Continue reading Galley Gossip: 5 tips for getting through airport security quickly

Galley Gossip: 5 tips for getting through airport security quickly originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 17 Nov 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Hi Heather,

I listened to your Frommers podcast recently and found it very funny. I especially liked your comments about people's attitudes to flying and the bit about control freaks. It made me realize what I've suspected for some time which is that I am a control freak, especially when flying!

My last trip a couple of weeks ago I ended up shouting halfway up the plane at another passenger who got up to stroll to the toilets when the seat belt signs were on. They were the latest in a line of many and had also stopped to have a little chat with their mates on the way back. Being British I get a bit huffy about people not following instructions, I think it's a national quirk, and, normally being British I might just have carried on muttering to the lady next to me along the lines of "Well really, can people not read, what's the point of putting the signs on, what are the crew doing about it, nothing etc etc". But it was a miserable flight in economy on Continental across the Atlantic and the fact that I'd unexpectedly just had to pay 5$ for a bottle of white wine vinegar was doing nothing to improve my temper.

I'd like to report that the effect of my outburst was instantaneous, that the guilty party sat down and no one else got up. Sadly she just shouted back "I'll go to the toilet when I want to, thank you VERY much." Everyone between her and me on the flight went quiet and I just felt like a right idiot. I bought another bottle of white wine vinegar and fumed quietly for a bit, half wishing we'd hit a bit of turbulence next time someone got up when the signs were on, "to teach them a lesson." How sad is that! Next time I'll do as you suggest and try and relax more!

Regards,

Marie B.


Dear Marie,

Your letter cracked me up and now you've got me thinking that I may have been British in a past life or something because I, too, am a bit of a rule follower. Nothing drives me crazier than a passenger who thinks they're exempt from following the rules. Really, how many times do I have to ask someone to turn off the electronic device before takeoff? Hello, Mr. Exit Row, I know what you're doing all bent over like that with your head crammed between your knees. Do ya really think that I think you're whispering to the floor? Please, do me a favor and don't make tap, tap, tap you in front of your seatmates who are now giving you the evil eye. I mean really!

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Enforcing rules in flight!

Galley Gossip: Enforcing rules in flight! originally appeared on Gadling on Thu, 12 Nov 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Heather,

Yesterday the flight attendants got terrible news at US Airways. THREE base closures. Mine included. In all these years, I've never commuted. And now, gone early next year: BOS, LGA and LAS. We got the news in the crew room. Some of the senior girls started to tear up. One cried, "I have thirty years, I've never commuted." The base is closing and we didn't even receive any information on base transfers, voluntary furloughs, whether or not we can keep our parking lot space, bidding packets from the other bases and seniority lists to help make a decision. Any tips? Prayers? An Article to educate us newbies?

Sincerely,

In shock

Dear in shock,

I'm sorry to hear about the unfortunate news. I understand why you and your colleagues are frustrated and upset. Honestly, I'm not sure which is worse, your airline closing three bases or the fact that they did not alert employees until the last minute, only to do so with little to no information. These are your lives we're talking about, not just base closures! While commuting is not always easy, it is doable, and chances are you might even become a better flight attendant because of it. I know I did. First, here's the prayer you're looking for. And now for a few tips...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Advice for the employees of US Airways

Galley Gossip: Advice for the employees of US Airways originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 06 Nov 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Continue reading Galley Gossip: A memorable flight for a first time flier

Galley Gossip: A memorable flight for a first time flier originally appeared on Gadling on Thu, 29 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Last week a producer from ABC Nightline News contacted me about doing a story on the laviators - THE LAVIATORS! I know, it's weird, I can't believe it myself. But one of their corespondents actually happened across my blog after surfing around Youtube where they found people doing all sorts of bizarre things in airplane bathrooms. Of course I asked if he'd seen my video, 25 ways to use a maxi pad in flight, but he had not, so I emailed it to him right away. What he had seen, it turns out, was Michelle's funny laviator music video featured below.

