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New 'Retro' Airline Air Wright Takes To The Skies
Looking to capitalize on passenger dissatisfaction for current air travel and the trendiness of all things retro, Air Wright has introduced a one of a kind in-flight experience. Instead of forcing travelers to fly in cramped seats, three passengers will be strapped to wings of each Air Wright biplane, allowing them to "feel the fresh air" and stretch their legs in comfort. In-flight meal service will include a selection of hand-mixed moonshine cocktails and a snack of pemmican and hard tack. And instead of a tiresome TSA security check, customers will be asked to settle all duels and grievances in Air Wright's pre-flight dueling lobby.
Air Wright's CEO Orville Lindbergh pulled no punches at the company's inaugural press conference, laying out the reasons travelers have grown tired of the inconveniences of modern air travel. "In an era when travelers are hassled on other airlines like never before by endless security checks, cramped seats and stale airplane food, Air Wright is confident it will win customers with a flight experience that takes them back to a time when things were simpler." Even though the airline won't launch its inaugural flight until later this year, CEO Lindbergh has big plans for a range of "retro" travel businesses, including plans for a vintage cruise line called Melville Tours and a cross-country bus service named Donner Coaches.
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