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NASA Tells Us Why The World Won't End With The Mayan Calendar Next Week {Gadling}
Dec 17th 2012 2:36AM As we all now know, the End of Times starts the 21st at 0:01 am sharp. Since I'm but a simple sailing bum who has been known to swear, drink rum, lust in my heart after scantily clad women with heaving bosoms and even took the Lord's name in vain that time I got my finger caught between a turning block that blew out in a gale gust and a back spinning failed winch (not wench), I'm pretty sure I'll be left behind.
The good news is that I'll be glad to take care of all your precious worldly possessions, which of course you can't take with you when you of the SEML, as those of the pure and innocent souls, are spinning off up into space. Please immediately send me appropriate conveyances of all your really good stuff so I can catalogue each item properly. Well found, heavily built sailboats, gold, silver and jewels are priorities. (Your cash, stock and tax free municipals won't be of any consequence.) You don't want just anyone on the street putting their grimy little fingers on your precious items. You want someone who has the ability to appreciate them.
The second bit of good news is that the 21st begins at 180 degrees west longitude, which, because of some unusual treaty is the Island of Tonga which actually lies east of 180 degrees. (Don't ask me, I ain't no International law expert.) Incidentally 180 east and 180 west are the same line. Weird, no?
This being said, we here in America can sit on our verandahs sipping juleps under the shade of the live oaks, festooned with Spanish moss and the magnolias, still in magnificent bloom at the Coast, enjoying the wafting scent of gardenias, pull out a small TV and watch the world end in succession of time zones.
Thus you can see the necessity of quick action. You only have two weeks to get all the paper work to me. Get a move on, people. And remember, I'm only thinking of you.
"Nonentity" Kate Middleton Bullied at Boarding School {AOL Royal Wedding}
Apr 4th 2011 2:26PM It just goes to show you should be nice to everyone. One day they might be in a position to help you when you need it. People will ALWAYS remember how you treated them.
Winged Migration {MyDaily}
Feb 27th 2011 10:47AM Geese are excellent barbecued. Just eat yourself into a solution. In the South there is a barbecue pit or two in even the smallest town. For a modest fee the owner will smoke yours to culinary perfection.
Was Alexander Hamilton President? {Holidash News}
Feb 21st 2011 10:20AM I'm of the opinion that the only reason we got a favorable treaty out of the War of 1812 was not by anything Adams did but because Napoleon was running amuck in Europe and England needed all its power turned east to defeat him. That's not to speak against Adams but we hardly had the material or navy to defeat an otherwise unoccupied England. Remember that our greatest victory, the Battle of New Orleans, came thirty days after the Treaty of Paris was signed.
Zapped -- Why Your Technology Is (Really) Bad for Your Health {Lemondrop}
Oct 18th 2010 8:28AM The author may have good intentions but her cause and effect relationships do not follow logic. Most of her statements fall into the falicy of, "Post hoc, ergo propter hoc."
She uses the, "For years I drank green tea in the mornings and now I've now gone bald" sort of reasoning.
Georgia Woman Charged Extra by Nail Salon for Being Overweight {BV on Beauty}
Aug 30th 2010 2:52AM Say what you will, it's still simply a matter of calories in, calories out. Burm more calories than you consume and you WILL loose weight. No one ever saw a picture of a fat person at a prisoner of war camp or the refugee camps in Somalia and Sudan.
Architectural Wonders of the United States {AOL Travel News}
May 20th 2010 2:42PM My entire post didn't make it through. I don't understand why it would need to open more than 90 degrees. Any more would seem useless.
Architectural Wonders of the United States {AOL Travel News}
May 20th 2010 2:39PM I don't understand why it would need to pivot more than 180degrees.<
Architectural Wonders of the United States {AOL Travel News}
May 20th 2010 2:26PM For well over a hundred years there was an aesthetically pleasing swing span bridge over the Tennessee River at Decatur, Alabama. It was recently replaced by a less attractive lift span for reasons not well understood by the public.
Best places to retire: with so many lists, here's how to decide {WalletPop}
Apr 21st 2010 5:46PM Say what you will, it's never the place, it's always the people. Go there. Spend some time getting to know the locals. Then decide.
