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Babies and first class: why is this an issue?
Earlier this week, I saw a story about babies and first class air travel posted on Facebook. The Facebook poster asked our own Heather Poole (flight attendant, mother, and new book author!) for her thoughts on the story, and she replied, "I'm fine with babies in first class. Usually they just sleep." Columnist Brett Snyder is a frequent flier and new dad wondering if he should use miles to upgrade his first flight with the baby. Reading the article and the many comments, I wonder: why is this (or really any story about babies and airplanes) a contentious issue?Long before I even thought about having children, I thought the same about babies in first class that I thought about anyone in the front of the plane: must be nice for them. Sure, it might be a waste of money to give a premium seat to someone whose legs don't touch the ground and who can't enjoy the free Champagne, but it's the parents' choice to splurge on the ticket. If the parents are more comfortable, the kid might be happier and thus quiet -- a win-win for everyone on the plane. Does the child "deserve" to sit up front? Perhaps not, but airplane seating has never been based on merit. To paraphrase Dr. Seuss, a passenger is a passenger, no matter how small.
I'm also fortunate to have an easy baby who so far (knock on wood) has been very well behaved on every flight. This is in part very good luck, but also due to the fact that I watch her constantly and head off any signs of crying before they start. I'll hold and feed her as often as it takes, even if it means I rarely rest anymore on a plane. Many of the same people who've given me "the look" when boarding with an infant have complimented me after on her behavior. Brett also notes in his article: "Don't just sit there while your baby screams. Do everything you can to calm him and people will be more understanding." This is good advice, but does it really need to be said?! I'd never dream of sitting by idly while my child disturbed other people and I'm embarrassed by any other parents who would consider such behavior acceptable. Still, I recognize that even with the most watchful parents, sometimes a cranky baby is unavoidable but I hope that when/if that day comes, my fellow passengers will see how hard I'm trying to make the flight easier for all of us. Better still, if I anticipate a difficult age for my baby to fly, I'll look into alternative methods of travel (or postpone until an easier time).
If we are going to ban babies from first class, or even segregate them from adults on all flights, why stop there? Why not a separate flight for the armrest-hogs, the obese, the incessant talkers, or the drunk and belligerent? I'd like a plane full of only frequent flyers, who know not to use their cell phone after the door closes, who don't rush the aisles the minute the wheels touch down, who don't recline their seats during drink service or bring smelly food (or nail polish) onto the plane. Start flights for only considerate, experienced travelers and you will find me in the front of the plane, with my baby on my lap.
For more about (considerate) travel with a baby, read my past "Knocked Up Abroad" stories here.













Reader Comments (Page 5 of 8)
Lynn Mar 13th 2012 11:42AM
Thank you for showing the world that you are an idiot! Just remember you were a baby once too!
And for the idea of renting a car-tell that to my nephew and his family-last time I checked, when the Army transfered him from Germany back to the States, there was no oceanic highway that he could just hop on and get back here.
Also, to all who say plan better when traveling with kids, gee, my Mother didn't get that memo, so when she died unexpectedly, so I guess it was her fault that my brother and family had to hop on the first flight from the coast to get back to NY!
Brian Mar 13th 2012 12:46PM
Okay, Miss? You're missing an entire issue. Babies eardrums are not developed enough to handle the air pressures they're subjected to on planes. As a result, most of the babies I've flown with have been more then cranky. A little girl behind me screamed at the top of her lungs for 10 minutes on the last flight I was on and the mother for some Godly unknown reason did NOT pick her up to comfort her but spoke to her sternly while she was sitting in the seat beside her. The flight attendant came to the woman and asked her to take control of the situation.
edna murphy Mar 13th 2012 11:16AM
My! Barbara Greene,
For you to speak of the "riff raff" in economy class makes me think you are an uneducated,egotistical,ignorant snob. I have travelled economy class by choice,even though I could afford first class and have spoken to many delightful, friendly, polite and helpful people. GROW UP!!!!!
lauralynn Mar 13th 2012 11:17AM
I've never had the privilege of flying first class, but I thought first class had an age restriction. I thought first class was for adults and escorted teens only.
