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Babies and first class: why is this an issue?
Earlier this week, I saw a story about babies and first class air travel posted on Facebook. The Facebook poster asked our own Heather Poole (flight attendant, mother, and new book author!) for her thoughts on the story, and she replied, "I'm fine with babies in first class. Usually they just sleep." Columnist Brett Snyder is a frequent flier and new dad wondering if he should use miles to upgrade his first flight with the baby. Reading the article and the many comments, I wonder: why is this (or really any story about babies and airplanes) a contentious issue?Long before I even thought about having children, I thought the same about babies in first class that I thought about anyone in the front of the plane: must be nice for them. Sure, it might be a waste of money to give a premium seat to someone whose legs don't touch the ground and who can't enjoy the free Champagne, but it's the parents' choice to splurge on the ticket. If the parents are more comfortable, the kid might be happier and thus quiet -- a win-win for everyone on the plane. Does the child "deserve" to sit up front? Perhaps not, but airplane seating has never been based on merit. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, a passenger is a passenger, no matter how small.
As the veteran of nearly 20 flights with an infant in Europe, the US and trans-Atlantic, I've been fortunate to fly a few times with my daughter in business class. While the roomy seats and meals make a 10 hour flight easier with a baby, more valuable is the ability to skip check-in and security lines, board the plane early, and spend layovers in a spacious lounge with a place to heat baby food or change a diaper. Some of those perks used to be standard for all passengers with small children, but have now gone the way of the hot meal in coach. Some airlines still make travel easier for parents: JetBlue is one of the only US-based airlines to allow you to gate-check a stroller of any size and check your first bag free (checking a bag becomes inevitable with a baby). Gulf Air offers free "Sky Nannies" on long-haul flights for young children, and Lufthansa offers a guide service (for a fee) to escort families traveling through their German hubs. Turkish Airlines (my most frequently-used airline while I live in Istanbul) always offers a "baby meal" and blocks off empty seats when possible to give us more room.
I'm also fortunate to have an easy baby who so far (knock on wood) has been very well behaved on every flight. This is in part very good luck, but also due to the fact that I watch her constantly and head off any signs of crying before they start. I'll hold and feed her as often as it takes, even if it means I rarely rest anymore on a plane. Many of the same people who've given me "the look" when boarding with an infant have complimented me after on her behavior. Brett also notes in his article: "Don't just sit there while your baby screams. Do everything you can to calm him and people will be more understanding." This is good advice, but does it really need to be said?! I'd never dream of sitting by idly while my child disturbed other people and I'm embarrassed by any other parents who would consider such behavior acceptable. Still, I recognize that even with the most watchful parents, sometimes a cranky baby is unavoidable but I hope that when/if that day comes, my fellow passengers will see how hard I'm trying to make the flight easier for all of us. Better still, if I anticipate a difficult age for my baby to fly, I'll look into alternative methods of travel (or postpone until an easier time).
If we are going to ban babies from first class, or even segregate them from adults on all flights, why stop there? Why not a separate flight for the armrest-hogs, the obese, the incessant talkers, or the drunk and belligerent? I'd like a plane full of only frequent flyers, who know not to use their cell phone after the door closes, who don't rush the aisles the minute the wheels touch down, who don't recline their seats during drink service or bring smelly food (or nail polish) onto the plane. Start flights for only considerate, experienced travelers and you will find me in the front of the plane, with my baby on my lap.
For more about (considerate) travel with a baby, read my past "Knocked Up Abroad" stories here.
