Awful housing market puts vacation residences in reach

Looking for a vacation home? Well, the time is right! With home seizures hitting a record high, you don’t need to be an infomercial star to realize that prices are headed in your direction. Places that were once wholly unattainable may now almost be in reach, and second homes at nasty places you’d never want to visit (especially regularly enough to have a vacation home there) are moving for pocket lint change.

Last month, 95, 364 homes were seized by banks – a record-setting number (since 2005, when we first started keeping score). Bad loans and unemployment are making the situation worse. So, the time has come for people with deep pockets to take advantage of the less fortunate, a familiar enough refrain throughout human existence. When you close on your new vacation home, though, don’t bring cake for the vanquished: someone will probably get the wrong idea and make a big “thing” of it.

[photo by Casey Serin via Flickr]

Vacation homes and social media worth a million dollars

Did someone mention a travel slump? Second Porch, up in Portland, Oregon, must not have received the memo.

Damned memos.

The new company just picked up $1 million in A-round financing (an early round, for those not of the finance world) which was led by the Oregon Angel Fund. Translation: a few people are making a seven-figure bet on a travel company in a shitty market. And I think it’s pure genius. Now is the time to make a play in the travel market, as there’s nowhere to go but up. Also, Second Porch has a nice social media connection which is not only all the rage with the kids right now (and the Baby Boomers and everyone else, for that matter) but has demonstrated continued potential for the travel and tourism industry.

The premise behind Second Porch is straightforward: these guys want to harness the power of social media to make it easier for you to book a vacation home. The company has put together a free Facebook application – a portal into the vacation home rental process. End-user ease, however, is only part of the plan. Second Porch CEO Brent Hieggelke says, “The typical Facebook personal network comprised of ‘friends of friends’ reaches almost 17,000 people, all of whom can be vouched for by a friend in common. For a homeowner, this is an obvious opportunity to find prospective guests to rent to with a higher level of comfort and peace of mind.”

Right now, Second Porch has only 1,100 fans and 2,450 users … but give it time. A million dollars buys a lot of friends.

Abercrombie & Kent vacation clubs: try before you buy

Let the tough timeshare and vacation club market work to your advantage this year. Upscale travel firm Abercrombie & Kent’s Residence Club is offering two-year trial memberships starting at $18,700 a year for 15 nights – that’s a tad under $1,250 a night. The residences tend to be around 4,000 square feet and have four bedrooms. A&K suggests that you can “even travel with the extended family,” but I’m sure I could find other uses for the extra space (I’m not a fan of traveling with a lot of people, regardless of connection).

Okay, so it’s basically a decent amount of cash for access to some great properties in places like the Turks & Caicos and Deer Valley, Utah. The details, however, make the difference. A&K takes care of airport pickup, grocery shopping before you hit the ground and the other prep activities that could slip your mind when you’re worried about catching planes and disappearing from the “real” world for a few days or weeks. The Global Experience Manager will take care of all this for you, including any unique needs or interests you may have – from a behind-the-scenes private tour of the South Carolina Aquarium’s Turtle Hospital to skiing withOlympic athletes in Sun Valley, Idaho.

“This two-year trial offer is designed for those considering a second home or who simply want an extended opportunity to experience club life before making a long-term commitment,” says Abercrombie & Kent Residence Club President Scott Wiseman. “Families can enjoy the privacy of a spacious home in their choice of popular resort destinations for much less than the cost of comparable hotel suites. Club membership is an affordable, maintenance-free alternative for those thinking about buying a second home.”

Under this trail program, you can play without having to drop any cash up front. Instead, you pay the normal dues with a 10 percent premium. If you join later, A&K will credit it to your capital contribution. Fifteen-, 30- and 45-night programs are available, so you can choose your level of decadence. If you choose, you can exchange your nights for credit toward other A&K travel, like a cruise in the Galapagos or an African safari.

This is a pretty wild deal – a chance to date a vacation club before marrying it.

