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SkyMall Monday: Body Back Buddy

by Mike Barish (RSS feed) on Aug 30th 2010 at 1:00PM

Portability has been the driving force behind most technological innovations in the last few decades. Phones became mobile. Those mobile phones became smaller. Computers begat laptops which begat netbooks which could possibly become antiquated if tablets have anything to say about it. Not all tools have been made portable, though. Sadly, coat racks remain stationary devices despite the fact that our jackets exist solely to be taken places. Yet, when the time comes to take a coat off in a car, plane or any other warm/indoor place, there's no rack on which to hang those coats.

How is this possible? How are we not taking coat racks with us to handle our removed jackets? Why are we still tying our outerwear around our waists as if we're Joey Lawrence? Finally, we can stop asking those philosophical questions because our long nightmare is over. The coat rack has gone portable and we have SkyMall to thank for bringing this technology into the 21st century. This week, SkyMall Monday is beyond excited to feature an invention that will forever change how you hang your coats when you leave the house. Feast your eyes on the Body Back Buddy.

While it may seem strange to name a portable coat rack the "Body Back Buddy," it's pretty logical when you think about it. I mean, you wear coats on your body so that they cover your back. Something that holds those precious coats once they've been removed is clearly your buddy. So, yeah, the name isn't odd at all. It's fantastic.

Think that a portable coat rack is an idiotic idea? Think that people should just wear their coats all the time? If that's the case, why do they make malls so hot in the winter? Think about that while you're reading the product description:

Our most popular design reflects years of feedback from massage therapists, chiropractors, and physical therapists. With 11 therapy knobs, the Body Back Buddy stimulates in between muscles and pinpoints trigger points for a more finely-tuned treatment.

The Body Back Buddy is engineered to be lightweight, strong and easy to use. This portable massager combines the best of the Body Back Buddy features for those who want the ultimate self massage tool.

Wait. It's a personal massager? Then why does it look like a coat rack*? What the hell's a therapy knob? I'm so confused.

Well, whatever this thing does, it does it well. And it's portable. Portability is key. That's why you need the Body Back Buddy.

* I know you're thinking, "Mike, it looks like a dildo tree. Why didn't you make more jokes about that?" I couldn't disagree with you more. It looks like a dildo vine. Believe me, I wanted to write this whole post about how the Body Back Buddy is clearly a sex toy sent from the future to protect me from the other sex toys that will one day become sentient and destroy us all. Sadly, though, the last time I made SkyMall Monday that sexual, the internet threw up in the comments section. So, instead you got this coat rack post. Hope you're happy, prudes!

Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.

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Reader Comments (Page 3 of 3)

Bobo Sep 1st 2010 2:16AM

I'm not surprised that you can't even spell the word correctly. Or that you found the article funny. As a writer, I'm appalled at this pathetic attempt at humor. Someone else posted that it was too much lead in, not enough payoff. I couldn't agree more...I don't care if the guy curses, as long as he's entertaining in some way. Fail.

Kixagi Sep 1st 2010 2:55AM

amazing article the writer is perfect. Great job Mike Barish. look up my article page on facebook i dont suggest it to people i want it to grow on its own. its Useless News Articles

Elrweirdo Sep 1st 2010 3:20AM

Wow! I cannot believe, some of the comments on this post, Mike, about your review! Obviously, I'm speaking of such "posts", as the likes of "disgusted mom", "Lori" and others that are evidently so "anal retentive" and sexually deprived, that one "could not remover a straight pin from their anal orifice, even when using a backhoe to do the pulling"!
Your review was GREAT and as the NORMAL and WELL ADJUSTED posters, stated too, "It made me laugh out loud" as well!
And, I agree with your assumptions "that it damn well, looks just like a portable coat rack, AS WELL AS a sex toy".
I feel very, very, sorry for these posters on here, that "are freaked out, because you didn't write a "PG LEVEL REVIEW" and they're "upset about that". When why did they bother reading your review all the way through to begin with? And, what's with what someone said............."especially when there's a young person nearby"!?!
PERHAPS, (to this particular person), "If you were a bit more open and honest and MATURE about such topics as "sex and sexuality",your child won't grow up believing that "human nature " ISN'T a "Nasty, no-no, dirty poo-poo, don't EVER talk out loud about it", part of normal human existence!?
So, keep up the great and very humorous reviews, Mike! I surely didn't read any "foul language", let alone any "rated X descriptive wordings", anywhere in your review.
Like another said..............."It may be my first time, here, but after reading and enjoying THIS review, I'll be back again, again and again!
Good Job!

Loren Sep 1st 2010 4:58AM

I love Sky Mall and have bought many products. The only draw back is I believe they give out your info. Once I ordered from them I started getting mail from all kinds of companies. But so what I throw it away if I don't want it and some of the catalogs are cool.

Jenifer Sep 1st 2010 9:41AM

You have just earned a new reader - I must admit I was drawn to the article from the mere fact that no one I know has ever bought anything from sky mail, but the humor made it all worth it. By the way, I was thinking the same thing...

Mike Barish Sep 1st 2010 9:42AM

Thanks for the kind words. I hope that you'll check out the SkyMall Monday archive here: http://www.gadling.com/tag/skymall-monday

nellie Sep 6th 2010 7:40PM

I purchased something similar to this from my chiropractor. It didn't have the extra knobs, just an S shaped rod. It applies pressureon parts of your upper back and shoulders. It is pretty effective for those tight shoulders, where alot of us carry our stress. Just FYI. If anyboby is interested. Oh and the price was only $20.00.