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A light sleeper's lament: six things you shouldn't do in a hotel
I used to be able to sleep well in the humblest of places. But the older I get, the harder it is for me to get a good night sleep while traveling. I don't know if it's because I usually travel with two toddlers, or if travelers are becoming increasingly ignorant of basic hotel etiquette, or if I'm spoiled by my Tempurpedic mattress at home, but I often find myself sleeping like a baby while on the road. That is, waking up every few hours and wanting to cry.Here are six things you shouldn't do in hotels.
Sleep Crimes
Hit the snooze bar. As a light sleeper, I don't think hotel rooms should come equipped with alarm clocks, and certainly not ones with snooze bars. I'll never forget a truly diabolical traveler sleeping in the room next to mine in a hotel in Charlottesville, Virginia, a few years back. His alarm clock woke us up at 5 A.M. on a Sunday morning. It went off, like a siren, for about 30 seconds before he finally turned it off.
Eight minutes later, there it was again. And eight minutes after that. And again, eight minutes after that. We called down to the front desk and they sent someone up to the room, but their pounding failed to rouse the slumbering maniac. The alarm-snooze-alarm cycle continued until 6 A.M. when our neighbor finally decided to grace the world with his consciousness. But even then, it was hard to get back to sleep, because I was so irate.
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: ten years in prison in a cell that shows nothing but Samantha Brown reruns on the Travel Channel.
Converse loudly in the hallway outside my room. It's amazing how oblivious people can be when it comes to the sound of their own voices. I once had the misfortune to say in a hotel with a huge group of senior women who belonged to a club called the Red Hat Society. On a Saturday morning at 7 A.M. two red-hats were conversing loudly about how annoying someone else was, directly outside my room. I could hear every word. I sat up in bed and listened for about ten minutes, assuming they'd soon go away. They did not, so I got out of bed, and confronted them, bleary eyed in boxers and t-shirt.
"Excuse me, but we're trying to sleep," I said. "Do you think you could keep it down, or go in a room, it's 7 A.M."
One of the red-hatted women (they really did wear red hats) smiled broadly at me and chirped, "7 o'clock, it's time to get up!"
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: banishment to a monastery that requires a vow of silence.
Call me. During a recent one night stay at a chain hotel in Ocean City, Maryland, I fielded more phone calls from the front desk than I've received from various family members over the last year. Right after check-in, they called to ask if I liked the room. No worries. Around 8 p.m. they called again, as we were working on getting our children to sleep, to ask if we needed anything. No thanks. At 10.30, about an hour after we'd finally managed to subdue our little ones, the phone jolted them back awake.
"Mr. Seminara, we're calling to remind you of the hotel's no smoking policy," the woman said.
"You're calling to remind me about the non-smoking policy at 10.30 at night?" I asked, incredulous.
"We've had a complaint from someone on your floor who smelled smoke," she explained.
"So rather than come up to investigate, you're calling everyone on this floor to remind them of the no smoking policy?"
"That's right," she said.
It made perfect sense to her, but then again, she wasn't going to have to put my kids back to sleep.
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 30 days of solitary confinement.
Banish your children to the hallways. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a monkey wrench than stay in a hotel on a floor with a youth sports team, who are the worst offenders to this rule. I can deal with people who wake me up, but when you spend hours trying to get small children to bed and then they are roused awake by marauding teens and tweens, living it up on the night before their soccer tournament, it's hard not to get into a homicidally crazy frame of mind.
I once asked a group of little monsters, who were running up and down the halls knocking on doors at random near midnight, what room their parents were in.
"They're in there," one said, pointing to a room down the hall. "But they told us not to come back until twelve."
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: for the parents- sixty days in a North Korean labor camp.
Hygiene Faux Pas
Emit uncovered hacking coughs or blow your nose near the breakfast buffet. This should be common sense, shouldn't it? But why do I see people who look like they've got Bubonic Plague fingering every roll on the breakfast table?
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 90 days of eating bizarre foods with Andrew Zimmern.