"Michelle really stepped it up a notch," the producer said matter of fact over the phone.

"That she did!" I agreed. Then I added, "She's also the one responsible for getting the word 'laviator' into the urban dictionary! Now if only we can get the word 'lavatar,' as in a laviator avatar, in there as well."

The producer laughed, and then went on to describe the club as "hysterically weird" and asked what might compel someone to take pictures of themselves in the lavatory.

Honestly, I'm still trying to figure that one out myself, and I'm the first official laviator! Although I'm pretty sure it has something to do with boredom. Or maybe it's just exciting to do something a little risque - and weird - on an airplane. Then again, it could be all of the above. Who knows. All I know for sure is the end result is fun.

After pitching his story idea, the producer assured me he'd be back in touch. That was over a week ago and I still haven't head from him. Well that got me thinking. Let's have a best of the best laviator photo contest!

Gallery: Laviators: The best of the best

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Laviators - the best of the best contest!

Galley Gossip: Laviators - the best of the best contest! originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 23 Oct 2009 10:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Can an average Joe date a flight attendant?

Galley Gossip: Can an average Joe date a flight attendant? originally appeared on Gadling on Wed, 21 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

News.com.au

It did not come as a surprise to read about the passenger who had been caught stealing liquor, because I've come across quite a few sticky fingers myself over the years squatting in front of an unmanned cart or walking out of the galley with minis hanging out of their pockets. Yes, I made them put it back! What shocked me about the whole thing was the fact that the passenger actually tried to flush those aluminum cans down the toilet! Seriously, that's crazy!

Once, years ago, on a Sun Jet International flight, a passenger decided an hour before landing that a fire extinguisher would make a wonderful souvenir. Somehow, I don't know how, she managed to stuff the large red bottle inside a duffel bag and hide it under the seat in front of her, and she did it without anyone seeing her do so. The extinguisher only found its way back into the metal brackets behind the last row of coach after we, the crew, made several PA's threatening to search every bag on board the airplane, which happened after we made a few other PA's about not allowing anyone deplane until the fire extinguisher was returned - no questions asked. Not too long ago a passenger lo and behold "found" an egg McMuffin just sitting on my jump seat and figured it was for the taking. If the guilty one had not already bitten into my breakfast sandwich I would have snatched it back. I can't even tell you the number of times my magazines and books have disappeared right out of my tote bag. People do crazy things on airplanes.

Now back to the beer-drinking-aluminum-can flushing idiot who didn't have to steal the liquor which resulted in an arrest and probably a fine that was much higher than the price of an adult beverage. Really, there are ways to get free alcohol without causing an in flight disturbance, ya know. Oh sure it depends on the crew and the airline and what's going on that day, but here are a few ways to increase your chances...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: How to get free beer in flight

Galley Gossip: How to get free beer in flight originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 16 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Most of the time it's a passenger making a strange request, but this time it's an airline and that airline is implementing one wacky new policy. It wants you to pee before you fly. As of October 1, 2009, All Nippon Airways (ANA), a Japanese Airline, is asking its passengers to empty their bladders before boarding a flight, and they're doing so in the guise of going green. Now I'm all for being green, I even carry my own eco friendly refillable water bottle along with me on trips, but setting up signs at the airport and hiring "loo-attendants" to remind people to use the bathroom is kind of crazy, don't ya think? ANA believes a lighter aircraft will result in lower fuel use which in return will create a reduction in carbon emissions.

Perhaps All Nippon is on to something. It's been rumored that American Airlines saved $40,000 in 1987 when they removed one olive - ONE OLIVE! - from each salad in first class. Can you imagine how much money will be saved if every single passenger on board a full flight uses the loo before take-off? According to the Dailymail.co.uk, the average human bladder capacity is 15oz, which means if 150 passengers relieved themselves that would total to 63.7kg of waste. That's 140 pounds, people! That doesn't even count the amount of money the airline stands to save on toilet paper. Now does anyone know how much an olive weighs?

