A light sleeper's lament: six things you shouldn't do in a hotel

I used to be able to sleep well in the humblest of places. But the older I get, the harder it is for me to get a good night sleep while traveling. I don't know if it's because I usually travel with two toddlers, or if travelers are becoming increasingly ignorant of basic hotel etiquette, or if I'm spoiled by my Tempurpedic mattress at home, but I often find myself sleeping like a baby while on the road. That is, waking up every few hours and wanting to cry.

Here are six things you shouldn't do in hotels.

Sleep Crimes

Hit the snooze bar. As a light sleeper, I don't think hotel rooms should come equipped with alarm clocks, and certainly not ones with snooze bars. I'll never forget a truly diabolical traveler sleeping in the room next to mine in a hotel in Charlottesville, Virginia, a few years back. His alarm clock woke us up at 5 A.M. on a Sunday morning. It went off, like a siren, for about 30 seconds before he finally turned it off.

Eight minutes later, there it was again. And eight minutes after that. And again, eight minutes after that. We called down to the front desk and they sent someone up to the room, but their pounding failed to rouse the slumbering maniac. The alarm-snooze-alarm cycle continued until 6 A.M. when our neighbor finally decided to grace the world with his consciousness. But even then, it was hard to get back to sleep, because I was so irate.

Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: ten years in prison in a cell that shows nothing but Samantha Brown reruns on the Travel Channel.

Converse loudly in the hallway outside my room. It's amazing how oblivious people can be when it comes to the sound of their own voices. I once had the misfortune to say in a hotel with a huge group of senior women who belonged to a club called the Red Hat Society. On a Saturday morning at 7 A.M. two red-hats were conversing loudly about how annoying someone else was, directly outside my room. I could hear every word. I sat up in bed and listened for about ten minutes, assuming they'd soon go away. They did not, so I got out of bed, and confronted them, bleary eyed in boxers and t-shirt.

"Excuse me, but we're trying to sleep," I said. "Do you think you could keep it down, or go in a room, it's 7 A.M."

One of the red-hatted women (they really did wear red hats) smiled broadly at me and chirped, "7 o'clock, it's time to get up!"

Travelers' kangaroo court verdict: banishment to a monastery that requires a vow of silence.

Filed under: Asia, Europe, North America, United States, Hotels and Accommodations