Sad, yet sort of hilarious. I've traveled the world, heavy emphasis on all of Europe for years, but never resported to a commercial name or housing-swap service. I guess I've just met enough people that making connections *reasonably close* to where I want to go is rarely a problem. Although Iive in a rural, rather isolated part of Amerika, I of course reciprocate the graces for friends and friends-of-friends, as long as they understand that my home is NOT dead center in the middle of a thriving metrololis. I tend to stick with semi-close age-peers (I'm 61) and I've yet to have a problem. I welcome these folks, gladly show them the best of my little part of Amerika and then deposit them as needed for the next part of their journey. In nearly 30 years of exchanges, I've NEVER failed to recieve a note of thanks and a reiprocal invitation. In a few cases, visits here and the reciprocals there have become liffe-long friendships. (When I visit rural Holland, a much-favored country, my friends seem to compete in their hosting offers. All four (singles couples or small families) have been to my home and I love them all as if they were 'kissin' cousins. We work it out. In the case of my Dutch friends, we are all rural folks, not high spending city snoots (yes, there is a little opinion embedded in that). While it is always about having fun and enjoying new experiences, rural folk also understand work. WIth no firm schedule, we also exchange a little labor, mostly for the pleasure of it. If the extra hands get the chores done a bit earlier, the day includes a bit more time for pleasure. The details are very informal and the duties usuallt light and safe. I don't do dairy or livestock in Amerika, but helping one of my Dutch friends with a few days of milking and cheese making has become almost an annual event. They don't grow a lot of dense, 85-100 year forests in Holland, but my friends enjoy a day or two of helping me do exactly that. And we eat! Nothing is off limits and genuine dislikes are extremely rare. We recognize the possibility and often joke that a scrambled egg sandwich (with a side of cheese) is always available a plan B. If you love the people, you will learn to love their food. I guess I should add that by agreement, we try to avoid the huge, festive holiday feasts and serve ordinary, everyday meals. The one exception for my Dutch friends is Amerika's traditional Thanksgiving Day Feast. They seem very fond of it, so I cook the real McCoy about five or six times a year. As often as I can get to Holland, I have friends to welcome me, more delicious yet *simple* food than I can eat, and plenty of activity. It beats the heck out of art collections and monuments, 'ya know? In three of the four Dutch cases, we now share such intimate details and births, deaths and other family events - among international folks who were total strangers, save a chance encounter, 20 or 30 years ago. In April (2012) I made a special trip to Holland (Island of Amaland) to join the wedding party of a young woman whose birth I had witnessed some 23 years ago. We have no blood connection, but I'm 'uncle,' and she cannot wait to bring her new husband to 'uncle's' house in Amerika. I'm not sure how or why all of this happened, but no complaints. I think a big part of it is just trying to be nice to others, appreciating and **Respecting** their cultural norms and being polite. A few Amerikan citizens get it - ad it works. Most do not and the State Department and government darn sure do NOT 'get it.' In the end, Amerika cannot - and should not try to buy these countries nor Amerikanize their cultures. (And we damn sure cannot afford it.) In my view, the very best of Interenational Relations are made on a personal, 1:1 relationship and money stay out of the conversations. That's my experience with Holland. Want to hear about the Middle-East or perhaps Eastern Europe of the late 80s and early 90s? The personal relationships are similar, but their economic situations were (are) so vastly different that I've had few guests from those regions. Despite some effort, the relationships are also far fewer. Eastern Europe is now easier because their citizens have lost their fear. In the Mid-East, I suspect that my personal methods are deemed unworthy, save the odd opportunist. As much as I hate to say it, far too many of of those folks were born with and taught too much hate. The odd breakthrough is possible, but a life of shared, inter-cultrual experience and genuine love remains elisuve. The one or two that exist are so fragile that I dare not mention them.
Despite what we may have been taught, simply being NICE to folks in other countries, cultures and with different beliefs is a darn smart move and can pay huge, personal dividends. Please don't be that "Ugly Amerikan," a phrase so popular in the late 50s and 60s. We CAN do better, even if it is only one family at a time.

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