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Nov 21st 2009 7:04PM Long-distance relationships are tough under the best of circumstances, requiring great trust and devotion of both parties. You really need to know you're meant for each other to put yourselves through the challenges of a long-distance relationship. So how do you know? I've done tons of research on compatibility, which at the end of the day is at the heart of any relationship and your ability to keep it together or, for that matter, to want to keep it together. The best thing I've read on the subject of compatibility is Hayden Dane's brief e-book, "I Have One Question," available at www.haydendane.com
Unlike lots of other author who suggest you have to enjoy common activities and the like, which is a bit obvious and at some level superficial, Dane claims that admiration lies at the heart of long-term compatibility. Specifically, long-term compatibility is likely if you admire in your partner what he/she admires about himself/herself. It makes a ton of sense when you read his book, and I use the conversation he suggests in screening potential dates/partners.
So, if you can have the conversation Dane describes in his book and afterward conclude that you have long-term compatibility with the individual with whom you are involved, then give a long-distance relationship with that special someone a go. But if you don't have that long-term compatibility, why put yourself through the considerable effort?