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Ten most corrupt countries of the world
WARNING: You may need to bring a bit of fire power for some of these destinations.
1. Somalia: Is this even a country? It has no real government to speak of, not to mention a history of piracy, mob violence, warlord brutality and kidnapping. So, chew a little khat to take the edge off.
The Good News: You can't really break any laws where there aren't any.
2. Myanmar: Okay, the human rights issue here is pretty severe, and the military regime is known for being among the most repressive and abusive in the world. So, don't complain about the thread-count in your hotel.
The Good News: There's plenty of wildlife to enjoy as a result of slow economic growth. A bleak financial outlook is good for the environment!
The Good News: There are several options for civilian flights. Also, fishing is fine, but you can't use hand grenades.
4. Iraq: Again with the war ... The easiest way to get there is to wear a uniform, but that will make bribing your way out of trouble far more difficult.
The Good News: Prostitutes may not be in abundance, but if you have an itch in Baghdad, you'll probably find someone to help you scratch it.
5. Uzbekistan: The CIA describes the government as "authoritarian presidential rule." Is there really anything else you need to know? Yes, there is: Uzbekistan has a nasty human trafficking problem.
The Good News: Uzbekistan's currency is the Ubekistani soum – that's what you'll use to bribe your way out of trouble.
6. Turkmenistan: Uzbekistan's neighbor is no prize, either. Instead of trading in skin, though, Turkmenistan prefers drugs. It's described in the CIA World Factbook as a "transit country for Afghan narcotics bound for Russia and Western European markets."
The Good News: If you're in the heroin business, this is a crucial stop in your supply chain. If you're not, well, there isn't a whole lot of reason to care about the place.
7. Sudan: The global financial crisis of 2008 actually affected this country. Until then, money was flowing in just as fast as oil could flow out. Then, economies crumbled around the world, which dealt a nasty blow to the country.
The Good News: There's at least one form of equal rights in Sudan: both men and women can be drafted into military service.
8. Chad: Why is Chad so corrupt? Well, this may have something to do with the human trafficking problem, which the country "is not making any significant efforts" to address. Rebel groups in the country add to the likelihood for mayhem.
The Good News: Chad ranks 190 worldwide in terms of GDP, which means your bribe dollars will go much further than in more developed nations.
9. Burundi: A dispute with Rwanda over sections of the border they share has resulted in various conflicts and a spirit of lawlessness that will make your own nefarious plans pale in comparison.
The Good News: Though landlocked, there is probably some great real estate alongside Lake Tanganyika.
10. Equatorial Guinea: Any country that has failed to try to combat human trafficking is probably a top spot for corruption, so it isn't surprising that Equatorial Guinea made the top 10.
The Good News: Government officials and their families own most of the businesses in the country, so any broad complaints can be addressed by a handful of people.
[photo by The U.S. Army via Flickr]