Anyway, I'm a FIRM believer that ALL passengers, including infants and small children, should be made to have their own assigned seats. No more allowing of sitting the child on the adults lap through out the flight stuff. If we aren't allowed to hold onto our carry-on bags, our purses, even our coats that weigh from 1lb - 5lbs during take off, landing and during turbulence because it's too dangerous, then how can the airlines justify allowing people to hold an unsecured child which weighs from 12lbs - 55lbs?
In my observations the airline industry has taken a nose dive since it's deregulation back in the 1970's and it has never recovered, but continues to spiral out of control. Our whole airline industry, every single part of it is in desperate need of a major overhaul before it all comes crashing down around us.
Brad Mar 13th 2012 11:20AM
Sorry! No one wants to spend hours in an uncomfortable airplane, let alone listen to a screaming baby!
Brenda Mar 13th 2012 11:31AM
Good grief. Now we are dealing with "baby racism? The people in this world are getting just a bit "to into their own selves" if we have gotten to where we cant even tolerate our own innocent children anymore. How selfish and immature can one be? They are babies. Our most precious beings on this planet. They should be valued and treasured. Not shunned and stuck in a hole somewhere. People need to learn life isnt all about them. The responses on this page are just ignorant and selfish to say the very least. And no, I dont have small children. And No I dont travel on planes. But if I did it wouldnt change my opinion. I use to work for a daycare. Nothing but small children making noise all day. So you cant tell me anything about children I dont already know. Grow up and get over yourself. Sacrifice for the better good of a child...not just "give me give me give me" all day long.
gigicat161 Mar 13th 2012 11:31AM
I don't care who sits in first class as long as they don't bother, disturb or ruin the flight for the other passengers. Parents with kids should board first and get settled and not wait to get on last. Parents with kids should be prepared to remove the kid when it starts crying/screaming as it disturbs the other passengers. I've had flights where kids sat behind me and kicked my seat, pulled my hair, put their feet on my arm rest and the parents did nothing. I complained to the FA and they fixed the problem. Too many parents tune out the kids and just assume the general public will do the same. How about an entire plane that is just for kids and the parents. No seats. They can sit on the floor (they want to anyway) and the parents can ignore them.
Meg Nesterov Mar 13th 2012 11:28AM
Thanks to each and every one of you for your comments, particularly those of you who have taken the time to read and respond thoughtfully. My sympathies are with any of you who've sat next to a crying baby, though I can assure you, it wasn't mine. There are many ways to calm a baby, and feeding with a bottle or breast alleviates ear pressure. We all have reasons to fly and it's a privilege for all of us, no matter what class. The fact is that airplanes are another form of public transportation and we can't always choose who we sit next to, but we can all stand to learn common sense, consideration for others, and tolerance.
Cherie Mar 13th 2012 11:30AM
Funny she seems like the one that would complain before she had kids and is now having a change of tune. In other words she thought that kids where an issue before she had them and is assuming everyone thinks that about her. She will ease up once she has more kids.
I never had any problem with my children in restaurants planes supermarket even as babies or toddlers. In fact most people where very social and engaging. Never got the look. But than again my kids never got fussy in public. And it looks like she is tending to her baby needs and this mother should not have an issue.
There are lots of mothers that never had an issue in public. Sad to say how many have had travel, dinner even the chore of shopping ruined. Because of a child having a major hissy fit. Not one thought about them, the planning the saving the making the time. Even if it is a once in a lifetime trip. Time to stop thinking about self and think about others.
gcor1952 Mar 13th 2012 12:07PM
There is give and take both ways. I understand babies cry. That's why I bring head phones. I sat an isle away from a baby with what seemed to be a sunburn and it cried the whole flight. I was OK with that. I also sat by a mother and what seemed to be a five year old who screamed the whole time because she didn't get her way of wanting to run up and down the isle. The mother just kept telling her come on honey for 2 hours. I had a kid kicking the back of a friend's seat and he politely ask the father to have him stop. The dad said "what do you want me to do, he's a kid"? Finally my friend who is 6' 5" and 250 lbs whispered to the guy that if his kid didn't stop kicking the seat he was going kick the father's butt after the flight. The kid didn't kick the seat again.
