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Airline Seatmates From Hell: One Man's Story
Hot off of blogger/travel writer Kelsey Timmerman's Twitter comes his shocking account of nearly getting thrown down by an "octegenarian" seatmate.Timmerman, who states he never reclines his seat during flights out of deference to fellow passengers, apparently shifted his weight a tad too violently, provoking the elderly gentleman behind him to take action. After jabbing Timmerman in the arm and informing him that he was "hitting" the gentleman in question's laptop, Timmerman politely explained that he was just sitting there. The response? "I'll kick your ass!"
The scene soon escalated to the octegenarian assaulting Timmerman in the form of violently punching the back of his seat and threatening to "kick [Timmerman's] f--king ass" when the plane landed. A flight attendant then stepped in to defuse the potentially lethal seatmate situation (things can get ugly when catheters and Pacemakers malfunction at 30,000 feet). For his part, Timmerman was just hoping the cantankerous passenger would settle down, so the plane wouldn't be forced to make an emergency landing.
Timmerman ended up with a sore neck and some sort of inner ear trauma, along with an epiphany. "Flying can be frustrating. Flying is frustrating. I'd rather be punched in the face than be delayed."
We'd love to hear your worst seatmate stories (Mine involves an aggressive elbow/armrest war with an elderly Chinese woman on an overseas flight that led to her sleeping on the floor in front of her seat. I swear I didn't hurt her, and the funniest part neither of us every uttered a single word.).
Discuss amongst yourselves, and share.
[Photo credit: Flickr user Olivier.Asselin]
Filed under: Business, Blogs, North America, United States, Airlines, Travel Security
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Aloha Nui Loa Oct 8th 2012 12:12AM
Oh how super funny some of you are? LOL. Sorry I know some of these trips were brutal, but Im busting a gut right now. The farting terrorist? ooooooo LOL so freaken funny dude.
keath Oct 8th 2012 1:21AM
most a--holes grow in to old ones,they just think age gives them a free pass!!!
Fig Oct 8th 2012 2:20AM
Flight from New York to Chicago...woman in front of me had a small child (he looked about 5) from the moment she got on the plane he was screaming and crying loudly....everytime he opened his mouth to scream she shoved a small bite size snickers bar into his mouth as if she were playing a carnival game. The screaming brat ate each snickers bar like a buzz saw. Her purse was an endless pit of snickers bars and the scream-snicker bar toss continued non stop for the entire flight which was jam packed so I had nowhere to move to. I was like a deer in headlights by the end of that flight...just shell shocked and certain that my ears would never recover.
Jo Oct 8th 2012 5:40AM
Had a flight on Aeroflot from Paris to Yerevan. Some of the cabin lighting was broken, so it was dark and dingy. Cigarrette smoke was thick, but not too thick to see the flight attendant carrying a sixpack of beers into the cockpit. I was in a "non-smoking" seat, while others around me were not! On take off, passengers were stilling hanging out in the aisles and around the galley, seemingly having a party. Arm rest broke off, and seat back was in permanent recline position. Held my breath until we landed safely in one piece. Flew Air Austria back out. Before takeoff several passengers were still gathered in small groups talking and laughing. A flight attendent barked through the speaker system for them to SIT DOWN which they all did. Plane was clean, orderly and brightly lit.
jenny Oct 8th 2012 6:30AM
I fly a few times a year. One time not so long ago, a husband and wife, both were quite large and should have taken up all three seats. I had the aisle seat, thank goodness. I had to sit on the edge of my seat as the arms of the guy sitting next to me went halfway into my seat. Then to add insult to injury, they had brought lunch on the plane with them in the form of hoagies loaded with onions. The sandwiches had been closed up which made the onions stonger. I went and sat in the lavatory for 5 mins. to give them time to finish as the smell was overpowering.
barrie whitehead Oct 8th 2012 11:02AM
miami to orlando sat next to a women with a fur coat,my jacket was literally covered in hair after 20 mins into the flight i asked was the coat made from cats to which she took offence told me to find a blow dryer and it would come off,yeah find a blow dryer at 30,000 feet
becca Oct 8th 2012 8:00AM
On a flight from San Francisco to Hawaii I was seated next to a very friendly elderly man who happened to be homeless and had saved enough money from begging to buy a one way ticket to hawaii. He kept apologizing for not having been able to shower (for a long time) but had tried to clean up in the restroom...stinky...STINKY!
jennifer Oct 8th 2012 8:03AM
they are all bad and the airlines does NOT care and because management does NOT care, the hostesses care even less about the problems - I love the reply to your request for action on all these matters - ' are you going to be a problem?'
great reply - they can recite it in their sleep.
jm
Grapost Oct 8th 2012 9:02AM
And the Cattle Rancher doesn't care either when the cattle complain about the conditions in the cattle car.
jjp009 Oct 8th 2012 8:43AM
Once on an AA flight from Boston to L.A., my seatmate decided to breastfeed her son who was about four years old...let me repeat that....he was FOUR YEARS OLD and had a full set of teeth! Needless to say, I did not eat lunch on that flight and requested to be moved, which was impossible as the flight was overbooked as airlines usually do.
