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Having sex on a beach can get you jail time
World travel is a wonderful thing--or can have dire consequences when cultures clash. Having sex in a public place isn't exactly celebrated in western culture, but it's not uncommon--particularly under the cover of night when the stretch of a beach seems private.
In some cultures having "safe sex" is more than using a condom.
In Dubai, if you get caught having sex in public, you will get arrested and face years in jail--six in fact. Such is the possible fate of Michelle Palmer, a British woman who has worked in Dubai for three years. She and her male companion were caught having sex. If all goes well, she might only be in jail for three months--the minimum sentence.
The story is not complicated. Palmer, a manager of ITP Publishing was at a champagne brunch where the bubbly stuff flowed. Eventually, smashed and feeling frisky, she and a man headed to the beach for some adult fun and letting off steam.
Unfortunately, the police came along. Having sex in public in Dubai is not the only big no-no. So is having sex if you are unmarried. So is being drunk. Three strikes, you're out. Or in--as in jail.
This article in MailOnline gives the scoop. As I'm reading between the lines, I see a traveler's tale that is not so uncommon of others I've heard. When living in a culture that is different from ones own, it's difficult to stay vigilant--to not slide into comfort and think that you're safe when you are being yourself.
These women SHOULD have gotten jail time, no?
Yes, people who live overseas know that if you live in another culture, and the laws are strict, you need to abide by them. In the beginning, that's not so hard. You're caught up in a new culture, new experiences and you're a well-behaved guest. Then, guest status wanes, and you get bored--or complacent-- or horny. Mix in alcohol and there's a recipe for a world of trouble. Sometimes the trouble is so silly, it's hard to believe.
A friend of mine was at the end of three years of living in Saudi Arabia. He was at a party, had a bit to drink, and decided that the Canadian nurse who needed a ride ought to be able to get in the front seat of his car. They were arrested, tossed into prison, and he had no idea what was to become of him, particularly when his head was shaved and he was transported to a jail away from the city. In Saudi Arabia, an unmarried man and woman should not be out in public together. The woman is also not supposed to be in the front seat of a car, no matter who is driving. They were not dating. He was just giving her a ride.
Luckily for my friend, his company got involved. His boss was friends with a Saudi prince. My friend was sprung after two weeks. The Canadian nurse was released also, but "prostitute" was stamped in her passport. My friend can't go back to Saudi Arabia.
In Palmer's case, her company has dumped her since the company's aim is to maintain a good standing in Dubai. That also is not uncommon. If you have troubles overseas, don't expect help. People and companies will usually cut their losses to protect themselves.
Palmer, of course, wants this nightmare to be over and has stated that she's a good person. Of course she is, and I mean this sincerely. The problem is that all beaches are not the same and when you're traveling, keep that in mind.
If you have an urge to have sex, be very, very careful. Sure you have the condom, but that's not all that's needed to have safe sex in all circumstances--particularly if you're female. Notice that so far only Palmer has had her situation flaunted. Only the Canadian nurse was called a prostitute. My friend just lost his hair and that grew back.
The guy has only been mentioned in Palmer's story. All that's known is his name is Vince and he may have made Palmer an honest woman by marrying her.
I hope people get behind Palmer and help her get out of this mess. Since three months is the minimum sentence, I'm hoping she gets lucky.
UPDATE: The man is also being jailed.
Please keep your comments relevant to the topic. All abusive comments will be deleted. -- Ed.
Filed under: Stories, United Arab, United Kingdom, Nightlife, News, Travel Health
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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 13)
Moody75 Jul 9th 2008 1:48PM
Jamie,
It is a pity that a night of partying ended up this way. And I do hope Palmer gets off since people who are at their core good should be allowed second chances when poor decision making occurs.
I would however point out that this is hardly unique to the Arab world (since you mention Saudi and UAE). Case in point includes people in the US being put on sex offender registries (and jail time) for mooning at demonstrations (charged with indecent exposure in public).
As you said, each country has its own laws. Not all of which make sense when applied in certain circumstances.
drbonniejacobson Jul 10th 2008 7:43AM
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Dan Jul 10th 2008 7:49AM
I'm an American living here in Dubai for the past 9 years. Great points by all but there is more to the story - especially thier stupidity! Remember, it was a "Brunch", yep the police statement here said they were snagged mid-day doing the horizontal limbo, then when confronted by the police, she got lippy and copped a major attitude. They are both in the pokey for thier actions as well as probably numerous other charges later.
Emeraties are very tolerant and hospitable, above all, those of us that reside here are guests. It is a wonderful place to live - a true melting pot of cultures living as one - just not on top of each other!
rhiaslu00 Jul 10th 2008 4:50PM
it's not like they just got off the plane! after 3 years there, she should have known the consequences, and should have abided by the law. actually, even if it were not a legal matter, she shouldn't have been doing something so disapproved of by the host country in public--behind closed, locked doors is a diffent matter; but in public, it's just offensive.
as to the sex on the beach, doesn't sand get all over?? getting rid of all the sand is tough even after more sedate activity.
Jamie Rhein Jul 9th 2008 1:50PM
Moody,
Excellent points! Very true.
