Aussies beware: government won’t help you

“If you’re too dumb or idle to read the travel advisories … then you ought to take responsibility for your own behaviour,” says former Australian foreign affairs minister Alexander Downer.

And, he has a point. If you roll the dice, you have to be ready to lose … even if you get lucky sometimes.

Australian tourists outside their homeland have been getting into trouble lately – be it because of stolen bar mats or travel to war-torn countries. It’s hard not to respect any sense of adventure, but part of growing that testicular fortitude is knowing that you’re on your own. Downer was shocked to learn that he was “responsible” for every Australian abroad … not to mention being responsible for “their own stupidity.”

Downer says that Australians overseas are subject to special laws … and they are not laws from Australia. The lesson from down under applies anywhere. Leave your home turf, and you really should understand the laws of the land you’re about to explore.

Naval officer finishes flight in restraints

Something happened between Melbourne, Australia and London, England. A Lieutenant Commander from Canberra “became rowdy” in the sky and “accosted” another passenger. The details of the encounter were not revealed, but the Sydney Morning Herald reports that it involved a scuffle, landed the sailor in restraints and ended with arrest when the plane touched down at Heathrow Airport.

During the flight, the crew was able to subdue the naval officer to keep him from further scuffling with other passengers. What the team in the sky began, Metropolitan Police finished, when they took the 57-year-old into custody in London.

Apparently, the alleged perp was said to be “behaving oddly.”

Beware Australia’s “Ninja Kangaroo”

Kangaroos just don’t look that threatening. Perhaps it’s because they carry their offspring in a pouch. Or the fact they move around by hopping up and down. But if you think kangaroos don’t have a mean streak in them, you’d be wrong. One night when you least expect it, clandestine marsupials will come smashing through your bedroom window, ready to terrorize you and everything you care about. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

It’s a lesson Australian couple Beat Ettlin and Verity Beaman recently learned the hard way. The couple, who live in the suburb of Canberra with their two children, were fast asleep recently when they were awakened by the sound of their dogs barking. Suddenly a dark silhouette burst through their bedroom window, shattering glass everywhere and landing on the bed.

By the time the startled Beat and Verity had realized the rogue intruder was a kangaroo, the frightened animal had crushed one side of their bed and smeared blood up and down the family’s hallway, terrifying the family’s two young children. In a fit of valor, Mr. Ettlin pounced on the six-foot tall kangaroo from behind, wrestling it to the floor and dragging it out the family’s front door.

The whole scene is best summed up in Mr. Ettlin’s own words: “I thought it was a lunatic ninja coming at us through the window.” Thankfully this particular ninja did not come equipped with deadly throwing stars or nunchucks. Just a furry pouch.

[Via Buzzfeed]