Though the idea of a four ton animal treading water in the first place is tough to wrap your head around, there are few experiences more surreal than straddling the neck of a leathery, hairy beast, your hands firmly clinging to a rope which is tenuously wrapped around the elephant's underbelly, and to have the four-legged monstrosity completely disappear into a puddle of deep brown water.

Of course, these elephants are exceptionally well trained, but nevertheless, it all happens so fast. In one moment you are firmly on dry land bouncing along through the dripping green foliage of the jungle, and in the next you find yourself waist deep in a brown lake straddling one of the largest creatures on Earth which has, suddenly, completely disappeared.

This experience is of course coupled with the fact that an elephant is equipped with a fire hose on its face. Capable of drawing up to four gallons of water into its long, serpentine snout, the elephant will then deposit the massive reservoir of elephant boogers where ever he happens to see fit. The most typical place for it to unleash its hose is its own back in an effort to cool itself down. If you happen to be sitting on the elephants back, however...

Luckily I avoided the experience of being drenched with elephant snot, but this was perhaps my biggest fear going into the expedition. Not falling into the water and getting kicked in the face like any normal person might be wary of, but of being briskly trumpeted by a dual-nostrilled cannon at a speed of about 95 knots.

"She must like you" claimed the mahout, an Indian word for a man in charge of driving the domesticated elephants.

"She usually brings most people back with their hair dripping wet."

Still seated bareback on top of the gray animal, I trembled with excitement at what had just taken place. Potentially unaware that I was even still sitting on top of her, for her part she had moved on to flapping her small ears and chewing on a soaking wet piece of sugar cane.

This may sound crazy, but if you ever travel to Thailand, do yourself a favor and go swimming with an elephant. A package deal of a mechanical bull, a zoo, and a waterpark, it's an experience you assuredly will never forget.

Read more of the Vagabond Tales here.