Natalie Falcone Oct 8th 2012 8:55AM
Everyone has a bad kid story. One time I was flying home from Florida. There were two little boys (not together) on the flight. They were both probably in the 5-6 age range. The one little boy was quite literally as good as gold. He was patient with the delay, he was quite and polite. The other one was a little demon. He was screaching and hitting his mother. He was on a leash and throwing tantrums. Everyone was dreading getting on the plane with this kid. Towards the end of the flight, he was still screaming. I saw multiple people go up to the mother of the good little boy and tell her thank you. LOL
modlam Oct 8th 2012 9:31AM
Coming home from Aruba to Boston, we had about a 4 hour delay in what was the old waiting area at the airport. A couple of fans, fly paper on the ceilings. Just a lovely place to be. We were about an hour out when we heard a man screaming at a woman. She had a small child, maybe 4 or so, that was uncomfortable and crying a little but not an annoying cry. She had walked the aisle a few times trying to comfort the child. This man just opened up in an obsenity laced tyrade to shut her child up. After threatening her, a few passengers got up and started to threaten him. Next thing you know there are about a dozen people fronting this man. He shut up and that was the end. An hour later the Mexican charter crew announced if there is a doctor onboard please let them know. It turns out a younger female drank way too much at the airport and was very sick. We watched as a few people walked the aisle to assist. My wife and I counted what we thought were 1 nurse, 1 dentist, and 3 lawyers that came forward. We finally landed in Boston and went to get our luggage which had been brought to a private holding area and was being sniffed out by police dogs. If there were some bags not claimed, they cut them open. Obviously they got a tip of something being brought in. After about a 12 hour trip home, we arrived. At least we had some good stories to tell.
Judy Oct 8th 2012 10:06AM
There are certain nationalities that don't wear deodorant. Don't sit next to one like I did. It makes you nauseated.
Clatterbuck Oct 8th 2012 9:59AM
Last year I flew back to D.C. from Germany. I had the window seat. A couple boarded the plane at the last minute and woman sat next to me. They seemed to be O.K. I opened my book and started to read. As soon as the airplane was in the air the woman opened her large purse and pulled out her knitting. The knitting needles were made of wood and were over 12" long. She proceeded to knit in a rather violent manner. From her conversation with her husband I deduced that she was angry at having to sit in coach instead of first class. She complained about everything, very loudly. As if that weren't bad enough, as she was knitting she kept hitting me in the arm with her knitting needles. I glared at her several times, but she just ignored me. I finally had enough and asked her to please stop hitting me with her needles. She glared at me and said Well, I never! She then started talking to her husband about the lack of class in individuals who flew coach. What a snotty bitch.
Brenda Oct 25th 2012 8:38AM
I can relate to the complaint of having to travel with pets,out of control children and rude passengers. On a return vacation trip from southern California there was a family who sat behind me with the child from HELL!!!! this child continuously kicked the back of my seat, had temper tantrums,threw food in all directions while the parents sat as if this was no disturbance at all, you would think they got the message from all the stares and complaints from other passegers.To add to that bit of FUN! the seatmate next to me had his pet dog in a duffel bag, although the dog was a much better experience than the child, I was uncomfortable traveling with a dog on a plane.I always thought pets were to travel in the cargo hold, why would an airline allow pets to travel with their passengers?
Although I enjoy Southwest airlines I was not happy about that flight at all.And I have used their services for 10 years.To bad we can't have more say concerning who we have as a seatmate.
jamie Oct 8th 2012 12:44PM
I once sat next to a really big man who needed to raise the arm rest between us to fit in his seat. So we were glued to each other from ankle to shoulder from San Francisco to Phoenix. Then (this was back in the days of complimentary airline meals), when he saw I didn't eat my whole lunch, he asked if he could have my dessert. He was a nice guy though, definitely not from hell. I gave him my dessert.
cali Oct 8th 2012 1:23PM
Just back from a round-trip Florida to California. Both ways there were babies/infants on the plane and on all four legs of the journey these poor babies would cry during takeoff and landing. Not once did I see a parent offer these children a bottle/sippy cup yet the adults were sitting there chewing their gum and drinking their water. I was a young mother and flew many times with my baby. I never got on a plane without a drink for takeoff and one for landing for her. In my opinion it would have been mean not to help her cope with something she was too young to understand. It hurts their ears. Don't they think about their children's ears? Shame shame shame.