I'm also fortunate to have an easy baby who so far (knock on wood) has been very well behaved on every flight. This is in part very good luck, but also due to the fact that I watch her constantly and head off any signs of crying before they start. I'll hold and feed her as often as it takes, even if it means I rarely rest anymore on a plane. Many of the same people who've given me "the look" when boarding with an infant have complimented me after on her behavior. Brett also notes in his article: "Don't just sit there while your baby screams. Do everything you can to calm him and people will be more understanding." This is good advice, but does it really need to be said?! I'd never dream of sitting by idly while my child disturbed other people and I'm embarrassed by any other parents who would consider such behavior acceptable. Still, I recognize that even with the most watchful parents, sometimes a cranky baby is unavoidable but I hope that when/if that day comes, my fellow passengers will see how hard I'm trying to make the flight easier for all of us. Better still, if I anticipate a difficult age for my baby to fly, I'll look into alternative methods of travel (or postpone until an easier time).
If we are going to ban babies from first class, or even segregate them from adults on all flights, why stop there? Why not a separate flight for the armrest-hogs, the obese, the incessant talkers, or the drunk and belligerent? I'd like a plane full of only frequent flyers, who know not to use their cell phone after the door closes, who don't rush the aisles the minute the wheels touch down, who don't recline their seats during drink service or bring smelly food (or nail polish) onto the plane. Start flights for only considerate, experienced travelers and you will find me in the front of the plane, with my baby on my lap.
For more about (considerate) travel with a baby, read my past "Knocked Up Abroad" stories here.
Reader Comments (Page 7 of 8)
Marianne Moore Mar 14th 2012 5:45PM
It is not so much "kid haters" as it is arrogant parents like Luella B haters who have absolutely no consideration for other travellers and true to arrogant parent attitude think everyone else should get off if they are justifially annoyed by their unruly kids. She cites bratty, loud adults. They are a lot less common than children of arrogany parents. Also, loud, bratty adults usually get kicked off the plane, and so should you.
MMM Multiple Million Miler Mar 13th 2012 5:45PM
Having flown over 3 million miles in my 48 years, I can say that a child in first class can ruin a flight. I have encountered the parent come on and plunk down a pile of stuff on my lap (Hope you don't mind:-). Then they place the child on their lap on my side of their seat. I have been pinched, bitten, spit up on, and had my laptop broken by such passengers. I got to a point where I bought a personal game console with young childrens games to amuse them. It worked great until a family stole it, and left a note saying "Bobby liked it so much we knew you wouldn't care.
Enough said.
JCM Mar 13th 2012 6:03PM
As a flight attendant, I'm disturbed that passengers can bring their babies to First Class free of charge. It has been my experience that they absolutely ruin the flight for others who paid a very high premium to sit in a cabin that is supposed to emphasize peace, comfort and seclusion from the overall population. Screaming babies have caused first class passengers on my flights to go back to the economy cabin in search of an empty row in a quieter part of the cabin.
I truly believe that if people want to upgrade and they have children with them, a CHARGE to be able to do so would discourage the use of upgrades when traveling with infants. Let other passengers who also have upgrades use them if it means allowing the First Class cabin to retain what it was meant to do.
lms Mar 13th 2012 8:52PM
I always feel a bit of anxiety whenever we are waiting to board the plane and there are obiviously going to be children on board. But parents with children have just as much right to fly as I do. I have never been bothered by infants but our most recent trip involved a 2 year old seated right behind us that screamed for 38 minutes straight not once but twice. I only timed her because I couldn't believe she could sustain it for that long. I felt sorry for all of us...parent, child, and passengers. I was more discussed with the passenger who couldn't keep his mouth shut about it than with anything else.
Frank Mar 13th 2012 6:52PM
If I paid $3,000.0 or more to fly First Class it better be a quiet flight. I have spent to many hours in coach having to listen to unruly, crying, misbehaved children. Most parents are totally unapologetic or simply oblivious to their childrens behavior. I was on a 9 hour flight in Coach sitting next to two screaming children for most of the flight. The stewardess saw what was going on and offered me free drinks. I don't drink, but I considered it after that flight!
po Mar 13th 2012 6:53PM
I hate to fly! But if there was an occasion that we absolutetly had to I would expect that I and my children should be treated just the same as anyone else! And For those that think a parent should be penalized to back of the plane so the noise from the engines and the extra turbulence and make everyone sick.. Well you should be ashamed of yourself for even suggesting it. Children are smaller than you and you should be less of a bully and more of an understanding human being than a jerk!