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Attention All Nippon Airway passengers, please empty your bladders now!

Galley Gossip: Attention All Nippon Airway passengers, please empty your bladders now! originally appeared on Gadling on Wed, 07 Oct 2009 08:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

I'm the type of person who usually waits until the last second to pull something together, which is why I almost always end up feeling insecure about my costume, a crap costume, which only leads to a miserable night out - that is if I even go out! It all depends on just how crappy the crap costume actually ends up.

But this year I've decided to do things a little differently and embrace the holiday season. I'm going to dress up in something I've planned out well in advance. What that costume may be I still don't know, but my three year-old knows that he's going as Captain Hook and wants me to dress up as Tinkerbell. Not a chance. Thankfully there's still plenty of time to figure it out.

Now if you're like me, you're looking for a costume that's easy to throw together and inexpensive. So why not live out your inner fantasy and dress up as me - a flight attendant! Think about it, you'll be able to deliver drinks and do the pointy-point all night long. Oh you know you want to!

Last year at this exact same time I came across an interesting post from Jennine (that's her in the photo) who has a fantastic fashion blog called The Coveted. Imagine my surprise when I spotted her dressed up as a stewardess for Halloween, a fantastic get up she created by using clothing from her very own closet.

Continue reading Galley Gossip: How to create a flight attendant Halloween costume

Galley Gossip: How to create a flight attendant Halloween costume originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 06 Oct 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

It happened a few seconds after the Captain on my flight from Miami to New York introduced himself and then asked if I had brewed a pot of coffee. I had, in fact. I always do whenever I'm working the galley. I poured him a cup and told him my name as we boarded a full flight on a 757.

After taking a sip, he whipped off his hat and hung it on a hook against the back of the cockpit door. Nonchalantly he said, "Did you hear about the bomb threat today?"

Immediately I stopped counting meals, chicken with rice and cheese tortellini, and spun around to face him. "What happened?"

"A flight attendant found a note in the lavatory. It said there was a bomb on board the flight." And with that he was gone, too busy chatting away with a mechanic who had stepped into the cockpit.

Of course the first thing that came to mind when the pilot uttered those two oh-so-innocent words, "flight attendant", was oh no, please don't let it be a flight attendant who wrote the note. The next thing I thought was, I wonder if the crew was on reserve.

The only reason I suspected the crew was because something similar had happened a few years back. Even in that case, so many years ago, when I heard on the news that the flight attendant under investigation had been on reserve when she left a note in the lav, I had to laugh. Just because being on reserve does make one a little bit crazy. At times. But usually not that crazy, not bomb writing crazing of course!

When I mentioned to a friend, and lawyer, what had happened on the American Airlines flight from Boston to Miami, as well as whom I hoped the suspects would not turn out to be, he said, "Tell me, how does 'we will get fired' 'we will go to prison' get left out of the thought process before writing that kind of note?"

Good question.

Then I reminded him, as well as myself, that the flight attendants in question are innocent until proven guilty.

Two days later I am now unhappy to report that what I had prayed would not be the case seems to be kinda-sorta happening. The crew is now officially under investigation. The details are as follows...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Flight attendants under investigation for bomb threat

Galley Gossip: Flight attendants under investigation for bomb threat originally appeared on Gadling on Sat, 03 Oct 2009 13:00:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

The first thing I thought when I heard about the new flight attendant show called Fly Girls was, why didn't they ask me! Not that I really want to be on a reality show. It's just...well...it would have been kind of nice to have been asked.

The second thing I thought was, I wonder if any of the "fly girls" are guys? Because guys do fly, and that Virgin America flight attendant over there, the one donning the inflatable yellow life vest, is lookin pretty fly to me. I'm just saying...

The third thing I thought was, oh no. Because whenever flight attendants are in the spotlight it's rarely a good thing. People seem to have a love hate relationship with flight attendants. Actually, it's more of a love to hate type of relationship. Don't believe me? Just go and read a few of the comments the Galley Gossip post flight attendant pet peeve #1, answer please! generated.

