Heather Poole
- http://www.HeatherPoole.com
Heather is a flight attendant for a major US carrier. She lives in California and works in New York.
Click on a label to read posts from that part of the world.
Galley Gossip: Advice for the employees of US Airways
Heather, Yesterday the flight attendants got terrible news at US Airways. THREE base closures. Mine included. In all these years, I've never commuted. And now, gone early next year: BOS, LGA and LAS. We got the news in the crew room. Some of the senior girls started to tear up. One cried, "I have thirty years, I've never commuted." The base is closing and we didn't even receive any information on base transfers, voluntary furloughs, whether or not we can keep our parking lot space, bidding packets from the other bases and seniority lists to help make a decision. Any tips? Prayers? An Article to educate us newbies?
Sincerely,
In shock
Dear in shock,
I'm sorry to hear about the unfortunate news. I understand why you and your colleagues are frustrated and upset. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse, your airline closing three bases or the fact that they did not alert employees until the last minute, only to do so with little to no information. These are your lives we're talking about, not just base closures! While commuting is not always easy, it is doable, and chances are you might even become a better flight attendant because of it. I know I did. First, here's the prayer you're looking for. And now for a few tips...
Galley Gossip: A memorable flight for a first time flier
I knew something was up when an attractive woman wearing a fur vest walked to the back of the airplane during boarding and pulled my coworker aside on a flight from Dallas to New York. I couldn't really make out what they were saying as I set up the galley, shoving snacks in a drawer and stacking cups in an insert, but it had something to do with a kid who had spent his entire summer babysitting while his friends went on vacation. The woman, it turned out, was the aunt who wanted to do something special for the boy, something that his friends had never experienced. "Ya think he can visit the pilot during the flight?" asked the woman smiling brightly. "It's his first flight."
"No, I'm sorry, we don't do that anymore, not during the flight," said my coworker. "But you can take him up there now while we're still boarding."
The exchange reminded me of a conversation I'd had with a guy who recently told me about a memorable flight he'd had as a child. It happened back in 70's when passengers actually dressed up to travel. He'd fallen asleep next to his mother and awoke to find that a pair of wings had been pinned to the lapel of his jacket. Not only did he keep the gold American Airline wings, he shared a photo of the jr. pilot wings, circa 1977, that the flight attendant had given to him aboard a B707. "It was the strangest thing," he said, reflecting back on the flight in awe. So strange, in fact, the experience may have been life altering. Bryan is now a pilot who also creates aviation T-shirt art.
Bryan isn't the only one who has experienced a memorable flight while growing up. I've heard several amazing stories over the years that have actually affected me! Now whenever I have kids on board I make it a point to march them up to the cockpit to meet the pilots. If they're lucky they'll get to push a few buttons and might even get a copy of the flight plan after we land. You never know whose future you may be shaping with one simple push of a button and a handful of paper.
Galley Gossip: Laviators - the best of the best contest!
Last week a producer from ABC Nightline News contacted me about doing a story on the laviators - THE LAVIATORS! I know, it's weird, I can't believe it myself. But one of their corespondents actually happened across my blog after surfing around Youtube where they found people doing all sorts of bizarre things in airplane bathrooms. Of course I asked if he'd seen my video, 25 ways to use a maxi pad in flight, but he had not, so I emailed it to him right away. What he had seen, it turns out, was Michelle's funny laviator music video featured below.
"Michelle really stepped it up a notch," the producer said matter of fact over the phone.
"That she did!" I agreed. Then I added, "She's also the one responsible for getting the word 'laviator' into the urban dictionary! Now if only we can get the word 'lavatar,' as in a laviator avatar, in there as well."
The producer laughed, and then went on to describe the club as "hysterically weird" and asked what might compel someone to take pictures of themselves in the lavatory.
Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself, and I'm the first official laviator! Although I'm pretty sure it has something to do with boredom. Or maybe it's just exciting to do something a little risque - and weird - on an airplane. Then again, it could be all of the above. Who knows. All I know for sure is the end result is fun.
After pitching his story idea, the producer assured me he'd be back in touch. That was over a week ago and I still haven't head from him. Well that got me thinking. Let's have a best of the best laviator photo contest!
Gallery: Laviators: The best of the best
-of-lavitate_thumbnail.jpg "Most brilliant laviator (for coming up with yet another way to use a maxi pad in flight)")
Galley Gossip: Can an average Joe date a flight attendant?
Mark,
The answer is yes, an average Joe can date a flight attendant. Just like an average Joe can date a nurse or a lawyer or a sales clerk or whoever it is Joe wants to date. All he has to do is ask! It all boils down to the approach. Of course Joe's personality has a lot to do with it, too. Always remember, nice guys get nice girls, and you'll be fine. They do!
You mentioned that you don't often get a chance to chat with many flight attendants. Well that's your first problem, Mark, and it's a big one! Communication is the key to any relationship, especially if you want it to last. If you aren't able to say hello and make small talk with the one hovering over your seat waving a beverage napkin, how on earth are you ever going to ask that special someone out? My advice to you is to start by opening the window. What I mean by that is ask a simple question like, are you laying over in (insert city)? Do you know of anywhere good to eat in (insert city or airport)? Ask an open ended question that the flight attendant can easily answer. Simply say something other than what you'd like to drink. Don't forget to say please and thank you, and try making eye contact when you do so. Kindness goes a long way.
Galley Gossip: How to get free beer in flight
Recently I read an article on N
ews.com.au about a passenger who stole a few cans of beer from a beverage cart and then tried to flush the evidence - the empty cans, not the liquid - on an Air Canada Jazz flight. The pilot diverted the plane and the nameless thief, 23, was arrested for causing a disturbance on an aircraft. Like most airlines, Air Canada Jazz has zero tolerance for unruly behavior.
ews.com.au about a passenger who stole a few cans of beer from a beverage cart and then tried to flush the evidence - the empty cans, not the liquid - on an Air Canada Jazz flight. The pilot diverted the plane and the nameless thief, 23, was arrested for causing a disturbance on an aircraft. Like most airlines, Air Canada Jazz has zero tolerance for unruly behavior.
It did not come as a surprise to read about the passenger who had been caught stealing liquor, because I've come across quite a few sticky fingers myself over the years squatting in front of an unmanned cart or walking out of the galley with minis hanging out of their pockets. Yes, I made them put it back! What shocked me about the whole thing was the fact that the passenger actually tried to flush those aluminum cans down the toilet! Seriously, that's crazy!
Once, years ago, on a Sun Jet International flight, a passenger decided an hour before landing that a fire extinguisher would make a wonderful souvenir. Somehow, I don't know how, she managed to stuff the large red bottle inside a duffel bag and hide it under the seat in front of her, and she did it without anyone seeing her do so. The extinguisher only found its way back into the metal brackets behind the last row of coach after we, the crew, made several PA's threatening to search every bag on board the airplane, which happened after we made a few other PA's about not allowing anyone deplane until the fire extinguisher was returned - no questions asked. Not too long ago a passenger lo and behold "found" an egg McMuffin just sitting on my jump seat and figured it was for the taking. If the guilty one had not already bitten into my breakfast sandwich I would have snatched it back. I can't even tell you the number of times my magazines and books have disappeared right out of my tote bag. People do crazy things on airplanes.
Now back to the beer-drinking-aluminum-can flushing idiot who didn't have to steal the liquor which resulted in an arrest and probably a fine that was much higher than the price of an adult beverage. Really, there are ways to get free alcohol without causing an in flight disturbance, ya know. Oh sure it depends on the crew and the airline and what's going on that day, but here are a few ways to increase your chances...
Galley Gossip: Attention All Nippon Airway passengers, please empty your bladders now!
