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Galley Gossip: Special requests, two cubes of ice & a man's pair of pants

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on Jan 29th 2010 at 9:30AM

Dear Heather,

So the other day I was on a flight from Boston to San Francisco and I thought you might get a kick out of the following conversation that took place between the flight attendant working in first class and the passenger sitting beside me...

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: Miss did you get a chance to look at the menu?

PASSENGER: Unfortunately

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (Pauses. Smiles) Will you be dining with us tonight?

PASSENGER: I don't like anything on the menu, I mean clam chowder and steak - gross and gross!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: I'm sorry, but that is all I have tonight.

PASSENGER: I mean, all of us are from California. We don't like CLAMS or STEAK! I want two portions of salad, the dessert fruit plate as my meal, with still water - not sparkling, and red wine - but not with my nuts, WITH my meal, and NO dessert!

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (repeats the order) Got it!

PASSENGER: Wait, can I just have almonds? Oh forget it. I'll pick out what I don't want.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (smiles, glances at me) And what will you be having for dinner tonight, Sir?

ME: I'll have the chowder, please.

FLIGHT ATTENDANT: (Big sigh, wink) Thank you!.... (walks away)

Just thought I'd share...

Sincerely,

Ron

(A.K.A. Frequent-flyin-two-timin Ron)

Dear Ron,

Boston - San Francisco? Oh no no no, Ron, you must be confused, because your flight sounds a lot like my flight, only I worked the New York - Seattle route last night. I mean that was you, wasn't it, sitting behind the first class passenger who wanted "just a little bit" of ice with Diet Coke, the passenger who looked absolutely disgusted when I placed a drink on her tray table with - count em – one, two, three, four cubes swimming around inside the glass? This, of course, resulted in a request for a spoon, ya know, so that she could scoop out two cubes and then drop them into the palm of my hand.

Yeah...umm...thank you, Ma'am.

Or was that you sitting across the aisle from the first class passenger who decided to change out of his business suit right as we were about to begin the meal service. Remember, him, Mister sparkling water with lime? The passenger that exited the lav wearing jeans who asked if I could hang his gray trousers in the closet, which I did, and that was fine. But then, right before landing, I stood in the aisle holding a man's pair of pants and felt...well...kind of strange just standing there in the aisle holding a man's pair of pants in front of other passengers while waiting, waiting, waiting, for him to put away and stow a computer. I mean I didn't want to give anyone the wrong idea or anything.

ME: Sir, your pants?

PASSENGER: (takes them and lays them across his lap, no response)

Weird, right? I mean you'd think a person would thank a flight attendant for handing them their own pants in public!

Anyway, more wine for you, Ron! Thanks for being so observant. Here, go ahead, take the bottle. You're my kind of passenger.

Sincerely,

Heather Poole

Photos courtesy of Melissa Maples and Telstar Logistics

Filed under: Airlines, Galley Gossip

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

RON Jan 29th 2010 11:26AM

What would be perfect, is a pic of you standing in the aisle of a 757 holding a pair of slacks, with an annoyed look on your face, waiting to hand them off! LOL!!!!

Rachel Jan 29th 2010 4:22PM

Heather, I'm sure you will get at least one comment that basically says "Suck it up, it's your job, stop complaining, blah, blah blah". I think the fact that you can help the crazies with a smile 99.9% of the time is admirable. I work in a service industry where you are not stuck with customers for hours on end, and I still feel like strangling them sometimes.

When I fly, I always try to be easy, and if I have specific requests, I make sure to give a genuine thank you, which I think people forget too often.

Four Feet In The Air Jan 29th 2010 5:41PM

ROTFL (although my 15 1/2 yr old daughter says we don't DO "rotfl" anymore, but I digress...) I'm a Flight Attendant for a regional airline. A few weeks ago, on our SMALLEST aircraft (34 passenger, turbo-prop) a "normal-looking" woman in the last row coming out of a small Wisconsin town (45 minute flight. maybe.) requested a CAPPUCCINO! I smiled and offered her coffee. She (totally straight-faced, mind you) said "Then I'll have hot chocolate." I continued to smile and asked her again if she'd like some coffee.... Thought you'd find this amusing! (Check out my blog: www.kimoglsb.wordpress.com It's called "Four Feet in the Air") Happy trails to you!

Noah Jan 29th 2010 6:09PM

@FOUR FEET IN THE AIR - LOL, I had a similar experience once on a 32 seat jet. After assuring them we did not have a cappuccino machine hidden somewhere onboard, they asked what we had for lunch. When I replied with "pretzels" I got a really disgusted look. All this on a 35 minute flight where it was difficult enough to serve drinks to everyone.

Greg M Jan 29th 2010 11:12PM

I just love the gullible passengers. Just about every flight (I work on the Embraer 170/175's) I have a passenger ask me what is for the meal. I jokingly say the steak and lobster is being served today, but unfortunatly it ends two rows in front of you... They and I laugh and I serve them their drink.

I had a lady, after we passed her row, that overheard our conversation, get up and move to an empty spot a few rows up. I asked her why she moved, and she said she wanted the steak and lobster. I had to go to the back galley lav and bust out laughing. The guy I said it to also followed me back and stood in the galley laughing. We enjoyed that one.