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Babies and first class: why is this an issue?
Earlier this week, I saw a story about babies and first class air travel posted on Facebook. The Facebook poster asked our own Heather Poole (flight attendant, mother, and new book author!) for her thoughts on the story, and she replied, "I'm fine with babies in first class. Usually they just sleep." Columnist Brett Snyder is a frequent flier and new dad wondering if he should use miles to upgrade his first flight with the baby. Reading the article and the many comments, I wonder: why is this (or really any story about babies and airplanes) a contentious issue?Long before I even thought about having children, I thought the same about babies in first class that I thought about anyone in the front of the plane: must be nice for them. Sure, it might be a waste of money to give a premium seat to someone whose legs don't touch the ground and who can't enjoy the free Champagne, but it's the parents' choice to splurge on the ticket. If the parents are more comfortable, the kid might be happier and thus quiet -- a win-win for everyone on the plane. Does the child "deserve" to sit up front? Perhaps not, but airplane seating has never been based on merit. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, a passenger is a passenger, no matter how small.
As the veteran of nearly 20 flights with an infant in Europe, the US and trans-Atlantic, I've been fortunate to fly a few times with my daughter in business class. While the roomy seats and meals make a 10 hour flight easier with a baby, more valuable is the ability to skip check-in and security lines, board the plane early, and spend layovers in a spacious lounge with a place to heat baby food or change a diaper. Some of those perks used to be standard for all passengers with small children, but have now gone the way of the hot meal in coach. Some airlines still make travel easier for parents: JetBlue is one of the only US-based airlines to allow you to gate-check a stroller of any size and check your first bag free (checking a bag becomes inevitable with a baby). Gulf Air offers free "Sky Nannies" on long-haul flights for young children, and Lufthansa offers a guide service (for a fee) to escort families traveling through their German hubs. Turkish Airlines (my most frequently-used airline while I live in Istanbul) always offers a "baby meal" and blocks off empty seats when possible to give us more room.
I'm also fortunate to have an easy baby who so far (knock on wood) has been very well behaved on every flight. This is in part very good luck, but also due to the fact that I watch her constantly and head off any signs of crying before they start. I'll hold and feed her as often as it takes, even if it means I rarely rest anymore on a plane. Many of the same people who've given me "the look" when boarding with an infant have complimented me after on her behavior. Brett also notes in his article: "Don't just sit there while your baby screams. Do everything you can to calm him and people will be more understanding." This is good advice, but does it really need to be said?! I'd never dream of sitting by idly while my child disturbed other people and I'm embarrassed by any other parents who would consider such behavior acceptable. Still, I recognize that even with the most watchful parents, sometimes a cranky baby is unavoidable but I hope that when/if that day comes, my fellow passengers will see how hard I'm trying to make the flight easier for all of us. Better still, if I anticipate a difficult age for my baby to fly, I'll look into alternative methods of travel (or postpone until an easier time).
If we are going to ban babies from first class, or even segregate them from adults on all flights, why stop there? Why not a separate flight for the armrest-hogs, the obese, the incessant talkers, or the drunk and belligerent? I'd like a plane full of only frequent flyers, who know not to use their cell phone after the door closes, who don't rush the aisles the minute the wheels touch down, who don't recline their seats during drink service or bring smelly food (or nail polish) onto the plane. Start flights for only considerate, experienced travelers and you will find me in the front of the plane, with my baby on my lap.
For more about (considerate) travel with a baby, read my past "Knocked Up Abroad" stories here.
I'm also fortunate to have an easy baby who so far (knock on wood) has been very well behaved on every flight. This is in part very good luck, but also due to the fact that I watch her constantly and head off any signs of crying before they start. I'll hold and feed her as often as it takes, even if it means I rarely rest anymore on a plane. Many of the same people who've given me "the look" when boarding with an infant have complimented me after on her behavior. Brett also notes in his article: "Don't just sit there while your baby screams. Do everything you can to calm him and people will be more understanding." This is good advice, but does it really need to be said?! I'd never dream of sitting by idly while my child disturbed other people and I'm embarrassed by any other parents who would consider such behavior acceptable. Still, I recognize that even with the most watchful parents, sometimes a cranky baby is unavoidable but I hope that when/if that day comes, my fellow passengers will see how hard I'm trying to make the flight easier for all of us. Better still, if I anticipate a difficult age for my baby to fly, I'll look into alternative methods of travel (or postpone until an easier time).
If we are going to ban babies from first class, or even segregate them from adults on all flights, why stop there? Why not a separate flight for the armrest-hogs, the obese, the incessant talkers, or the drunk and belligerent? I'd like a plane full of only frequent flyers, who know not to use their cell phone after the door closes, who don't rush the aisles the minute the wheels touch down, who don't recline their seats during drink service or bring smelly food (or nail polish) onto the plane. Start flights for only considerate, experienced travelers and you will find me in the front of the plane, with my baby on my lap.
For more about (considerate) travel with a baby, read my past "Knocked Up Abroad" stories here.
