"Wouldn't it be nice to be served by flight attendants that are actually excited to come to work? Yes, safety training is important. But there is no reason to believe that a fit and alert 29-year-old should perform less safely in an emergency than a weary, overweight 60-year-old." –Bill Frezza, Forbes.com

If you want to talk safety, Bill, let's talk safety. But what's with using "weary" and "overweight" to describe 60-year-old flight attendants? Maybe the point you were trying to make in your article about airline bankruptcy is that new labor is cheap labor. What you've seem to have forgotten is times have changed over the last thirty years and some airlines now deliberately hire older people in an effort to save money on retirement and pensions. And did you know new flight attendants start out making between $14,000-18,000 in the first year? Each year we're given an across-the-board raise with most flight attendants maxing out around the 13-year mark. Flight attendants don't cost the airlines half as much as the airlines would love the flying public to believe.

Going back to safety, Bill, let's ask the passengers on board US Airways flight 1549 how they felt about the crew who evacuated a plane full of 150-plus passengers after the aircraft ditched into the Hudson River. The entire crew of the "Miracle on the Hudson" (including Captain Sullenberger) was over 50, leaning closer to 60. I'd say they did a wonderful job of getting passengers out safely. Personally, I'd be more concerned with my fellow passengers moving quickly than I would be about flight attendants of any age – after all, we are only allowed to work if we can pass a yearly recurrent training program. Passengers just have to buy a ticket.

Now, as for being excited to come to work, it's true that sometimes it's hard to love passengers who verbalize how miserable they feel about flying, especially when these same passengers go on to wonder why we aren't younger and prettier. Last time I checked, flight attendants were people, too. I know it's hard to believe but we, too, are allowed to grow old just like passengers. I'm talking to you, Bill!

But Bill is not alone.

1. Saturday Night Live: Flight Announcement (staring Kristen Wiig and Megan Fox)





2. Pam Ann: Cabin Service (staring Pam Ann)

In a magazine I read years ago, a bigwig working for an international Asian carrier was quoted stating, "Passengers wouldn't dare yell at a flight attendant wearing a dress." It felt like a snide remark directed toward flight attendants in the United States who prefer to wear pants. Instead, it just demonstrated that he hadn't spent much time with U.S. passengers, who are non-discriminating. They are happy to yell both at flight attendants wearing dresses and passengers wearing dresses.

That's a quote from my book "Cruising Attitude: Tales of Crashpads, Crew Drama and Crazy Passengers at 35,000 feet." I'm only sharing it with you because there's been a lot in the news lately about Asiana Airlines. Its flight attendants are upset because they aren't allowed to wear pants (or even glasses!). Their union recently filed a complaint to the human rights commission of Korea. The airline claims the uniform was designed based on hanbok, the Korean traditional dress. The flight attendants understand the airline has an image it wants to pursue, but they also believe the most important function of their job is to assist passengers.

I prefer to wear my skirt over the uniform pants and dress. In fact, I've only worn the pants a handful of times during my career -- and I've been a flight attendant for 17 years! At first, it was the big bulky pleats with the high waist that was a problem for me. Now that the pleats are gone, the pants fit lower on the hips and the ankles aren't tapered, it's the material I have an issue with; it's so thin you can practically see through it!

The first thing a flight attendant does before opening an emergency exit during an evacuation is assess the conditions outside. This is one reason why some airlines require passengers seated in the exit rows to keep their window shades up during takeoff and landing. The last thing you want to do is escape one bad situation only to find yourself in an even worse one. Think fire. Water. Captain Chesley Sullenberger.

BRACE FOR IMPACT!

That's what everyone on board US Airways flight 1549 heard right before Captain Sully ditched the aircraft into the Hudson River after experiencing a double-engine failure while in route to Charlotte, North Carolina January 15, 2009. There were 150 passengers on board and 5 flight crew.

Flight attendant Doreen Walsh did exactly what she was trained to do. After unbuckling her belt and jumping out of her seat, she looked through the tiny porthole window to make sure it was safe outside to open the door. This is when she noticed they hadn't landed at an airport, and that there was water outside! For a split second she wondered if maybe, just maybe, she could get the slide raft inflated before the water became too high to safely do so, but then quickly realized it was already too late. Before she could begin directing passengers to another exit, a safe exit, the window exit only a few feet away, passengers pushed Doreen out of the way and cracked the door open. Water began flooding inside until it was all the way up to their necks. With only a few seconds left to escape, Doreen ordered everyone standing in the aisle to crawl over the seats.

