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Galley Gossip: A flight attendant Christmas story {Gadling}
Dec 25th 2010 2:07PM Love it.
I am off Xmas this year too. NYC based - isn't it great being senior?
But I've worked most Xmas holidays.
One of my favorite things to do when flying Xmas eve, is to imitate Santa over the airplane's PA for all the kids.
I have the FAs gather all the names of the children on board. Then using two microphones (the handset for me, and the oxygen mask mic for "Santa",) I'd engage in this conversation over the PA:
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Me: Ah, ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, looks like we are still arriving on time. Air traffic control has reported Santa Clause in our airspace and we going to try and contact him over the radio.......please standby.
[Wait for passing airplane with flashing lights to go by]
Me: Santa Clause, this is flight 1104, come in. We have you in sight, passing on our right.
"Santa": Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas. I have you in sight flight 1104. I can see all the children through your windows. There's Johnny, Stacey, Billy, Lisa,....(etc, as I name off all the kids from the collected names)."
Me: Roger Santa, have a safe flight. Over.
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Usually, the children stayed glued to the windows for about 15 minutes afterwards.
Galley Gossip: Goodies for the crew {Gadling}
May 26th 2010 1:31PM Can I place sn order?
14 White Castle cheeseburgers please!
And a diet Coke.
Thanks.
Galley Gossip: Attention All Nippon Airway passengers, please empty your bladders now! {Gadling}
Oct 7th 2009 4:12PM
The old lady's bra was unhooked?
Perhaps she was in the lav joining the mile high club.
And all your talking must have been distracting, spoiling the moment.
At least she finished in the lav in time for the other lady to get some serious reading done.
Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight {Gadling}
Sep 2nd 2009 12:53PM And would that also be the same Boeing who sees nothing wrong with using a fake part from a subcontractor's subcontractor made in china?
I guess that would be the same once great Boeing who is outsourcing more and more work each year.....to foreign countries.....many of which are unfriendly to US interests....and have dubious records of quality in manufacturing.....in order to pay higher management bonuses.
I'm just trying to keep you safe. That's my job. Other parties aren't exactly helping.
Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight {Gadling}
Sep 2nd 2009 12:39PM Would that be the same FAA who 10 years ago said in a televised press conference that Valuejet [now Airtran] was up to snuff after Valuejet had a long series of incidents, accidents, and violations..................only to have Valuejet crash into a swamp killing everyone on board a few weeks later?
Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight {Gadling}
Sep 2nd 2009 12:00PM Careful!
Using a maxipad to aborb condensation is not a FAA approved procedure.
The FAA can fine you up to $10000 per flight for each violation, costing your airline millions of dollars. Furthermore, they can ground your fleet of maxipad planes, which will cause havoc with your airline's schedule and cost millions more.
That is unless you are Southwest. Then it's OK. Once again, the FAA is letting Southwest slide on the rules. As far as the FAA is concerned, SW can use unauthorized parts, be it maxipads or metal. For instance, as most of you have seen in the news, the FAA is presently letting Southwest use un-approved engine exhaust heat sheilds rather than ground those affected planes. But hey, it's no big deal. The heat sheilds only protect the fuel tanks in the wing from getting hot enought to explode. Not like that is a major safety concern, right?
So watch where you put those maxipads.
Except for Southwest.
Again.
(no, I'm not joking)
Galley Gossip: Passenger of the month - Lorna Brett Howard {Gadling}
Jun 17th 2009 9:15AM OH MY GOD.....JULIA ROBERTS !!!!!!!!!
Galley Gossip: A question about dating pilots - gay pilots. {Gadling}
Jun 17th 2009 9:02AM I am not a gay pilot......but I do know how to dress myself without looking like a complete dork.....and wouldn't be caught dead drinking white zinfandel.