Discharge bodily fluids on the bedspreads and blankets. An ABC News investigation of hotel chains in 2006 found bodily fluid stains on the floor, bedspread and walls. Really folks, if you must discharge bodily fluids, do so in the toilet or on the sheets, which are actually changed.
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 60 days of baths in an open sewer.
Image via Fairy Heart on Flickr.
"Mr. Seminara, we're calling to remind you of the hotel's no smoking policy," the woman said.
"You're calling to remind me about the non-smoking policy at 10.30 at night?" I asked, incredulous.
"We've had a complaint from someone on your floor who smelled smoke," she explained.
"So rather than come up to investigate, you're calling everyone on this floor to remind them of the no smoking policy?"
"That's right," she said.
It made perfect sense to her, but then again, she wasn't going to have to put my kids back to sleep.
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 30 days of solitary confinement.
Banish your children to the hallways. I would rather gouge my eyes out with a monkey wrench than stay in a hotel on a floor with a youth sports team, who are the worst offenders to this rule. I can deal with people who wake me up, but when you spend hours trying to get small children to bed and then they are roused awake by marauding teens and tweens, living it up on the night before their soccer tournament, it's hard not to get into a homicidally crazy frame of mind.
I once asked a group of little monsters, who were running up and down the halls knocking on doors at random near midnight, what room their parents were in.
"They're in there," one said, pointing to a room down the hall. "But they told us not to come back until twelve."
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: for the parents- sixty days in a North Korean labor camp.
Hygiene Faux Pas
Emit uncovered hacking coughs or blow your nose near the breakfast buffet. This should be common sense, shouldn't it? But why do I see people who look like they've got Bubonic Plague fingering every roll on the breakfast table?
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 90 days of eating bizarre foods with Andrew Zimmern.
Discharge bodily fluids on the bedspreads and blankets. An ABC News investigation of hotel chains in 2006 found bodily fluid stains on the floor, bedspread and walls. Really folks, if you must discharge bodily fluids, do so in the toilet or on the sheets, which are actually changed.
Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: 60 days of baths in an open sewer.
Image via Fairy Heart on Flickr.
Filed under: Asia, Europe, North America, United States, Hotels and Accommodations
Reader Comments (Page 5 of 13)
James Peterson Jan 12th 2012 11:19AM
I have a personal peeve. People let their doors slam when they're leaving in the morning or when they're coming back in the evening. Can't people hold the door when the close it instead of letting it slam?
Bill Jan 14th 2012 3:03PM
You are not alone. I am always conscious of other peoples desire for quiet under the more crowded conditions hotels have. I close my door softly. Very few people follow that example. It is as if only them exist in the hotel. I had neighbors slamming doors very late, after 11:30. I had next door neighbors at extended stay who would party at 2:00 am every morning and drink a keg during that time. Today's hotel patrons are mostly pigs. Business travelers have been getting the big push around lately and I resent that treatment.
Chas Jan 11th 2012 4:36PM
There's the 1% who have most of the money and the 7% who are also civilized. Staying at hotels frequently, you never can tell what you'll encounter even at the 5*s. Just avoid Sam's Lodge, Bangkok at all cost. Go to SWAN Hotel, Bangrak. It is well worth the additional cab fare and motor way fees, getting around town. Just don't fall for the 50 baht Tuk Tuk driver, who says he'll drive you around all day.
Tracy Jan 11th 2012 5:04PM
As a past flight attendant and approx. 5 yrs as a Front Desk Mgr.,I agree with all of Dave's comments. Unfortunately these problems will not go away. I am a very light sleeper so I recommend always having ear plugs on a plane & in the hotels. They work wonders! I suggest that when situations arise like the ones above, do not hesitate to contact security. Most hotels have very strict policies regarding noise. Security officers will give the noise makers a single warning and usually after that, they have the option to ask parties involved to vacate the premises. If that fails, speak to a manager & let them know if they are not willing to resolve the problem you will contact the police with a noise disturbance report. I once had to make this threat at a Disney World Resort and I promise you I did not hear a peep afterward. No hotel wants the police to come & bring unwanted/negative attention!