Three years have passed since the Miracle on the Hudson flight crew gave their testimony to the Transportation and Infrastructure Subcommittee on Aviation. And yet I just saw the video for the first time last week. I'm a flight attendant for a major US carrier. I write about travel. Usually I'm up on these things. So if I missed the short clip of the flight attendants detailing their experiences, chances are you probably did, too. That's why I've posted it here.

The following quotes are from the book Striking Thoughts: Bruce Lee's Wisdom for Daily Living by John Little.

1. Something for nothing - "There is only something for something, never something for nothing."

Think about that next time you feel nickel and dimed by an airline. Ticket prices are less than they were twenty years ago, so in the end you're still paying the same price you were in 1992, maybe even less. Keep in mind the Barbie Glam Vacation Jet costs $119.99 at ToysRus. That's more than most one way tickets.

2. Emptiness is the starting point - "In order to taste my cup of water you must first empty your cup. Drop all your preconceived fixed ideas and be neutral. Do you know why this cup is so useful? Because it is empty!"

Don't let what happened on your last flight affect your next flight. Often passengers will board and immediately want to rehash the details of what went wrong on another trip. Things don't usually go so well from here. How could it? I've just been linked to the worst flight ever!

3. "Is" vs. "Should" - "What IS is more important than WHAT SHOULD BE. Too many people are looking at "what is" from a position of thinking "what should be."

To become a flight attendant one must be flexible. Being able to quickly adapt to change is essential on the job. If there's one thing we can count on in the aviation industry, it's something is bound to go wrong. This is why we always have back up plans A, B, C, and D. So next time something doesn't seem to be going right, do what a flight attendant would do and instead of getting upset about what should be happening, focus on what is happening, and start making alternative plans - QUICKLY! Before all the hotel rooms are booked and the rental agencies run out of cars.

4. Anxiety - Anxiety is the gap between the NOW and the THEN. So if you are in the now, you can't be anxious, because your excitement flows immediately into ongoing spontaneous activity.

I can spot a fearful flier a mile away. If they're not asking about the weather, they're clutching the armrest and sweating profusely. A little unknown fact is more people die falling off donkeys than they do in plane crashes. Remember that next time you start to feel anxious. Focus on the fact that you're sitting in a somewhat uncomfortable seat and drinking the beverage of your choice. There's probably even a very nice person sitting beside you. If that doesn't work, tell a flight attendant what's going on and we'll do what we can to help. We're trained professionals. That's what we're there for.

I've been offered a position as a flight attendant. Training hasn't started yet, but I'm freaking out a little. Should I back out? It seems like a fun and exciting job, but the pay is $20/hour with only a 79-hour guarantee of work per month. The first year I would have to be on reserve and would need to live within 20 minutes of the airport. A one bedroom/studio within 30 minutes of the airport averages $1400-$1800 per month! We were told that during our six weeks of training we will be paid $1400, which will be prorated. Huh? How do flight attendants afford to pay for rent and living expenses? I am trying to calculate it and there is no way to make ends meet...even with a roommate! What do you suggest to those of us who have not started? Should we turn around and run for the hills? - Cold Feet

Dear Cold Feet,

I've said it before and I'll say it again, no one becomes a flight attendant for the money! This is why the majority of new flight attendants are either right out of college or looking to make a career change after the kids are grown and out of the house. While $20 an hour may look good on paper, the reality is it doesn't add up to much, not when we're only paid for flight hours. That's strictly time spent in the air. And with so many FAA regulations limiting us to the number of hours and days in a row we can work, most of us average between 80-90 hours a month. Keep in mind flight time does not include boarding, deplaning, delays, scheduled sit time between flights and layovers away from home, even though we're on company time. However we are paid a per diem from sign-in to the time we arrive back to base. It's less than two-dollars an hour.

You've been offered $20 an hour with a 79 hour guarantee. That's roughly $18,000 a year. It's more than most first year flight attendants get paid. The average flight attendant makes between $14,000-$18,000 the first year on the job. Each year we're offered a standard raise. Flight attendants who work international routes, speak a second language, work high time (over 100 hours) and have seniority with a major carrier have the potential to earn up to $80,000 a year, if not more, but this is rare. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, "Median annual wages of flight attendants were $35,930 in May 2008. The middle 50 percent earned between $28,420 and $49,910. The lowest 10 percent earned less than $20,580, and the highest 10 percent earned more than $65,350."

In the spirit of Halloween, I'd like to share a few layover hotel ghost stories from flight attendants I know...