Richard Ashcraft Mar 13th 2012 7:02PM
The reason it is an issue is because parents of babies no longer give a damn how the baby's crying affects other people. I worked at a movie theater, and every week we had to throw out a family because nobody would take the crying baby to the lobby.
I'll never forget one woman's response: "What's their problem? It's just a baby crying?" If the baby cries that much, you must suck as a parent. I've also seen mothers (never fathers) lock their babies in their cars and ignore their kids' requests to go to the bathroom, leaving a bunch of brown organic residue on the floor. Believe me, if I can cast a spell that would render people incapable of having kids for thirty years worldwide, I would do it.
Terry Mar 13th 2012 7:30PM
Babies in first class are NO problem for me. I am seat in the other half of the plane.
kpamesa Mar 13th 2012 7:52PM
One a domestic flight (1st class) had a woman board with a 2yr old and an infant - actually asked ME to hold the infant while she buckeled the other kid into its seat. Proceeded to breast feed (WITHOUT covering up) while the 2yr old continuously kicked the back of the seat of a businessman who was trying desperately to do some work. Flight crew was appalled and marked the woman's name and info to turn into HQ's so that they could ban her from future 1st class travel. Gotta love it......
Devorah Judith Mar 13th 2012 10:42PM
Please, the name of the airline so I can patronize it.
craig Mar 13th 2012 8:18PM
I don't have a problem with good kids or babies on a flight, or bus, or theatre, or church. I have a problem with irresponsible parents who allow their children to kick, cry, scream, whine, run around barefoot, etc. Child neglect is rampant in todays society. There are parents who obviously have taught their children to have respect for other people, and then are are those who could care less about other people, but only themselves. It's very annoying & rude to be forced to accept the immature & irresponsible behavior of bad parents & their mistakes. Any responsible & intelligent parent could fix this issue, if they would stop being so self-centered & greedy.
linda Mar 13th 2012 9:06PM
It's bad enough sitting close to a crying baby or unruley children in coach. But, if I'm paying a small fortune to relax and enjoy in first class- I don't want to hear a baby screaming or children.
Mothers today- don't want to interupt or offend their children.
I don't feel they are effective in keeping their children quite on airplanes.
bear Mar 13th 2012 10:13PM
the high shrill screaming kids that seem to be on ALL my flights make MY travel a living hell. Put all those parents on the same flight and inconvience them NOT me. Better yet leave the little brats at home with mom, dad, grandma or in the basement. Don't bring those things on MY flight.
Karen Mar 13th 2012 10:25PM
When I spend money to go out, be it to a restaurant, the salon or on a flight, I want to be able to relax and enjoy myself. I don't like most small children and it's because most small children have idiots for parents. If parents trained their children, I could deal with them. In restaurants, my solution is to have separate seating for families with children. Unfortunately, it doesn't happen. Perhaps the airlines should have adults only flights for those of us who don't want to deal with brats.
Jim Mar 13th 2012 10:47PM
First class people should get to experience the joys of little ones' temper tantrums just like us second class citizens in coach. At least they are another 6 inches away than the rst of us.
