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Airline Seatmates From Hell: One Man's Story
Hot off of blogger/travel writer Kelsey Timmerman's Twitter comes his shocking account of nearly getting thrown down by an "octegenarian" seatmate.Timmerman, who states he never reclines his seat during flights out of deference to fellow passengers, apparently shifted his weight a tad too violently, provoking the elderly gentleman behind him to take action. After jabbing Timmerman in the arm and informing him that he was "hitting" the gentleman in question's laptop, Timmerman politely explained that he was just sitting there. The response? "I'll kick your ass!"
The scene soon escalated to the octegenarian assaulting Timmerman in the form of violently punching the back of his seat and threatening to "kick [Timmerman's] f--king ass" when the plane landed. A flight attendant then stepped in to defuse the potentially lethal seatmate situation (things can get ugly when catheters and Pacemakers malfunction at 30,000 feet). For his part, Timmerman was just hoping the cantankerous passenger would settle down, so the plane wouldn't be forced to make an emergency landing.
Timmerman ended up with a sore neck and some sort of inner ear trauma, along with an epiphany. "Flying can be frustrating. Flying is frustrating. I'd rather be punched in the face than be delayed."
We'd love to hear your worst seatmate stories (Mine involves an aggressive elbow/armrest war with an elderly Chinese woman on an overseas flight that led to her sleeping on the floor in front of her seat. I swear I didn't hurt her, and the funniest part neither of us every uttered a single word.).
Discuss amongst yourselves, and share.
[Photo credit: Flickr user Olivier.Asselin]
Filed under: Business, Blogs, North America, United States, Airlines, Travel Security
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Grant Martin Oct 5th 2012 3:34PM
Once I had to fly on Spirit.
catherine Oct 7th 2012 9:51PM
hahaha
Eric Oct 5th 2012 4:49PM
I've twice encountered the "Seat Mate Of Unusual Girth" (SMOUG). Once was a 3 hour domestic flight in the late 90's on American from Austin to San Jose (the famous "nerd bird"). Back then, totally full flights weren't that common, but there were no spare seats that day. The FAs were cool though--after we got airborne, they let me sit on the little shelf between the lavatories without a seatbelt until we started our descent. The second time, unfortunately, was Chicago to London on United and I was jammed against the bulkhead for 9 hours.
More recently, I sat next to a woman and her teenaged son, whose adult diaper had to be changed every 45 minutes. He was bigger than she was and it was impossible to be discrete.
Jill O. Oct 6th 2012 9:17AM
I was in United 1st class from ORD to RDU last night and my Santa doppelgänger seat-mate kept barking orders at our lovely attendant without a please or thank you, or even to wait until she was done with my drink order. "bring me Jack and Coke and a seat extender!" A real live Christmas a$$hole. I've actually had worse experiences, but there is no excuse for being a first class jerk.
stinky Oct 8th 2012 1:56AM
And knowing that you too were sitting in first class you must have said something to this polite friend of yours?
Eager Traveler Oct 5th 2012 7:38PM
Flight from YVR to LIH... Air Canada. 2 years ago. Economy...31" Seat Pitch. I am 6'5". I do not lean back in deference to the passenger behind me. Flight was 5.5 hours on a 767. Elderly lady in front of me slams and jams her seat back several times. Turns back and says "move your legs". With my height and the seat pitch it was impossible. This continued for 45 minutes. The old lady then complained to a FA that I would not move. The FA advised her that there was no room for he to decline. The old lady got very upset then started to tell me that I should have booked a business class seat if I need all this room. Turns out the old bat was having a nic fit and couldn't wait to light up as soon as she could.
Another AC flight. 8 years ago. YVR to YYZ. Red eye. I had a bad cold but need to be in YYZ for an early morning meeting. me still 6'5". Seat pitch 29". Pregnant lady in front of me insisted her seat recline. Despite the actual pain I was in the flight crew refused to do anything. Seat was reclined so far back that the meal (this is when they served meals) tray could not fully deploy. As my passive aggressive self kicked in I insisted the meal and drinks be placed in the aisle beside me therefor interrupting any thing the fa's did for the rest of the flight. I was sure to ask for water every 20 minutes and bash the seat in front of me every 5 minutes.
The wonders of travel!
Jar Oct 7th 2012 10:16PM
Most of mine are on Asian carriers but.....the guy next to me trimming his chin hairs using two Hong Kong coins..click...click...click. The Vietnamese lady on a Shanghai to Hanoi flight who wanted me to be sure I knew she did not like me by staring at me for 3hours non- stop. The first time flyer seat mate who was sure that the pop down video screens on an A320 could act like a touch screen so he could change the movie 20x. The China eastern A310 flight attendant doing monitor duty on the bathroom as there was no door....A recent San Francisco to Shanghai flight on UAL the overhead leaked water for the entire 11 hour flight. The picture of the napkin and duct tape repair is epic. Then there was the BA flight several years ago where the plane had just returned from Moscow into LHR where I took same plane to Frankfurt....and was notified a week later that I was exposed to iridium or whatever the Russian spy used to kille the Russian guy in London..........