At a hotel in San Francisco the water kept turning itself on during the night. After the 3rd or 4th time, instead of getting up and turning it off, I had a little talk with the ghost. I was thinking I must have lost my mind. Water went off automatically. Never came on again! - Vicki Howell

At our current Paris hotel, I had an apparition appear at the foot of my bed. At first I didn't think it was anything until I felt somebody sit on my bed. I turned on the light near the bed and of course there was nothing there. – John Gonzales

On a layover in Miami, I felt someone/something pull the covers off of my shoulder and breathe cold air onto the back of my neck. I jumped out of bed, ran for the door, turned on the light... and no one was there. On the next trip another flight attendant couldn't get into that same room with her key. Security couldn't get in either. They had to change her room. Gives me the chills even talking about it. - Penni Reynolds Piskor

At a Sheraton in New Jersey in 1989, I kept thinking there was someone in my room. Woke up several times convinced. Searched the room. Nothing was there. Found out later the hotel was reputedly haunted, and one of the elevators was known to run all night, stopping at each floor even though nobody called it - Julie Meyer

I always clip my curtains closed so the light will not shine through and wake me up. In the middle of the night it was like someone used their hands to push both curtains back forcefully. I was lying there freaking out! Another time I woke up to find the decorative bed quilt folded neatly in the corner of the room. I don't fold at home nor am I good at it, so I know I didn't do it in my sleep. The third time we did a seance. We asked for a sign and all the elevators opened simultaneously. We jumped up and ran! – Lynne Smith

Recently a friend shared a story about a woman who accused him of being an "elbow assaulter" on a flight from San Francisco to Dallas. To make a long story short, my friend is 6' 2" and 230 pounds. The woman who sat beside him was, in his words, not petite. During the flight he made various maneuvers in his seat to try and flatten himself against the wall to give her as much room as possible while still being able to type on his computer. Unfortunately his attempt at making himself smaller failed because the woman became upset when his right elbow accidentally made contact with her left shoulder - not once, not twice, but three (possibly four) times! God forbid.

In his blog post detailing the incident, Brian Cuban (AKA the elbow assaulter) wrote, "This was coach. Space is tight. Baby's are going to cry. There are going to be unwelcome smells. People are going to recline their seat into your groin. Shoulders are going to occasionally touch."

I have to agree with Brian. An airplane is public transportation. Unfortunately there is very little personal space on board and therefore anything in the armrest area is fare game for accidental contact.

Sixteen years ago when I first started flying, my roommate who was also new got called out to cover a trip as the lead flight attendant on a 767. As she got ready for the trip, we discussed all the things that could possibly go wrong in flight with her in command of the crew; oven fires, faulty hydraulics, decompressions, medical emergencies, and worse. Not once did it occur to us that an armrest could cause two passengers to come to blows! Which is what would have happened if my roommate hadn't stepped in and assigned the armrest to one passenger for the first three hours of flight and the same armrest to the other passenger for the last half of the flight. Afterwards we laughed at how ridiculous it was that two grown men couldn't work it out amongst themselves. Little did we know just how often we'd be summoned to settle disputes over reclined seats and claimed armrests.

Dear Heather, I am hoping to become a flight attendant soon (have a face to face interview next week!) and have a question about reserve status. I speak Japanese fluently and was wondering how different things are for flight attendants who speak a different language. Are they on reserve for the same amount of time? Is anything different? - Natasha

For the first time in history being a flight attendant is considered a profession, not just a job. Fewer flight attendants are quitting, turnover is not as high as it once was, and competition to become a flight attendant has gotten fierce. Ninety-six percent of people who apply to become a flight attendant do not get a call back. In December of 2010 Delta Airlines received more than 100,000 applications after announcing they had an opening for 1,000 flight attendants. Even though it is not a requirement to have a college degree, only the most qualified applicants are hired. Being able to speak a second language will greatly improve your chance!

The only thing that affects reserve status is company seniority (class hire date). Seniority is assigned by date of birth within each training class. This means the oldest classmate will become the most senior flight attendant in your class. Seniority is everything at an airline, and I mean everything! It determines whether you'll work holidays, weekends and when, if ever, you'll be off reserve. So it's important to accept the earliest training date offered.

While speaking another language doesn't affect how long you'll serve reserve, it will have an impact on your flying career.

PROS

1. MORE MONEY. "Speakers" earn more per hour than non-speakers. Unfortunately it's only a few dollars on top of what a regular flight attendant is paid. Remember most flight attendants make between fourteen to eighteen thousand a year the first year on the job, so every dollar counts.