KARRIE Jul 10th 2008 9:42AM
WHAT`S THE BIG DEAL ABOUT THEM HAVING SEX ON THE BEACH ANYWAYS?? THEY WERE JUST LOOKING TO HAVE SOME FUN AND THEY WERE NOT HURTING ANYONE. I GUESS BEFORE YOU TRAVEL TO DIFFERENT COUNTRIES YOU BETTER LEARN THE LAWS THERE FIRST, I JUST CAN`T BELIEVE THAT SOME OF THESE FOREIGN COUNTRIES ARE SO STRICT!! THAT`S WHY I`LL NEVER LEAVE TO TRAVEL OUTSIDE THE U.S.!! BUT EVERYONE HAS THEIR OWN OPINIONS ABOUT THIS STORY, SOME WILL SAY PEOPLE SHOULDN`T HAVE SEX IN PUBLIC PLACES, AND OF COURSE IF YOU ARE NOT MARRIED TO THAT PERSON YOU WERE HAVING SEX WITH SOME WILL HAVE NEGATIVE REMARKS TO SAY ABOUT THAT TOO!! OH WELL EVERYONE HAS A RIGHT TO THEIR OWN OPINION RIGHT?? DAMN WITH ALL THE MAJOR BULLSHIT GOING ON IN THIS WORLD TODAY PEOPLE HAVE TO MAKE A BIG DEAL OUT OF THIS!! THERE ARE MORE IMPORTANT THINGS TO DEAL WITH SUCH AS WAR, UNEMPLOYMENT, FORCLOSURES ON HOMES, DIVORCE, HATE CRIMES, ETC......
Emma Leigh Jul 10th 2008 12:37AM
I believe that if you decide to visit or live in another country, then you agree to live by their laws. She had been there for 3 years. Certainly she must have known the consequences of her behavior. Get a room for Pete's sake! and, to get drunk - at a BRUNCH - on champagne? pathetic.
Oz Angel Jul 10th 2008 7:38AM
Right on Emma. I can't believe that there are people posting who think the countries laws are asinine and one I read thinks that the people of the United Arab Emirates are wrong to have arrested them??? It only underlines how many low or ZERO standard people there are in the world. When I travel to countries and I do EXTENSIVELY, in my mind I continue to focus on one thought as a mantra... "i am in a stranger's house, how must i behave?" Every country to me is like going into someone's home. "How will I conduct myself?"
steve Jul 10th 2008 2:11PM
Yes, that is pathetic! I prefer to get drunk at breakfast and I prefer gin (although whisky is perfectly acceptable).
Sara Jul 10th 2008 6:43PM
I find it interesting that everyone is so focused on dissecting the morality of her actions. But I think we're missing the big picture...
1. Sanctimonious lectures on morality only serve to demonstrate that you have not walked in someone else's shoes. It shows a narrow band of thinking- ask yourself enough "what if" questions and you can find a reasonable explanation for any action. It may not be correct, but shouldn't we consider the possibility that we are NOT omnicient, that we may not know all the circumstances?
2. As soon as we make stupid mistakes ourselves, don't we want people to give us the benefit of the doubt? If you dropped a plate as a child and broke it, you wouldn't want to hear an adult say that you are obviously careless and you have no respect for other people's property. You'd want them to recognize that it was a mistake. Maybe a stupid one, but it doesn't define you as a person, does it?
A little compassion, people. It can't hurt.
"Keep your words soft and tender, because some day you may have to eat them."
Baron Jul 10th 2008 12:37AM
Hmm... Never thought about that mooning issue, that is very interesting. Why would someone be mooning a demonstration in the first place? I think there are better punishments for that than a sex offenders list, but that just doesn't show a lot of common sense. I do agree that all areas of the word have some very asinine laws.
I would hope that this lady (and her male companion, which makes me wonder, by how the article is presented, if 1) he got in trouble and 2) did she even know the guy in the first place) has "learned her lesson" and they just give her the minimum (though, getting off the hook, in this case, would be best but it sounds like that is basically impossible).
Oz Angel Jul 10th 2008 7:38AM
Arresting people for having sex in a public area is NOT asinine. The people who were having sex a few years ago in St. Patrick's Cathedral in New York were also arrested. Have you ever heard of human decency?
Baron Jul 10th 2008 9:02AM
Oz, where did I say that being arrested for having sex in a public place was asinine? All I said was that I agree on some areas of the world having some asinine laws. For instance, do a quick news searching on Iran + blogging and tell me what you think about that. I call that asinine. In regards to sex in public, yes, arrest them (be it here or anywhere), but even a minimum of 3 months in jail is over board.
Sheynk Jul 10th 2008 12:36AM
She got drunk and went off with some dude to have sex in public in a country that strictly forbids it.
I don't understand the sympathy here... 3 years is enough time to learn laws that most expatriates get lectured on prior to arrival.
Oz Angel Jul 10th 2008 7:38AM
Absolutely!!! You NAILED it!
collin Jul 26th 2008 8:26AM
Sheynk, i am not someone who uses strong words as some who have done in their opinions. But to tell you, Michelle has not been in jail for three years. The article states that she has worked there for three years, she hasn't been serving for three years. but i do agree it is very outrageous to make it as long as three years. i do hope Michelle does get the minimum time of 2 or 3 three months i do believe.
Secret Asian Man Jul 9th 2008 11:28PM
That is a strangely erotic picture.
gothicfreak1990 Jul 10th 2008 3:58PM
yeah it is lol. very erotic
Jim Jul 10th 2008 1:13AM
Not surprised that it's a Brit
Jim Jul 10th 2008 1:15AM
another example of the Brits thinking they can do whatever they want when they want...I know she's not a tourist, but lives there, but it shows the reason the Brits were voted worst tourists...There's a place to have sex in the Middle East and it isn't a beach..have some respect for other countries culture