I'd say good places to meet pilots, outside of the airport, are:
1. The golf course
2. An Irish pub in Paris or Rome
3. National rifle association meeting
4. Repulican convention
5. Home depot
6. Airport hotel gym with rusty eqiupment
7. Airport hotel bar with depressing mauve decor from the 1980s.
8. Showroom floor at a GMC dealership.
9. JC Penny's men's clothing section near a rack selling pleated khaki dockers
But then again, the above mentioned places would not likely yield a gay pilot.....unless he is a "bear."
There are gay pilots out there, but yes, they keep a low profile.
It's hard enough for pilots to admit they secretly vote for pro-labor Democrats, let alone come out of the closet.
;-)
Galley Gossip: Slam clickers, Bob the singing pilot & Laughlin, Nevada {Gadling}
May 4th 2009 5:30PM
You're one of "THEM" Heather?
A slam clicker? I had no idea. But it is understandable, as you have a little kid at home, have to commute, and have short layovers. Domestic flying.......yeeeech! Blah! ;-(
Just tell me if you picked up a Paris trip that you wouldn't slam click, OK!
The recent trip where I recorded this song had a rare 75 hour Paris layover as part of an 8 day rotation. A mini-vacation! Kinda sorta. Depends on one's outlook. Perhaps mine is warped! Most US airline's European layovers are about 24 hours. Eight day trips go junior. Good. I want them! I bid the longest international layovers I can get. But I am a DINK. If I had kids at home....I'd fly even more! Ha!
Anyway...
How not to slam click on an 8 day trip with a 75 hour Paris layover:
Day 1 - Commute to work. Sit around a few hours in crew lounge. Fly all night to Paris and..
Day 2 - Arrive mid morning. 90 minute bus ride to hotel through Paris traffic. Nap. Awake. See French things and do French stuff. Visit Sacre Couer and have a great dinner at nearby restaurant where no tourists are. Go to crew room and bid trip trades in order to try to un-screw up next month's schedule. Sleep.
Day 3 - Cafe breakfast. Walk through foggy gardens near Eiffel Tower. Fly plane back to US. Go out for a nice dinner.
Day 4 - Awake. Rent mountain bike. Ride to favorite cafe. Then bike on mountain foothill trails. Nap. Depart US in evening, fly all night, arrive Paris at 10:30am next day.
Day 5 - Get to hotel, take power nap for a few hours. Wake up, meet crew, go have a wonderful dinner at Parisian restaurant. Attempt to settle up 380 Euro bill. Go to Pont du Nuef bridge where everybody is sitting around having a party. Find local musicians and join in. Go to night club, Caveau des Oubliettes - aka The Guillotine Bar, and play an open jam session on stage.....after being triple dog dared by flight attendants and other pilot. Go back to hotel. Sleep like a corpse.
Day 6 - Awake early. Meet other crew members. Take train 1.5 hours to Champagne region. Tour Moet Cellars. Sample champagne. Take picture of Dom Perignon statue. Rent bikes. Pedal through vineyards and villages of the Champagne Valley countryside. Buy half case of champagne at mom & pop winery and attempt to fasten it to bike. Success, it didn't fall off and break! Return to Paris. Go to great restaurant again. Sleep like a zombie.
Day 7 - Take bus to Normandy and tour D-Day beaches, museum, and US cemetery. Gain great appreciation for the sacrifice and bravery of our soldiers who landed at Normandy in WWII. Eat dinner at gas station on 3 hour bus ride back to Paris. Sleep like a coma patient.
Day 8 - Awake. Go to cafe and eat breakfast on sidewalk. Stroll through gardens under Eiffel tower. Return to hotel, put on monkey suit, get "gate raped" by French TSA, spend 90 minutes setting up airplane, fly it 10 hours back to the US. Commute home on third attempt. Take week off.
http://www.myspace.com/maddoggydog777
Bad Airline Mangement Theme Song:
http://vids.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=vids.showvids&friendID=348703324&n=348703324
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Bowermaster's Antarctica -- Crossing the Scotia Sea {Gadling}
Feb 17th 2009 2:39PM Very cool blog.
Both literally and figuratively.
Love the photos.
Hope to go there someday.
