The “TSA Pokey Pokey”



What’s the best way to ensure you annoy the crap out of your friendly TSA agent the next time you head through an airport security line? Sing new song “The TSA Pokey Pokey,” just released by reason.tv. You’ll laugh (or cringe) at this parody video, made from the same guy who brought the popular DC Metro song.

Lyrics, for your enjoyment:


You put your shoes in this
you put your bag in that
you put your personal items
in a tiny plastic bag
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That’s what it’s all about!

Hi, I’m from the TSA. The only government agency that can check the status of both your flight and suppository. Not familiar with TSA security regulations? Well come on!

You put your arms like this
you spread your legs like that
we send the pictures back
and maybe to the internet
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That’s what it’s all about!

and while we check out pictures of your naked body, we’re also checking out the contents of your bag. Hmm, looks like somebody’s about to wage a jihad–against plaque!

Please put your shoes in this
Please go take off your shoes
it seems we can’t communicate
with anything that’s wearing shoes
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That’s what it’s all about!

And if you’re not comfortable with the government taking naked pictures of your body, no problem. Here’s how you opt out!

You put your rights in that
your dignity in this
we pat you up and down
cuz you don’t want the naked pics
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That’s what it’s all about!

And here at TSA we’re always employing the latest in terrorist profiling procedures. Like these!

we touch your you kid like that
we grope your kid like this
we touch them up and down
cuz they might be terrorists
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That’s what it’s all about!

You’re welcome America!