Al Mar 13th 2012 11:06PM
To be objective I say take the context away from being in an airplane to somewhere like a movie theater (or somewhere you'd expect everyone to be semi-quiet). Would it be acceptable if a baby started crying during a movie and all the mother did was walk up and down the aisles until the baby stopped crying? No, that would be completely unacceptable because when you go into a movie theater there is an expect social behavior-the mother would be expected to leave the movie to deal with the baby. Well why is that any different than flying on a plane? When you board a plane there is a social NORM and basic level of courtesy because there are so many people in a confined space. However, a baby doesn't understand those norms so it is the parents responsibility to keep the child in line with the acceptable level of behavior. But, unlike a movie a mother can't exit the theater--therefore, just as many parents of new borns aren't able to have their old movie night like they use to, they need to realize they shouldn't have the same flight privileges. Conversely, if go into a daycare or baby birthday party the social norm would be to expect a bunch a crying kids. Bottom line, just as no one wants to hear a crying baby during a 2 hour movie and we don't want to hear a baby on a 4 hour red-eye flight. I've chosen to not have kids at this stage in my life because I'm not READY to make the sacrifices that come along with having kids and shouldn't be made to feel bad because I don't want to hear someone else's crying gremlin--ESPECIALLY IF I PAID $500 for a first class seat!
nancy Mar 13th 2012 11:08PM
On a flight to London from Chicago, a baby never stopped crying. Why the mom wouldn't try a pacifier (only a bottle) I'll never know. Passengers de-planed looking frazzled and weary as no one got a bit of sleep. Since then, whenever I fly I always bring a good set of earphones - not ear buds - and it really helps.
Carol Mar 14th 2012 6:55AM
Babies will sometimes cry at inconvenient times, but can usually be soothed with a bottle, a cuddle, or both. Older children are another story. A child who has not been taught to behave in public on the ground will be a real pain in the air. My two children learned to sit properly and use inside voices as soon as they were old enough to walk to a local diner at a time when there were few customers. We practiced at home before the first trip, and by the time we arrived at the diner they were thrilled to show off their skills by putting a napkin on the lap, sitting nicely, using please and thank you, and speaking in a quiet tone. We practiced plane trips in a similar way. By the time they took their first flight they knew how to behave in public, and never caused a scene. The learning was fun, and the children were proud of their accomplishment. Given a chance to learn and to "show off" their new skills, children can do very well in nearly any environment
Mike Q Mar 14th 2012 3:59AM
If parents were as considerate as most on this blog state this wouldn't be an issue, unfortunately most aren't. The best solution? The airlines should have designated flights which allow children under 5 on the flight, all others require all passengers to be over 5. I'm a parent and I realize no matter what you do sometimes your kid is just going to act up. So? Remove them from the situation, why should everyone else have to put up with what even drives you crazy as the parent. This doesn't mean parents on these flights shouldn't take care of keeping their kid quiet, but it does allow those that don't want to and shouldn't have to an opportunity to have this annoyance eliminated in a fair and safe manner.
Tina Mar 14th 2012 4:22AM
We have been blessed also with a GREAT traveler, the only flight we ever had a problem with our daughter was one home from Disneyland, where upon the Dr visit the next day we found she had a double ear infection. She was awesome the whole flight but landing was ROUGH and rightfully so, we did all we could to get her through it, but some things you just can't help. I mean tell me you haven't flown with a head cold and wished you could bash your head on the window when landing. lol
My husband used to change my daughter in the restrooms on the plane with no problems, there really is no excuse as far as I am concerned there, if you have room on the dinky seat next to you, there is room in the restroom. You wouldn't do your business out and about, don't subject your child to that.
As far as the first class thing, this last november we went to Disneyworld with my parents and my dad used his business miles to fly us all home first class. It was the first time for her (6) and the stewardess' couldn't say enough about how sweet and well mannered she was. (THATS the key, is parents teaching their children how to behave in public, CARING about how their child is viewed. I would rather a stranger call my child a sweetheart to her face than glare at her and mumble about a snot nosed brat) Anyway... first class... I was SHOCKED at all the "suits" who walked by us at boarding and gave my daughter huffy snorts and dirty looks as if to say... "That was MY seat". Dude, we booked 6 months ago, its not like we stole it from you last night.... but still, you don't know us you don't know my child WHO cares where she sits! We have to get from point A to point B the same as you. Would you like me to put her in the luggage rack? Sheeesh.