Just last week I read about Dave Vontesmar, a flight attendant who drives over 30 miles from his home in Phoenix to the Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport while wearing a monkey mask. He does this in order to illegally pass through the photo-enforcement gantlet on Interstate 17. Vontesmar truly believes the DPS is required to identify the driver of the vehicle, not just the vehicle, so he's fairly confident he won't have to pay the fines that the monkey mask wearer, whoever that may be, accumulated for 37 violations, an amount that could easily rack up to over $6,500.

Of course the first thing I thought when I read that story was, what if passengers wore monkey masks on board our planes? Would they, too, be exempt from following the rules. Of course this only reminded me of the time I actually had a monkey on board my flight. She sat in business class and was one of the most well behaved passengers I've ever met. But that's another story.

This story is about Flight attendants and how we, flight attendants, already have a bad rap. Not that some of us don't deserve it, because Dave and his monkey mask are a big part of the problem. I'm just saying, do we really need a reality show that could possibly make us look even worse? Because you know there will be drama. You know there will be sex. And you know this show is going to be a huge hit! Don't believe me? One of the executive producers is Colin Nash. Name doesn't ring a bell? Perhaps you've heard of one of his other shows, The Hills?

Here's what Mike Bruno of EW.com had to say about the show...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Fly Girls, a flight attendant docu-series airing soon

Galley Gossip: Fly Girls, a flight attendant docu-series airing soon originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 25 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

It's been a long time since I've read a book I couldn't put down. In fact, your book, Time of my Life, made me wish my commuter flight from New York to Los Angeles would never end. It's that good! With heavy issues like abandonment, divorce, escape and fate, what inspired you to write the book?

Well, I'd been contemplating doing a time-travel story, but I wasn't quite sure how to go about it. I mentioned it to my agent, and I think she was deeply perplexed by both the idea and me! But I didn't know how to sort it out in my mind. But then one afternoon while the idea was brewing, my best friend called while she was on vacation where her ex-boyfriend lived, and she said, "I'm so weirded out...I can't stop thinking about what my life might have been like."

Then we had one of those intimate life conversations that you can only have with your closest friends, about her what-ifs and my what-ifs, and I assured her that this was all very normal, even though people didn't really talk about how much they wonder about what could have been. We hung up, and I headed out for a run, and BAM...the idea, characters and plotlines just presented themselves very clearly. I came home, wrote what are now the first 14 pages, and sent them off to my agent, who flipped for them. I think, as so many of us get older and look back on our younger years with nostalgia, it's very easy to consider what the other possibilities could have been --and I wanted to explore that.

As a flight attendant, I love my job because it allows me to jump on a plane and go wherever I want whenever I want, as long as there's an open seat available. Just knowing I can travel like that brings a sense of calm to my life. My job also allows for a little "me time" since I'm gone for a few days at a time each month. Women today are so busy working full time jobs and then going home to clean the house, make dinner and take care of others, they have a tendency to forget about themselves. Which is why I believe escape is a popular theme for women and why so many women wonder about what could have been if they had made different choices in life. Have you as a wife, mother, and a New York Time's best selling author, ever wondered - what if?

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Interview with New York Times best selling author Allison Winn Scotch

Galley Gossip: Interview with New York Times best selling author Allison Winn Scotch originally appeared on Gadling on Thu, 24 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

We were in Hawaii at the Ko Olina Beach Club in Oahu when the woman standing in front of the black board asked, "Do you honestly think you travel differently than everyone else? That what you're looking for in a vacation is not what everyone else here wants."

As I glanced at the others staying at the resort, most of whom were either families vacationing with children under the age of five, like myself, or senior citizens enjoying the fruits of their labor, I nodded my head. I do truly believe I travel differently than most people. I'm a flight attendant! And that's what I told her.