Anthony Jan 14th 2012 1:33PM
That won't work well if the kids are smart.
I remember when we go to water parks, the lifeguards are always so overprotective on how you go down slides, that when I started arguing that I think I'm old enough to know what is a worthwhile risk or not, even the 12-year olds next to me said something like, "Don't worry, you can get at least 1 or 2 warnings out of each lifeguard. Just wait until they switch and you have 2 or 3 more chances. Worst-case scenario, go to another slide."
I assume 1 security guard does not patrol the whole hotel? So you can get at least 1 or 2 chances from each guard and then just move on to another section of the hotel.
jeanski Jan 11th 2012 6:27PM
As a frequent traveler I can attest that everything the author says is dead on. I once arrived in NY after a flight from Frankfurt, Germany. I had my two small children with me and we were exhausted. I finally got them to sleep when the party people next door started making more noise than you can believe. At 10 pm I called the front desk and complained. They came up and talked to the people who quieted for about 5 minutes, then started again. All night long..... We had to be up very early to get our next flight out, so I decided to take revenge. I called their room at 5 am :-) And then called again every 5 minutes until we left. It was a mean thing to do, I know, but it made me feel better.
Erikka Jan 12th 2012 12:20AM
THAT was a great idea! Good for you!
Anthony Jan 14th 2012 1:33PM
So how exactly are you any better than the other noisy party?
You just lowered yourself to their level (assuming that they apparently did something wrong in the first place.)
JVL Jan 11th 2012 7:57PM
What a whining baby the writer of this article is!
It's pretty simple.
1. Bring ear plugs. No noise to worry about.
2. Tell the desk: no calls after (insert time here). By the way, if you're in a smoking room, there should be no problem. If you're in a non-smoking room, then simply say: Sorry, but it's not us. Thanks for the call, though--AND HANG UP.
3. Ask to be put on a QUIET floor when you make the reservation and repeat the request at check-in--but be prepared to have someone complain about YOUR babies.
4. Tell the maitre d' or the seating hostess if someone coughs or sneezes on the food. Better yet, order from the menu instead of the breakfast bar--but understand that the wait staff talks while carrying your food and you have no control over who sneezed or coughed on it during preparation and cooking.
5. Stay in a hotel that actually changes the bedding every day.
Or better yet, stay home. There are things you cannot control when you are in a hotel. Some things you can eliminate with a little forethought. The rest you deal with, like a GROWNUP.
4.
erikka Jan 12th 2012 12:21AM
Commenting on the rudeness of other patrons is not acting like a baby or even complaining! It's an OBSERVATION of how civilization has deteriorated.
Maybe these hit a little too close to home to your behavior in hotels. Many people walk into a hotel thinking they own the place. Is THAT you?
Erika Jan 11th 2012 8:17PM
This is so spot-on. I work the Front Desk of a hotel at night, and am still trying to talk my manager out of the inane idea of calling the guests to "see if everything's OK" for the reasons stated so well by Mr. Seminara. So far, no luck.
Obviously it's an intrusion, and of course, they always let us know when it isn't
Catherine Jan 11th 2012 9:58PM
I stayed in a hotel that permitted guests to bring their pets. The couple that had the room beside mine had 4 dogs in the room.
Allison Jan 11th 2012 9:24PM
I have travelled to many hotels with my kids' cheerleading teams and have been amazed by what the parents do and by what they let their children do! Yeh, I hate to put up with the "but all the other kids..." crap but parents need to step up and...parent. Seriously, people. And don't book birthday parties for your kids at a hotel and allow the kids to trash the room(s) and run all over the hotel and up and down the elevator all night long. Common sense--be considerate of all of the other people who pay good money to stay there to sleep.
Anthony Jan 14th 2012 1:33PM
"I have travelled to many hotels with my kids' cheerleading teams and have been amazed by what the parents do and by what they let their children do! Yeh, I hate to put up with the "but all the other kids..." crap but parents need to step up and...parent. Seriously, people. And don't book birthday parties for your kids at a hotel and allow the kids to trash the room(s) and run all over the hotel and up and down the elevator all night long. Common sense--be considerate of all of the other people who pay good money to stay there to sleep.