Reader Comments (Page 3 of 8)
Tina Mar 14th 2012 4:35AM
Jim, as a mom who traveld a lot when her (now 6) daughter was a baby... I will say I NEVER EVER understood how people could do that. My husband would volunteer to change our daughter in the restrooms and he NEVER complained of no room so I don't think thats a valid excuse for parents. I HATE seeing parents whip off a diaper where ever they flippin please. The only place, outside of a restroom, did we change our daughter was in the trunk of our SUV on road trips. PEOPLE you don't do you're business in public, don't subject your children to that! LET ALONE the sanitation issues. Its just flat out nasty!
And I agree... the key to a successful flight is PARENTING not the luck of the draw. On a recent flight to Florida the kid behind us screamed a good protion of the way, DURING the flight my daughter would get on her knees and pier over the seat to play hide and seek with him, to read to him, to share her crayons... and on the decent when he shrieked bloody murder she reached between her seat behind her and held his hand so he would stop screaming. I adored my daughter and how attentive she was that flight, and I stressed myself silly that turbulance or a bad landing would break her twisted back arm. But when all was said and done and we were getting off the flight and people were telling HER thanks I thought, WAIT... why was MY child taking care of THEIR son?
Barbara Greene Mar 13th 2012 9:34AM
I would try to change planes if I was in 1st class and there was a baby. Face it, part of paying through the nose for 1st class is to get away from the riffraff in economy. Give the kid a sleeping pill before you get on the plane, fine, but a long flight with a screeching, pooping, smelly infant is a nightmare. Parents never seem to think twice about anyone other than themselves and inflict their little monsters on everyone. This is why it's an issue.
Devorah Judith Mar 13th 2012 10:26PM
Wow, Ms. Greene. Ever been a parent? Only in the movies do parents produce perfect well-behaved robots. Thank you for changing flights. You are doing all the passengers a favor.
Chris Mar 13th 2012 9:45AM
I would try to switch flights if someone like YOU was on my flight! How insanely arrogant you ar. "Rifraf" is not defined by where one is seated on an airplane, but by the ugliness inside.
Bear Mar 13th 2012 10:08AM
I fully agree 100% with you. I raised 2 kids, and never took them into first class, because like you, I wanted those seats for good reason. BTW, a good back-hand to some of these brats would be nice parents...why fly if you can`t controll the little......
sunday Mar 13th 2012 10:08AM
@ B. Greene - Then again...maybe YOU should be the one who pops a sleeping pill.
John Casy Mar 13th 2012 11:25AM
Mrs Green your so right. No one wants to be around a yelling, chitten, germ infested mistake ( Baby ).
They should ban all babies from flying. Or better yet strap them in the cargo compartment. If there dead when the plane lands mom can always make another.
lindsay.dove Mar 13th 2012 4:06PM
LOL wow. I can use my frequent flyer miles to upgrade to first class if I want. I prefer first class with children for the extra room and comfort. The simple fact is you can't avoid the fact that a baby will cry -- and it will annoy people in any area regardless. Invest in some noise canceling BOSE headphones and shut your snobby mouth.
mary collins finn Mar 13th 2012 9:37AM
This headline touched a nerve! Last week I flew from Bangkok to Orlando in economy. Tried to buy an upgrade at check in but business class was full. For the leg to Narita I used my Bose headphones to (partially) drown out the noise of screaming infants. But stupid idiot that I am, I left them in my seat pocket as I deplaned. For the much longer leg Narita to Dulles I was seated opposite a mother with infant on lap who bawled the whole way. The mother just sat there staring straight ahead and as far as I could see did absolutely nothing to calm the infant. I was dying to suggest that she might need to stick a bottle in its mouth or perhaps change the diaper or something but I was too cowardly. Fortunately a braver soul than myself strolled up to her and seems to have made the suggestion because we got temporary relief when she pulled out a bottle and fed the child.
Imagine my chagrin when we arrived at Dulles and I saw the woman deplane along with her husband - HE HAD BEEN SEATED ABOUT TWENTY ROWS TO THE FRONT OF THE PLANE and cleverly was spared the torture the rest of us had to endure.
Brenda Mar 13th 2012 11:30AM
Poor you. You had to "endure" a few hours of the company of a crying baby for the "courtesy of others". How utterly humane of you. Grow up and get over yourself. Nothing is more precious than a baby. Why dont all you who complain sit in the hole of the plan you suggest for infants and let the infants have the "comfort of the planes best" since they are not the ones complaining about you..but rather you are complaining about them. Babies cry. You complain. Whats the difference?? I would personally rather hear the babies cry. At least they are innocent about it. Your complaining is all about hating on babies and the inconvenience of having to "hear one cry".
JG Mar 13th 2012 5:07PM
Children under 6 have NO PLACE in first class, especially when you have 5 children under the age of 5 and you and hubby can't calm the little monsters. They need to be in the back of the plane near the potty where they can't climb all over the seats and bother people trying to read, work and simply rest. When I purchase a first class seat I don't expect to be bumped, climbed over and the mediator between two of your toddlers hollering across the aisle because you and daddy choose to enjoy an intimate moment of juicy juice and goldfish while the kids wreak havoc for the rest of us. I did not dare travel with my children in first class when they were young, simply out of respect for those wanting to enjoy "cocktails." My last first class flight was horrible and although it lasted only an hour and a half, it seemed like an eternity listening to these toddlers scream about having to potty, wanting juice, crackers, toys and books and screaming their heads off like they were on a roller coaster. Either teach junior and his siblings how to conduct themselves 30,000 feet in the air or rent a station wagon and do like Chevy Chase and DRIVE to your destination!!
