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Galley Gossip: How to get free beer in flight

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on Oct 16th 2009 at 9:30AM

Recently I read an article on N

ews.com.au about a passenger who stole a few cans of beer from a beverage cart and then tried to flush the evidence - the empty cans, not the liquid - on an Air Canada Jazz flight. The pilot diverted the plane and the nameless thief, 23, was arrested for causing a disturbance on an aircraft. Like most airlines, Air Canada Jazz has zero tolerance for unruly behavior.

It did not come as a surprise to read about the passenger who had been caught stealing liquor, because I've come across quite a few sticky fingers myself over the years squatting in front of an unmanned cart or walking out of the galley with minis hanging out of their pockets. Yes, I made them put it back! What shocked me about the whole thing was the fact that the passenger actually tried to flush those aluminum cans down the toilet! Seriously, that's crazy!

Once, years ago, on a Sun Jet International flight, a passenger decided an hour before landing that a fire extinguisher would make a wonderful souvenir. Somehow, I don't know how, she managed to stuff the large red bottle inside a duffel bag and hide it under the seat in front of her, and she did it without anyone seeing her do so. The extinguisher only found its way back into the metal brackets behind the last row of coach after we, the crew, made several PA's threatening to search every bag on board the airplane, which happened after we made a few other PA's about not allowing anyone deplane until the fire extinguisher was returned - no questions asked. Not too long ago a passenger lo and behold "found" an egg McMuffin just sitting on my jump seat and figured it was for the taking. If the guilty one had not already bitten into my breakfast sandwich I would have snatched it back. I can't even tell you the number of times my magazines and books have disappeared right out of my tote bag. People do crazy things on airplanes.

Now back to the beer-drinking-aluminum-can flushing idiot who didn't have to steal the liquor which resulted in an arrest and probably a fine that was much higher than the price of an adult beverage. Really, there are ways to get free alcohol without causing an in flight disturbance, ya know. Oh sure it depends on the crew and the airline and what's going on that day, but here are a few ways to increase your chances...

HOW TO GET FREE BEER ON A FLIGHT

Switch seats. When the family with small children scattered all over the airplane asks if you mind switching your aisle seat for a middle seat, do it! Just make sure the flight attendants are watching.
Assist. It's seconds before departure and you see a flight attendant struggling to get those last bins shut, give her a hand. She'll remember who you are.
Speak up. The jerk in the last row is going on and on about his miserable day and now he's taking it out on the crew. They can't say anything, but you can, and they'll be glad you did.
Lie. Tell the flight attendants they're doing a wonderful job and this is the best flight you've ever been on. Thank them for making your day.
Brag. Let it be known just how many miles you've flown on the airline and then tell the crew why, exactly, you've flown so many miles and why, exactly, you'll continue to fly those miles.
Be Polite. Saying please and thank you and making eye contact actually goes a long way
Don't ask! Even if you think you deserve it.

Stories of booze gone bad in the skies

Filed under: Canada, Airlines, Galley Gossip

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Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)

jeffreylin Oct 16th 2009 4:28PM

Alcohol is a depressant. depressant bad.

dickschr Oct 16th 2009 4:44PM

Another way to get free drinks, thought not one I recommend, is to have hot water spilled into your lap by the flight attendant. That actually happened to me and I had free wine for the trip.

Will Oct 16th 2009 4:58PM

when i was in the Army Southwest airlines always gave me all the free beer i could drink if i had my uniform on.....one time i was flying home on leave after just returning to the states after a 14 month tour in iraq, it was like 7:30 in the morning, and i was in my dress uniform getting wasted, for FREE

it was great, and much needed after not being allowed to drink for 14 months

Brian Oct 16th 2009 5:18PM

I do not fly much, but I love talking with anyone with a sense of humor. I am very sarcastic, so I remember when I was flying to Vegas with my buddies, we spread out in the back row. Well, lo-and-behold, the biggest passenger came to the back and we had a middle seat open. I verbally, and quietly, prayed for her not to come back and then when there was no option yelled "Damn it!" but only the crew heard it that was chatting with us. Well, needless-to-say, they started laughing hard and went to the back room. Before this, I told them that I would be downing a few drinks in light of the situation. (BTW, the woman that sat next to me and my brother was very nice, even though uncomfortable for us to sit next to because of her size, a great person!)

I bought drinks for me and my friends. A few rounds and always was nice to the flight attendants. I ended up getting a few free shots for me and my friends by "making them smile and have a good time with us." (They wouldn't drink with us for obvious reasons.)