Most of the time it's a passenger making a strange request, but this time it's an airline and that airline is implementing one wacky new policy. It wants you to pee before you fly. As of October 1, 2009, All Nippon Airways (ANA), a Japanese Airline, is asking its passengers to empty their bladders before boarding a flight, and they're doing so in the guise of going green. Now I'm all for being green, I even carry my own eco friendly refillable water bottle along with me on trips, but setting up signs at the airport and hiring "loo-attendants" to remind people to use the bathroom is kind of crazy, don't ya think? ANA believes a lighter aircraft will result in lower fuel use which in return will create a reduction in carbon emissions.
Perhaps All Nippon is on to something. It's been rumored that American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 when they removed one olive - ONE OLIVE! - from each salad in first class. Can you imagine how much money will be saved if every single passenger on board a full flight uses the loo before take-off? According to the Dailymail.co.uk, the average human bladder capacity is 15oz, which means if 150 passengers relieved themselves that would total to 63.7kg of waste. That's 140 pounds, people! That doesn't even count the amount of money the airline stands to save on toilet paper. Now does anyone know how much an olive weighs?
Galley Gossip: How to create a flight attendant Halloween costume
I'm the type of person who usually waits until the last second to pull something together, which is why I almost always end up feeling insecure about my costume, a crap costume, which only leads to a miserable night out - that is if I even go out! It all depends on just how crappy the crap costume actually ends up.
But this year I've decided to do things a little differently and embrace the holiday season. I'm going to dress up in something I've planned out well in advance. What that costume may be I still don't know, but my three year-old knows that he's going as Captain Hook and wants me to dress up as Tinkerbell. Not a chance. Thankfully there's still plenty of time to figure it out.
Now if you're like me, you're looking for a costume that's easy to throw together and inexpensive. So why not live out your inner fantasy and dress up as me - a flight attendant! Think about it, you'll be able to deliver drinks and do the pointy-point all night long. Oh you know you want to!
Last year at this exact same time I came across an interesting post from Jennine (that's her in the photo) who has a fantastic fashion blog called The Coveted. Imagine my surprise when I spotted her dressed up as a stewardess for Halloween, a fantastic get up she created by using clothing from her very own closet.
Galley Gossip: Flight attendants under investigation for bomb threat
It happened a few seconds after the Captain on my flight from Miami to New York introduced himself and then asked if I had brewed a pot of coffee. I had, in fact. I always do whenever I'm working the galley. I poured him a cup and told him my name as we boarded a full flight on a 757.
After taking a sip, he whipped off his hat and hung it on a hook against the back of the cockpit door. Nonchalantly he said, "Did you hear about the bomb threat today?"
Immediately I stopped counting meals, chicken with rice and cheese tortellini, and spun around to face him. "What happened?"
"A flight attendant found a note in the lavatory. It said there was a bomb on board the flight." And with that he was gone, too busy chatting away with a mechanic who had stepped into the cockpit.
Of course the first thing that came to mind when the pilot uttered those two oh-so-innocent words, "flight attendant", was oh no, please don't let it be a flight attendant who wrote the note. The next thing I thought was, I wonder if the crew was on reserve.
The only reason I suspected the crew was because something similar had happened a few years back. Even in that case, so many years ago, when I heard on the news that the flight attendant under investigation had been on reserve when she left a note in the lav, I had to laugh. Just because being on reserve does make one a little bit crazy. At times. But usually not that crazy, not bomb writing crazing of course!
When I mentioned to a friend, and lawyer, what had happened on the American Airlines flight from Boston to Miami, as well as whom I hoped the suspects would not turn out to be, he said, "Tell me, how does 'we will get fired' 'we will go to prison' get left out of the thought process before writing that kind of note?"
Good question.
Then I reminded him, as well as myself, that the flight attendants in question are innocent until proven guilty.