PJ Mar 13th 2012 9:38AM
I would like to see special sections in Coach for people with babies or small children. The last thing I want when undertaking a long flight is a noisy baby. They should also be strapped down since they are just as dangerous flying thru the air as a piece of hand luggage.
sosh Mar 13th 2012 9:40AM
I fly first or business to avoid several things. One is infants screaming. I really object to them in first class, coach is bad enough. I have been unfortunate enough to sit near a parent changing a diaper while I am trying to eat my dinner and then having the gaul to put the dirty diaper under my seat. When I spoke to the woman about it she became quite arrogant. I was able to have the F/A give me another seat far from the offender. When I did ask the F/A to put a stop to it the rest of the people in first applauded. Most airlines prohibit their employees pass riding from putting a child under the age of 11 in First. Why not use the same standard for passengers.
matt Mar 13th 2012 10:09AM
Sosh I am an airline employee and you are correct. That rule for no young children in first class for employees families should be extended to all fliers. Clearly the airlines know it is a problem or they wouldn't make it an issue with employees.
Chaz Mar 13th 2012 9:41AM
I think DH just got it right. 6 hrs with a screaming kid PLEASE. give the kids to the grandparents like mine do.
Julie Mar 13th 2012 9:43AM
With regard to your questioning whether parents need to be told to do something about a screaming child, yes, it does need to be said. As a flight attendant of 23 years, I'm amazed, but no longer surprised, at parents who allow their babies to scream incessantly, their toddlers to clamber over seats and run up and down the aisle and even older children to behave obnoxiously on an aircraft. It's generally not the children's fault but the parents'. Some people can bring children on a flight, and they are well behaved, well mannered and delightful to have onboard. And others are a nightmare. The problem with babies in first class is this type of parent. Other people have either paid a lot of money or flown hundreds of thousands of miles to earn the privilege of first class travel, and a screaming child and clueless parent ruin the whole flight for them. I don't know if banning babies altogether is the answer, but all it takes is one jerk to ruin things for everyone. Most of the other things you mentioned can be rectified...the obese passenger needs to purchase two seats, nail polish is prohibited in airplane cabins, drunk passengers are not permitted to board, (which doesn't solve the problem of people who drink too much inflight, I know) people who refuse to turn off their cell phones can be ejected from the flight, etc. But for the idiotic parent with the badly behaved child, or screaming infant they refuse to try to calm, there's not much the flight crew can do.
BC Mar 13th 2012 9:47AM
Hey DH, you are the one who is selfish and arrogant. I fly 200k a year for business and have earned my status and place i first class by way of that yearly economic feat. Sometimes I am so busy that bringing my family, including my 16 month old, is the only family time I have. So whether I pay or use miles, I can put my family in first class and the airlines bend over backwards to take care of me as a top tier customer. So my friend, it will be you who has to 'deal with it' when I baby is in first class...
dillon Mar 13th 2012 11:09AM
sorry but that just sounds really selfish and arrogant. so what about the rest of the cabin? its all about you.
mambette Mar 13th 2012 9:45AM
I have flown alone with 3 small children and they have always been very well behaved. Even as infants and toddlers, there has never been a problem. Now I don't want to sound self serving, but I was the reason they were well behaved. I bought them each a seat with their respective size carseats, brought plenty of books, games, diversions, food and worked my tail off to keep them happy. Everyone else was happy, too. People have commented to me on their behavior. When a child is unruly on a plane, it IS the parents' fault. If you are a parent of an unruly child you may disagree. But you will be the only one doing so.
Tina Mar 14th 2012 4:50AM
I agree 100% we traveled a lot with our daughter, her fist flight was 3mths old. As a BABY we would fly at nap time... feed her going up she'd be asleep 20min in and sleep the whole flight. When she got a little older, she would pack her own little backpack of stuff to do and we bought a DVD player, she doesn't get to watch much TV as a rule, but she learned QUICK that if she stayed well mannered and quietly played with her toys, when the captain turned off that sign she could watch her "toons". Also, when we traveled with her carseat... she ALWAYS happy, she loved her carseat, it was "her" space and she was happy there. We STILL schedule flights home in the late afternoon and run her ragid during the day, she passes out while we taxi and sleeps the whole way home.
You aren't being arogant or self serving it depends 99% on the parents and how they RAISE their children. You raise them to be respectful of other people and act proper in public and you'll save not only YOUR sanity, but those around you! She's 6 now, traveling is old hat to her, she knows the routine like the back of her hand and she loves it.
And I say 99% because I did fall victim to a dessent into home after one trip, where upon a visit to the Dr the next day, we found out she flew home with a double ear infection at 15mths... that landing was rough, but we did all we could possibly do under the circumstance.