Why are cheerleading teams any worse than normal sports' teams?
The elevator thing isn't a big deal. The elevator doors close don't they? All the noise would be contained in there!
I assume the hotels charge the people for damages, so if they have free cash to spend, then there's no problem.
nancy Jan 11th 2012 10:14PM
We've experience several of the annoyances described here. Number 7 might be allowing the doors to slam closed, repeatedly. At the risk of sounding like an old fogey, most are entitlement issues. This is not just seen in hotels, it happens whenever there are crowds. There are always the ones who feel as if the world revolves around them and to hell with everyone else. Examples- group that congregates smack dab in the middle of a walkway, parents dropping off kids in car loop that decide to hold a conversation while others are waiting behind, asking a neverending list of questions to an employee in any situation where there are people wanting to get by....Again this is an entitlement problem and I see it getting worse as parents fail to teach children common courtesy.
Gorgeous Sexxee Mee! Jan 14th 2012 10:29PM
Yes, these are all quite irritating indeed! I have one that is also quite annoying and frustrating! Happens to us all the time! Don't you love when you're closing the curtains/drapes and they don't quite meet all the way? Then at 6 AM, where most of us know that can be the best sleep ever- the sun manages to peek through that tiny, hairline 1/8 inch crack! It is so annoying! Hubby usually tries to tie, put chair, table, something- but, never fails- nothing works. And, usually at check in- it goes unnoticed, because it's typically day time- but, yikes, that 6:00 AM sun comes awfully fast!
jean Jan 14th 2012 4:26PM
I take a large saftey pin to use on the drapes, works very well.
credd Jan 12th 2012 12:03AM
I worked at a front desk of a hotel too. The most horrific thing and probably the funniest is a guest was in the shower, someone broke in to his room and stole his wallet. The guest came running down to the front desk, wet and totally naked yelling that he had just been robbed. Well, of course I was thinking someone obviously stole his clothes. After seeing the look of shock on our faces, he looked down and realized he was naked and ran back to the room and called us instead. Hehe... How could you run out of a room naked and not know it?? :)
Snufkin Jan 18th 2012 1:02PM
I always travel with earplugs after a miserable night trying to sleep at a campground near Chichan Itza. Unfortunately the hotel/campgrounds also hosted a Korean church group who'd just arrived for some Evangelical Christian Convention. I was already tired from my own jet lag/humidity and lay there all night long seething while the Korean guests ran around shrieking, giggling, and generally acting like a bunch of kids the night before Christmas. Completely sleep deprived the next morning, I got out of my tent to stumble towards the communal bathroom and was greeted by a group of churchgoers in a circle signing the Korean version of Kumbayaa. Their prayer leader very cheerfully told me "Hello! Jesus loves you!" To which I responded, "Go to Hell." I'm sure they're very nice, churchgoing people but interfering with other people's sleep has to be a violation of one of the Ten Commandments.
RE: Breakfast Buffets. A friend who worked in the breakfast shift in a casino has said that at least at one point each morning, you'd get somebody coming in after being up all night drinking. However instead of settling the stomach, usually what happens is that they'll get the first smell of greasy breakfast food and throw up all over the warming table and buffet options.
Vegas Hotel Jan 12th 2012 1:36AM
I agree group reservations are the WORST. They usually expect a major discount and act like they are doing us a favor for staying here (umm nope I can make money with or without you, the kids and adults don’t give a care about your resort, and they want any and everything given to them. As for rude guest I make sure they get the least desirable units on the property and NO I will not move your room(s), we are sold out. For those who are polite and respectful I will give you everything I possibly can to make sure your stay is wonderful. Remeber the front desk personell have the power to make sure your stay is comfortable and enjoyable so be nice to them and remeber we cannot control EVERYTHING. One last note DO NOT show up at 8 in the am and demand to check in the answer is NO check in is at 3 or 4pm. Front Desk Supervisor 7 years and holding out strong.