Like most flight attendants, when I go on vacation I don't want to stay anywhere that even remotely feels like a layover, which means I'm not a big fan of resort like properties with hundreds of rooms and thousands of guests milling about the pool. Regardless of how pretty that pool may be.

For the record, the pool at the the Ko Olina Beach Club is wonderful. My three year-old couldn't stay out of it. The beach, a man made lagoon, is beautiful, so very relaxing at night under the stars. And the rooms, particularly the villas, are more than comfortable with their sunken tubs, full size kitchens, and a washer and dryer to boot. But that's another story. This story is about how I'm a flight attendant and how flight attendants, not unlike most frequent fliers, do not want to spend their vacations in the same hotel-type room year after year. Even though this was our third year in a row at the resort. It was also the first time we'd agreed to partake in one those vacation club package deals.

Don't ask.

Gallery: Galley Gossip: Hawaii - Ko Olina Beach Club

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Oahu, Hawaii - Ko Olina Beach Club timeshare vacation deal

Galley Gossip: Oahu, Hawaii - Ko Olina Beach Club timeshare vacation deal originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 18 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Silence has strength. Often times silence is more powerful than words. Today I have decided not to remain silent.

That's Terry Thames, an American Airlines pilot, hanging out of the cockpit window. This is the first American Airlines flight returning to Washington Dulles after the skies were reopened four days after 9/11. The photo was featured in the book, Reclaiming the Sky, by Tom Murphy.

I can't stop staring at the photo and thinking about how great it must have felt to have hung that American flag across that airplane when it finally came home. I love that photo. Maybe because it's one of the few taken at that time depicting strength, not sorrow. Which is exactly what many of my colleagues, as well as our passengers, radiated when they walked on board the airplanes and soldiered on days after our world completely changed.

Last year on this very day I wrote a post, 9/11 - That day, about what had happened to me eight years ago and how it still affects my colleagues and I today. The best part about the post were the readers comments, all so full of hope and strength. I didn't want to write another 9/11 post. Really, I didn't. What more could I say? But then how could I not? I'm a flight attendant. If I don't write about it, who will?

A few days ago I logged into Twitter and typed, "We will never forget," and then I pressed send. The message went to @planesofthought, an organization that collects thoughts and turns them into paper airplanes that will cover New York City's skyline to remember the lives lost on 9/11.

After that I wrote, "I'm looking for interesting 9/11 stories. How it may have changed your life in a positive way."

No one answered back. Not one person. The silence was deafening.

Continue reading Galley Gossip: 9/11 - We will never forget

Galley Gossip: 9/11 - We will never forget originally appeared on Gadling on Fri, 11 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Dear Heather,

Dear Jack,

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Flight attendant Pam Ann now on tour!

Galley Gossip: Flight attendant Pam Ann now on tour! originally appeared on Gadling on Wed, 09 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

THE TRIP:

"You're going to need at least twenty years seniority to hold that!" three different flight attendants informed me.

Undeterred, and with only fourteen years at the airline, I bid for it anyway. Not only did I hold it, I held the princess position - coach aisle! As soon as bids were finalized I sent out a tweet to announce the big news. Two seconds later someone tweeted back, "Want to meet for breakfast?"

The invitation came from mommy blogger extraordinaire, Debbie, of Deliciousbaby.com. If you have kids and love to travel, but would rather skip the Disney vacation, do yourself a favor and check out her blog. She makes traveling with kids enjoyable and easy.

And that's how the layover began. I met Debbie, as well as two of her three adorable kids, for breakfast at Belle Epicurean, a charming spot known for their freshly baked pastries and buns. As I sat outside waiting for Debbie to arrive, I couldn't help but notice all the people popping in and out before heading off to work. Not that I was surprised, considering I'd done a little research early that morning and knew the place was going to be great. I also knew exactly what to order - a potato rosemary brioche bun ($3.89). It did not disappoint. Of course the coffee was fantastic, as well. The company, even better!

