Design of New U.S. Passport {Gadling}

Oct 29th 2008 10:02AM I am proud to be an American, proud to be a man, proud to be white, proud to be the son of rich parents, and proud to have the size where it matters. These are all my personal accomplishments, so I am proud to be proud of them.

People who do not like the new design and publicly say so should all move to France or its neighboring countries like Iran or Sweden. God knows I'm a tolerant person, but as every good American I am sickened by freedom of speech where I see it used inappropriately.

Abroad, every true American used to be plainly distinguishable as such by his enormous obesity. Now the unpatriotic scrawny dildos will at least be identified as Americans by their passport immediately. But of course you nay-sayers don't even look at these aspects, you're too obsessed with being anti-American, living in your own tiny world, not seeing the bigger picture. And I would proudly die if Osama bin Laden captured me because of my passport and gave me an anthrax enema.

God bless this great country and smite its foes!