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The "TSA Pokey Pokey"
What's the best way to ensure you annoy the crap out of your friendly TSA agent the next time you head through an airport security line? Sing new song "The TSA Pokey Pokey," just released by reason.tv. You'll laugh (or cringe) at this parody video, made from the same guy who brought the popular DC Metro song.
Lyrics, for your enjoyment:
You put your shoes in this
you put your bag in that
you put your personal items
in a tiny plastic bag
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That's what it's all about!
Hi, I'm from the TSA. The only government agency that can check the status of both your flight and suppository. Not familiar with TSA security regulations? Well come on!
You put your arms like thisyou spread your legs like that
we send the pictures back
and maybe to the internet
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That's what it's all about!
and while we check out pictures of your naked body, we're also checking out the contents of your bag. Hmm, looks like somebody's about to wage a jihad--against plaque!
Please put your shoes in this
Please go take off your shoes
it seems we can't communicate
with anything that's wearing shoes
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That's what it's all about!
And if you're not comfortable with the government taking naked pictures of your body, no problem. Here's how you opt out!
You put your rights in that
your dignity in this
we pat you up and down
cuz you don't want the naked pics
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That's what it's all about!
And here at TSA we're always employing the latest in terrorist profiling procedures. Like these!
we touch your you kid like that
we grope your kid like this
we touch them up and down
cuz they might be terrorists
I do the pokey pokey
and I touch you all around
That's what it's all about!
You're welcome America!
Filed under: Video, Travel Security
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)
Stephen May 20th 2011 8:08PM
Too good...nice find.
neal May 21st 2011 10:50AM
Let's make fun of the guys who are trying to keep us alive. Nice. If you don't want to go through the security measures, drive. No one is forcing you to use air travel. Why doesn't anyone complain about getting patted down when going into concerts or sporting events?
nherent May 21st 2011 6:08PM
I was forced by my employer to use air travel. If I didn't fly, I wouldn't be able to feed my kids or pay the mortgage.
Blue Midnights May 21st 2011 6:08PM
Ask your congresscritter and ask your president (current and former) as it's their policy. Getting outraged at the people at ground level who are simply doing the job they are mandated to do (the way they are mandated to do it) is short-sighted and solves nothing.
thetoad May 22nd 2011 11:27AM
Gee Neal, I guess you must be right, and every one else on the planet is wrong - birdbrain.
Emily May 22nd 2011 12:09PM
For Andy Real. 1-The child isn't being groped. 2-The people the government is trying to protect you from will use whatever our weak spots are to accomplish their mission. Just knowing a child might be patted down may be the very thing that keeps them from using children.
bizu May 21st 2011 6:09PM
I remember when 9/11 happened... (i'm american) all of you silly "ME FIRST" americans started to whine, "OH NOOOOO POOR ME!! BOOO HOOO!! where's my security!!???" well here it is...and now you people are whining and saying "i have rights and you're touching me wrong!" UHHH hello.. people.. it's called a pat down... you're not special... these are tough times now and if you whine about a few pats to the croch that could SAVE your lives then our security will LAX again and BAM!!!!! more attacks... which are going to happen anyway... and i'm gonna sit back and laugh at you all whining again "OH NO POOR ME WHERE'S MY SECURITY!! WHY ME? WHY DID THIS HAPPEN???" oh i'll tell you... you acted like typical "i'm special" americans and no one is allowed to touch me.. it's called a PAT down.. it's there for your security GET OVER YOURSELVES!!! again... you're NOT SPECIAL!! you don't deserve special treatment!!!!!
Ron May 22nd 2011 1:18PM
I agree. . . . And if you don't want to undergo these security checks, take a bus...or a train, but we stopped supporting trains years ago, except for commuters in the northeast. Bring on the security, unless you want to allow a nut on a "flying bomb"?
Some One Who Knows May 21st 2011 6:09PM
Anti Labor Propaganda brought to you by the Koch Brothers.
Destiny May 22nd 2011 10:11AM
Funny video. To borrow from Jonathan Coulton, "That would be funny if it weren't so sad." It's hard to believe we are subjected to these abuses on a daily basis.
My husband and I no longer fly with the new regulations in place (we returned our honeymoon plane tickets and rented a car instead). It's a shame that those who have to travel for business don't have the ability to opt out of air travel altogether.
