1. The moment you sit down in your seat, be sure to recline your seat ALL the way back and leave it there, whether you are sleeping or not.
2. Keep your tray table down for the duration of the flight, and be sure to bring some really noisy, crunchy snack bag to reach into every 5 minutes; and of course, chew with your mouth open and smack your food as loudly as possible. 3. Be sure to complain about the light from the window and demand that your seatmate, who specifically chose and paid for a window seat, close the window shade all the way.
4. If flying at night, turn the overhead light on or off, depending upon the level of irritation it creates with the people seated next to you. If they are trying to sleep, use their laptop or watch the inflight movie, turn it on; if they are trying to read, complain and demand that they turn it off.
5. If you do actually fall asleep during the flight, make sure to slouch over onto your seatmate, drool profusely, and snore so loudly that you successfully irritate at least 20 people in your vicinity.
6. If you have a young child, allow them to turn around in their seat and visually harass the entire row behind you for hours, especially if they are cranky.
7. Break out the nail polish! Nothing stinks up the entire cabin more than your vitally important blood red personal beauty treatment. Make sure you spill some onto your seatmate's dressy pants and whatever you do don't bring any nail polish remover!

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