Another BTW, best flight attendant announcement on the way to Vegas with this Southwest flight (I waited til now to say the flight name). Lets just say there were references to them walking around naked, sexual innuendos and improvised pantomiming =) All this by the flight attendant who looked like Tina Fey!

Kim-Bob Oct 16th 2009 5:21PM

Just do the right thing and you can't lose.

Doug Oct 16th 2009 5:24PM

How to get free beer? Just say you're the pilot.

Borat Oct 16th 2009 5:34PM

Women are allowed on planes?!!! What kind of country is this!! WOWAWIWA

Chris Oct 16th 2009 5:37PM

@Aaron: "So... let me get this straight. If we lie and do your job for you we get a beer? Awesome."

Yes. And the FA will steal it from his or her employee for you.

Dr. Paveway Oct 16th 2009 6:27PM

Whoever wrote this article never has flown American Airlines with their 60+ year old flight attendants with a major attitude. I keep seeing this Korean Air commercial with flight attendants actually smiling! The last time I observed an Ameriacan Airlines attendant smile was when they ..... actually I can't remember.

Sit down and shut up. We are here for your safety.

Ron Oct 16th 2009 7:47PM

Wow sounds like you've gotten unlucky. There happen to be a lot of amazing FA's @ American, that love their jobs. Of course sometimes you get an unpleasant FA, on any airline, I find all you have to do is smile first! :-)

wdavid Oct 16th 2009 7:16PM

I've flown foreign and domestic and the American airlines people suck in comparison.
Surly and lazy comes to mind and God help you if ask for something.
Most people I know hate flying and it's mostly because of the burn out
attitude most of the employees have.

Ron Oct 16th 2009 7:39PM

This is so funny, and reminds me of a frequent flyer friend of mine, who is well educated and gainfully employed, yet obsessed with removing anything he possibly can from a plane after a flight. He has mugs, dishes, glasses, seatbelt extensions, and even a business class duvet. Now I am the biggest aviation geek you'll ever meet, but I still don't exactly see the thrill that comes from this. I love all things on an airplane, but when I'm home, I like to decorate my house with things from Pottery Barn and Crate and Barrel, and not American Airlines. As far as free beer or wine goes, I find when I'm stuck in steerage, and purchase a beverage, a smile, a please and thank you, and a "maybe I'll buy two now, so I don't have to bug you later" almost always gets me a two for one, at the very least!

Derek Jacobson Oct 16th 2009 7:45PM

Fly on any foreign carrier.

Bill Oct 16th 2009 10:34PM

Offer to pay with a $20 bill; fumble around like you're looking for something smaller, and apologize for having only a twenty, and the attendant will say "just forget it".

Sally Oct 16th 2009 8:31PM

My husband was a mechanic for Eastren Airlines so we flew a lot. On our honeymoon we traveled British Airways to London. On Eastren we almost always flew 1st class on passes but on other airlines we frequently flew coach as we did going to London. An old lady sat next to me who was extremily intoxicated and extremily talkative. While chatting with the poor gent next to her she spilled her drink all over him. He got up and went elsewhere so I became her next victum as was sitting on other side of her. She began yaking away to me, leaning over on me, the drink held in a shaky hand. Finally I told her to leave me alone or I'd throw her off the plane at 30,000 ft. whereupon she got up, telling me she was reporting me to the attendants. About 10 min. later an attendent came to us appologizing profusely. He said they'd locked her in the crew's compartment for the rest of the trip. When my husband told them who he worked for and why we were traveling they moved us to first class, had us go up to the lounge, (a 747), gave us all the drinks we wanted and as we deplaned gave us a whole bottle of free champagne. As for the old lady, she was met at Heathrow by a couple Bobbies and escorted immediately to a plane returning to the states.

InkspotD Oct 20th 2009 2:23PM

Your "Steve Holmes" quoted in this article was actually the arresting officer who was originally quoted following the arrest. The name of the accused was never released.
.... which leads me to ask, how many did you throw back while writing this blog??

Heather Poole Oct 20th 2009 7:42PM

Thanks for pointing that out, Steve - er - InkspotD. Unfortunately the only thing being "thrown back" around here are sippy cups of milk for the kid between unpacking and packing my bag. My bad. Again, thanks for pointing that out. Will look into it and make the correction if needed.

Steve - I mean heather!

Bil Oct 26th 2009 12:03AM

I working a flight when a passenger came to the back galley. He proceeded to let us know he was a "big shot" and flew us all the time. Honestly I think this was his first flight ever in his life. He wasn't rude, and it was quite funny to have him ask how he could get a free drink. I told him to just ask me for one. He did and I gave him a free drink. He went back to his seat happy and I had a funny story to tell.