Everest, a bright four year-old, has a passion for trains, so he could not hide his excitement when I asked about his favorite thing to do in Seattle. If not for him, I wouldn't have known about the ride on the rail to Sea-Tac airport starting in December. After Everest told me all about the underground train system, he offered to take me on a little tour...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: Seattle - it's all about kids, trains and food!

Galley Gossip: Seattle - it's all about kids, trains and food! originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 08 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Dear Heather,

Continue reading Galley Gossip: A question about "flight attendant training schools"

Galley Gossip: A question about "flight attendant training schools" originally appeared on Gadling on Thu, 03 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

So there I sat at La Guardia airport in New York inside flight service operations, relaxing in a beat up, reclining chair, not watching the weather channel on the screen in front of me. I'd been sitting there for hours due to the fact it was my turn to serve standby. For those of you who aren't familiar with airline lingo, standby is a term used when flight attendants on reserve are required to spend three to six hours, depending on the airline, at the airport just sitting around and waiting to be called out to work a flight in case someone doesn't show up at the last minute. At my airline, this happens once or twice every reserve month.

On that particular day Sean sat in the recliner beside me. He'd been cracking me up since the moment I'd sat down. Now I've written about Sean in the past. In fact, he was the lead flight attendant, the one in charge, in the Galley Gossip post about a child who had gotten lost in first class. At some point our conversation turned serious and Sean shared a story about a medical emergency that forced him to become quite resourceful and do something that impressed me greatly. He used a maxi pad as a bandaid.

"You're brilliant, Sean. You really are. I would have never thought of doing something like that," I said, and that's when it hit me, "hey, we should make a list of all the different ways we could use a maxi pad in flight!" We didn't make the list, but we did laugh about it.

Flash forward three months later. On a flight to Los Angeles, I walked into the galley, looked up, and saw it - a maxi pad shoved between two ceiling panels. It was there to soak up condensation that would otherwise drip on me. Right then and there I knew I had to make the list, and with the help of my crew, flight attendants who never cease to amaze me, we came up with 20 unique ways to use a maxi pad in flight. The list was so good, we just had to make a video...

Continue reading Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight

Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 01 Sep 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Dear Airline,


I remember the first day we met. It was love at first flight. We've shared countless hours together- oh the places we've gone. It's been bumpy at times, but I always stuck up for you when people called you old and grumpy. I even stuck by you when you dropped service to Providence, my home town! But lately something has changed. You don't treat me the way you used to. You started charging me for every little thing, even the things we used to enjoy for free. And now when I fly you, you seem to always be tired and give out on me before we even get anywhere. You've even gotten skimpy with the meals.

Well now there's someone else. I won't lie. Why you ask? Because she's not falling apart. Her meals aren't as good as yours, and sometimes I really DO miss your salty nuts, but the temptation is there. I know what you're thinking, it's that she can offer me the updated MD88 AND the MD90...and you can't! It's true, you're right.

Maybe there's still a chance for us- let's fly it out. How about a day trip together. How about a nice double mad dog Chicago turn on my next day off? Lunch and Dinner on YOU? Maybe some wine? Let me know!

An "ex" frequent flier

Dear "ex" frequent flier,

I'm not the only one who has changed. Putting the blame on me is just so typical. There you sit with your salty nuts moaning and groaning about everything I do, meanwhile you haven't put a hand in your pocket for years. You flew the lap of luxury for the cost of a coach ticket over the last ten years, never once thinking about how I'm always able to give, give, give and never ask for anything in return - other than your loyalty. As with every relationship something has to give!

Continue reading Galley Gossip: A letter from a frequent flyin', two-timin', cheat!

Galley Gossip: A letter from a frequent flyin', two-timin', cheat! originally appeared on Gadling on Tue, 25 Aug 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.

Continue reading Galley Gossip: In-flight emergencies - what are the odds?

Galley Gossip: In-flight emergencies - what are the odds? originally appeared on Gadling on Thu, 20 Aug 2009 09:30:00 EST. Please see our terms for use of feeds.