Rich May 22nd 2011 10:11AM
Thanks for giving up your seats!
That just makes more room for the normal people of the world to get a seat on the plane!
Richard May 22nd 2011 12:09PM
Wouldn't it be great if we lived in a world where people didn’t get off on the killing of others? Heck the week before last, a passenger went crazy and tried to open the plane cabin door in the middle of flight. During this same week, a plane had to make an emergency landing due to a passenger trying to beat down the locked cockpit door. What if either of these, passengers had a gun other item of destruction. TSA Officers are normal Americans doing a job that I know they would gladly give up if this world could guarantee them no person would ever try to bring a plane down and kill people. I remember some time ago where a father hid a gun in the diaper of his child. Parents use children just as much, if not more than TSA has to end up screening a child. The fact is people do stupid things and will do anything to accomplish their mission. Not too long ago, extremists were planting IED’s on special needs people, who didn’t know what they were doing and then detonating them after they were told to approach Americans. Come on America, it is easy to jump on the band wagon, but if you witnessed, just once a gun being taken away from a man, woman, or child from a flight you and your family were about to fly on you would be thankful. Thank you TSA for keeping my family safe!!
BOB May 22nd 2011 3:06PM
Well put, I am a frequent flyer and agree, thanks TSA for keeping us safe. You folks are doing a great job, keep it up.
Bill May 22nd 2011 12:36PM
I really don't think there is a need for a pat down, they have all those machines to find what they are looking for. After all, we payed for them. If you do get patted down, from the front, Piss on them, from the back, fart in there face.
Ron May 22nd 2011 1:18PM
When some kid's parent is a nut and turns the kid into a "mule" to smuggle prohibited items on board the plane.
mcgowan May 22nd 2011 1:19PM
Funny video. We subject the elderly, disabled and children to this and yet we give free health care to terrorists and their families. Wake up America!
Ron May 22nd 2011 1:18PM
Sounds like you need to be taking the "short bus."
jbjg24m May 22nd 2011 3:36PM
never been on a plane , now i know i never will
John Mournian May 22nd 2011 6:05PM
This letter is for BIZU, RON, and RICHARD.
The "pat down" is really nonsense, but I endure it just to say, "TSA Top Guys, you are
so far behind in detection that it is hilarious!" I have more than a million miles in the
air and I am 73. The X-ray machine is dangerous; ask your dentist about newer, non-
cumulative picture devices. So, I see 1st Class & whatever the Special People claim
to be, going through lines that have only metal detectors__this is LAX! I opted for a
"pat down" and I got it; that TSA guy was so nervous , he just about wet his drawers
and I did not engage in friendly conversation. I told him what was on my mind about
this crap and suggested that he inform his superiors. At same time, I see a Muslim
woman being routed through detecter and a female TSA daintily touching her clothes,
but not even getting near her head scarf. I asked, " why?" Reply__"we are not supposed
to offend their religious beliefs". Horse crap! I replied in loud voice; "we need a little
more profiling in place, particularly on East Coast where Middle Eastern and African
persons enter USA".
You three guys obviously believe whatever Uncle Sam wants you to believe, so behave
like sheep and follow the leader. Do you have any idea how many so-called "important
people" are already in possession of ID papers that permit passage without inspection?
I listened to a Congressman's staffer announce that he was so-and-so and was late
in getting aboard the plane__quick glance and he was gone! That incident took place in
San Diego Airport Commuter Terminal. So, you be good USA sheep, I will be a not
so easily fooled man and just put up with the drill and waste of time and all the other
jazz that goes with it. After your TSA inspection, traveling starts to be fun!
Smokescreen
Catblue30 May 22nd 2011 8:05PM
I'm a dental hygienist. The TSA officers are at WAY more risk for radiation exposure; but, if you knew anything about the new scanners you'd know that they aren't all radiation. As a matter of fact, some are radio waves. No radation.
And there are SOOOOO many things those machines can't detect yet. The machines basically ring an alarm for an area/item to be checked.
Seriously, do you really think TSA officers LIKE giving you a pat down??? Get over yourself. Flying is a priviledge, not a right. Drive don't wine about pat downs.