Patti M Mar 13th 2012 11:33AM
No one minds considerate passengers of any age in any cabin. I do object to a little darling kicking the back of my seat for hours on end, which has happened in first class. On that occasion, the parents sat together on one side of the aisle and let their approximately three and five year olds sit together on the other side. The kids bickered with each other and annoyed the people in their immediatel vicinity. My headphones kept me from hearing most of the bickering, but the seat kicking was impossible to ignore. Mom and Dad obliviously sipped champagne and ignored the children. This was almost as rude as the frequent fliers who keep talking or texting on their iPhones while the plane is rolling down the taxiway.
Anne Mar 13th 2012 11:45AM
Look, while it may work for you and your baby, most passengers can tell you that when there are infants and young toddlers on a plane, it is much more likely to be a nightmare than a reasonably quiet ride if you are near them.
I know you love your baby. Babies are great. But some children, in fact, these days, most infants and young toddlers, have great dificulties in adjusting to the strange people, loud engine noises, and pressure changes causing them pain. Then they SCREAM, and there is not a whole lot parents can do.
I am glad that you and your baby have had good experiences. But that simply is not true for a large number of traveling babies unless the parents are wiling to give them medications to calm them. And many refuse to do so. Traveling next to a screaming child is hell for the rest of us............much worse than loud talking passengers, seat hoggers, or morbidly obese people. Parents who knowingly travel wih infans or children who cannot cope with air travel, are really quite selfish. They just refuse to admit it.
Jinx Mar 19th 2012 8:50PM
My parents are both in the aviation business with my mother being a flight attendant. I've been flying since the day I was born, and flown First Class several times. I also LOVE babies/children!!
HOWEVER, if I spend hundreds of dollars to enjoy the luxury and comfort of flying first class, the last thing I want is a screaming baby or loud chatty child the whole flight. It's not fair to other passengers to spend a lot of money and not enjoy their flight. Parents should be more considerate of other passengers no matter how much money they have.
Arnold Mar 13th 2012 11:46AM
Dear Meg;
Kudos to you and your article. Wish EVERYONE traveling read this and learned. I am a veteran of several overnight trips to Brazil and also am guilty of giving "The look" when I see small children nearby, "ach, why me Lord" but many times I offer compliments to Mother when we land after a quiet flight with well behaved Children (And sometimes adults). BUT (and there is always a but) Some need to heed your valuble article, Thanks.
Arnold
Angi Mar 13th 2012 11:51AM
I realize that planes have limited space, but it would be great if some had a "family section." Of course, not all people with children would use it, but a section with some cartoons, crayons, and a few toys would be great. For the rest of us without children, earplugs please!
Shawn Mar 13th 2012 11:59AM
Some people are just inconsiderate...I have flown on flights(yes numerous times) where I was asked to move from a PAID seat because a family didn't pay and wanted to sit together...How bad would it look if I said no to the F/A and made a 3 yr old sit separate from their parents? I also fly from/to OIA so you know my flights are always chock full of young kids, screaming with excitement to see Mickey and crying when they are leaving Mickey...I just can't win...Lol
wllharrington Mar 13th 2012 12:01PM
It sems to me that not all the crying babies are in the baby seats.
Pat Mar 13th 2012 12:19PM
While I cringe when a baby ends up next to me on a plane, I am generally OK if they have a SEAT. It is lap babies that make me nuts. The parents end up juggling them around, passing them back and forth, etc. Or the baby falls asleep in their lap, then it is an issue if I have to get up and get past them. And it is just so UNSAFE, that I can barely stand it.
summertimefun74 Mar 13th 2012 12:10PM
total agree with FURIOUS!!! good comment
Jean Mar 13th 2012 12:26PM
Air flights can be very trying for parents and others when kids are being difficult. I think for the most part parents are able to subdue their children after a crying bout. What I take exception to is something I experienced on a long flight many years ago. My husband and I were flying for 5 hours from Hawaii to LA, and they stuck a 5 year old hyperactive unsupervised child next to us. The parents had shipped him from one place to another with no relatives or caregivers on the plane. I suppose the parents assumed the stuardesses would watch over him, but he ran up and down the aisles of the plane and my husband and I spent half of our flight trying to entertain him. He was laying over both our laps. And to make matters worse the women behind us reprimanded me for not controlling my kid!