Two days later I am now unhappy to report that what I had prayed would not be the case seems to be kinda-sorta happening. The crew is now officially under investigation. The details are as follows...
Galley Gossip: Fly Girls, a flight attendant docu-series airing soon
The first thing I thought when I heard about the new flight attendant show called Fly Girls was, why didn't they ask me! Not that I really want to be on a reality show. It's just...well...it would have been kind of nice to have been asked.
The second thing I thought was, I wonder if any of the "fly girls" are guys? Because guys do fly, and that Virgin America flight attendant over there, the one donning the inflatable yellow life vest, is lookin pretty fly to me. I'm just saying...
The third thing I thought was, oh no. Because whenever flight attendants are in the spotlight it's rarely a good thing. People seem to have a love hate relationship with flight attendants. Actually, it's more of a love to hate type of relationship. Don't believe me? Just go and read a few of the comments the Galley Gossip post flight attendant pet peeve #1, answer please! generated.
Just last week I read about Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who drives over 30 miles from his home in Phoenix to the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport while wearing a monkey mask. He does this in order to illegally pass through the photo-enforcement gantlet on Interstate 17. Vontesmar truly believes the DPS is required to identify the driver of the vehicle, not just the vehicle, so he's fairly confident he won't have to pay the fines that the monkey mask wearer, whoever that may be, accumulated for 37 violations, an amount that could easily rack up to over $6,500.
Of course the first thing I thought when I read that story was, what if passengers wore monkey masks on board our planes? Would they, too, be exempt from following the rules. Of course this only reminded me of the time I actually had a monkey on board my flight. She sat in business class and was one of the most well behaved passengers I've ever met. But that's another story.
This story is about Flight attendants and how we, flight attendants, already have a bad rap. Not that some of us don't deserve it, because Dave and his monkey mask are a big part of the problem. I'm just saying, do we really need a reality show that could possibly make us look even worse? Because you know there will be drama. You know there will be sex. And you know this show is going to be a huge hit! Don't believe me? One of the executive producers is Colin Nash. Name doesn't ring a bell? Perhaps you've heard of one of his other shows, The Hills?
Here's what Mike Bruno of EW.com had to say about the show...
Galley Gossip: Interview with New York Times best selling author Allison Winn Scotch
It's been a long time since I've read a book I couldn't put down. In fact, your book, Time of my Life, made me wish my commuter flight from New York to Los Angeles would never end. It's that good! With heavy issues like abandonment, divorce, escape and fate, what inspired you to write the book?
Well, I'd been contemplating doing a time-travel story, but I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I mentioned it to my agent, and I think she was deeply perplexed by both the idea and me! But I didn't know how to sort it out in my mind. But then one afternoon while the idea was brewing, my best friend called while she was on vacation where her ex-boyfriend lived, and she said, "I'm so weirded out...I can't stop thinking about what my life might have been like."
Then we had one of those intimate life conversations that you can only have with your closest friends, about her what-ifs and my what-ifs, and I assured her that this was all very normal, even though people didn't really talk about how much they wonder about what could have been. We hung up, and I headed out for a run, and BAM...the idea, characters and plotlines just presented themselves very clearly. I came home, wrote what are now the first 14 pages, and sent them off to my agent, who flipped for them. I think, as so many of us get older and look back on our younger years with nostalgia, it's very easy to consider what the other possibilities could have been --and I wanted to explore that.
As a flight attendant, I love my job because it allows me to jump on a plane and go wherever I want whenever I want, as long as there's an open seat available. Just knowing I can travel like that brings a sense of calm to my life. My job also allows for a little "me time" since I'm gone for a few days at a time each month. Women today are so busy working full time jobs and then going home to clean the house, make dinner and take care of others, they have a tendency to forget about themselves. Which is why I believe escape is a popular theme for women and why so many women wonder about what could have been if they had made different choices in life. Have you as a wife, mother, and a New York Time's best selling author, ever wondered - what if?