April Genesis Oct 6th 2012 1:55AM
Any suggestions to making this a pleasant experience for her- has anyone flown Southwest with a pet and are they very pet friendly? Thanks for the info!
http://www.zimbio.com/Anti-aging/articles/V--4RlhsiXU/Revivagenix+Pro+Collagen+Serum+Review+Wrinkle
carole Oct 7th 2012 8:28PM
NO! Southwest is not pet friendly! Friendly with adult humans though!
Unexpected Traveller Oct 6th 2012 5:41AM
I once had a rather annoying passenger across the aisle from me who had a rather odd taste in foot medicine: http://wp.me/ppqxP-Es
Sherri Oct 7th 2012 8:08PM
Unfortunately, I've never had a positive seatmate flight, so they all are pretty much a nightmare. Breathing all that recycled air, not one millimeter of space to call your own, chairs designed for people that are 6 ft tall and weigh 3 pounds does not make for a good flight.
Vivian Karim Oct 7th 2012 8:30PM
Maybe you're the bad seat mate then?
sherrimckee Oct 7th 2012 8:55PM
Perhaps I am. I don't recline my seat. I keep my purse on my lap and my elbows in. I try and reach the floor with my toes. I understand that small children's ears hurt during take off and landing and they cry. I don't watch movies and I take a book to read.
There was a time when air travel was very enjoyable. That was a long, long time ago. I'm glad that some folk have had good experiences.
MPOW Oct 7th 2012 8:38PM
Minny to Denver. Last row. Can't recline because of rear bulkhead. Middle seat. 300 ponders on either side of me. When we hit 10,000 ft. the guy in front reclines. DRED LOCKS 4" from my face for the rest of the flight!!!
schatzi Oct 7th 2012 9:04PM
Has anyone ever suggested to the airlines that seats should NOT recline? They aren't any more comfortable for the person reclining, and certainly not for the poor person sitting behind, Just a thought.
Natalie Falcone Oct 8th 2012 8:55AM
AGREED! Who ever thought that was a good idea!?
jokerwilds Oct 7th 2012 9:10PM
i flew con-air 3 times and everyone wanted to beat someones butts..we were shackled and handcuffed with black boxes and belly chains so tension was higher than we were flying...oh by the way its nothing like the movie....
Crabby Oct 7th 2012 9:38PM
I always try to have good manners when I am on a flight. But I have noticed that some people just lack manners and boundaries. The last flight I took was from a southern calif.city to Sacramento Ca. on Southwestern @ 1730in May. Should have been a small sweet quick and pleasant flight right? BUT OH NO...about two rows back we have Lady Fat Mouth I AM SO G D IMPORTANT sucking down the booze and getting louder and louder and louder. And her male seatmate kept up with her.Believe me by the time we landed we knew ALL about that smug drunken slob and how important she felt she was.Everyone on that plane complained....everyone kept turning their heads to glare at her NOTHING shut her up....she would ratchet the noise down for a few minutes then build right back up to total insanity.We all just sat there when we landed so we could watch that pathetic cow in her stiletto heals stumble off the plane:) Very bad manners and silly me I thought I was going to be able to study some of my critical care nursing modules:( NOT!!!!
Neal Oct 7th 2012 10:39PM
I was on my way from Mexico - to Dallas - then off to Baltimore Maryland. We were 4 adult males traveling together. Continental Airlines - when we landed in Dallas from Mexico, put all of our luggage on the plane to Baltimore - but not us. The plane left early - without us on board. We were at the gate 5 min before boarding time - with no plane to catch. They put us up over night in a hotel - which was used mostly by local prostitutes. We insisted on a flight the next day to Washington DC. and then for them to pay for a cab to Baltimore. Which they agreed to. We are all large men 6 ft - about 225 lbs. They gave us all center seats. My seat was next to the poster child for terrorism. A man in a turban - beard - white dress. As I sat down next to him - he ripped out the loudest fart I have ever heard. I said "excuse me?" then he proceeded to fart 3 more times in a row. I asked him if he was planning to blow the plane up from the inside out. He was a delight compared to what was to happen next. The fattest man I have ever seen in my life was forcing himself down the aisle. Pushing his front and back body parts to make it to the seat next to mine. When he sat down the entire aisle side to his seat broke away and landed in the aisle. As he pushed me into the farting terrorist. Did they make him get off the plane - NO ! They brought two men on who welded him into the seat. You could not give me a lifetime of free flights on Continental. I will never fly with them again.
Norman Scott Oct 7th 2012 11:35PM
You want to really puke? Fly Air Jordan. I had to fly on a business to Jordan, and something was lacking, the passengers, were crude, and rude, they acted like herded cattle, they could not wait to be waited on, it was a non-smoking flight and the attendants could not enforce the rule. It was chaos. Let alone the BO. Later Air Jordan sent me a questioner to rate their airline, that was a mistake. I could not find one complementary word to express. Next trip I flew Lufthansa. That was good.