Roll with the rich in five easy steps: travel like you’re on the Forbes 400

From peaking through the curtain to first class to eyeing the VIP check-in line at the hotel, travelers are envious creatures. Someone else always has something we want – be it an experience, device or amenity. We fantasize about the perfect travel experiences, wondering what it must be like to [fill in the blank with what you dig most].

Nobody knows how to travel quite like the billionaires on the Forbes 400. Sure, this crowd isn’t hitting hostels, mingling with the locals and doing all the stuff we say we prefer. They’re busy with butlers and maids and yachts and poetry readings (sorry, not joking on this one). You’re not going to get the “genuine” travel experience if you roll like the rich, but who the hell cares? The last thing I’d want is genuine if I had that kind of cash.

Interested in traveling like the insanely wealthy? After the jump, there are five simple steps to running with the big dogs when you tour the world. It’s not nearly as hard as you might think … as long as you have the cash to back it up.

1. Vacation homes are a must
Yes, there’s something to be said for the luxury of a hotel’s best penthouse with butler service, private dining and a special entrance. You don’t want to mix with the proletarians, after all. But, this type of travel means you’re not in control. Eventually, you’ll find boundaries. So, to travel like the insanely rich, buy vacation homes in the places you like best.

2. Yacht or not
Vacation homes are nice, especially when they’re on the water, but you’ll never get away from land. To dart out from your troubles – or a collapsing Ponzi scheme – you need a yacht. Right now, yacht sales are in the tank, so you can get a better price than you may expect. Keep in mind that this is a billionaire‘s game: don’t try to do it on the cheap. If you can’t afford a yacht (or simply don’t want one), you can always explain away your yachtlessness with something about seasickness or a penchant for other vices (like mistresses).

If you do go the yacht route, pimp it out properly. Rupert Murdoch took friends and families on a cruise to Alaska. Just in case that wasn’t enough, his sailboat is decked out with a “technogym,” deep-sea diving equipment and king-sized sleeping cabins.

Do it big.

3. Join a club
Rich people and clubs … crazy. It starts in college, with the likes of Skull and Bones, and by the time these kids become adults, they’re paying ridiculous sums of money just to be allowed to spend money on dinner and drinks. Michael Bloomberg, New York‘s mayor, belongs to the Game Creek Club in Vail, Colorado. The privilege involves a $50,000 initiation fee, but I imagine the grub is fantastic.

4. Have the right friends
Again, Mayor Mike does it right, golfing with Ross Perot and Silvio Berlusconi. They’re both unbelievably wealthy and turned to politics after amassing fortunes in the technology/media space. When you’re that rich, you need to travel with people like you. So, be prepared to trade in your old friends – it’s nothing personal.

5. Do weird stuff
We all know that billionaires are crazy. So, when you travel, you can’t resign yourself to sightseeing, beach-sitting and cocktail-sipping. You have to do something bizarre … because you can. Stephen Spielberg attended a cliff-side poetry reading on Ireland’s Aran Islands before touring the moors on a motorized bike. Oracle chief Larry Ellison prefers speed, flying around in a MiG 29.

Where have all the timeshares gone?

I know there are a handful of people out there who have taken the bait: just sit through a short, two-hour presentation, and we’ll pay for your trip to luxurious-fill-in-the-blank-destination. Well, more and more of you are saying “no” this year. Timeshare sales are expected to fall 30% this year, following the glory days of 2004 to 2008.

Until last year, everything looked great for the timeshare business. Sales did fall 8.5% in 2008, the first downward turn since the industry came into existence in 1975. But, maintenance fees stayed under control (increasing from $471 to $646 from 2004 to 2008), and sale prices surged around 30% from $15,790 in 2004 to $20,152 in 2008. Last year, $10.6 billion in timeshares were sold.

So, with the timeshare pitchers facing their worst year in more than three decades, no might be a decent time to sit through one of those “information sessions.” If you want to go back to the same place on vacation every year, you’ll probably be able to squeeze a bit of extra savings out of them!