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SkyMall Monday: Body Back Buddy
Portability has been the driving force behind most technological innovations in the last few decades. Phones became mobile. Those mobile phones became smaller. Computers begat laptops which begat netbooks which could possibly become antiquated if tablets have anything to say about it. Not all tools have been made portable, though. Sadly, coat racks remain stationary devices despite the fact that our jackets exist solely to be taken places. Yet, when the time comes to take a coat off in a car, plane or any other warm/indoor place, there's no rack on which to hang those coats. How is this possible? How are we not taking coat racks with us to handle our removed jackets? Why are we still tying our outerwear around our waists as if we're Joey Lawrence? Finally, we can stop asking those philosophical questions because our long nightmare is over. The coat rack has gone portable and we have SkyMall to thank for bringing this technology into the 21st century. This week, SkyMall Monday is beyond excited to feature an invention that will forever change how you hang your coats when you leave the house. Feast your eyes on the Body Back Buddy.
Think that a portable coat rack is an idiotic idea? Think that people should just wear their coats all the time? If that's the case, why do they make malls so hot in the winter? Think about that while you're reading the product description:
Our most popular design reflects years of feedback from massage therapists, chiropractors, and physical therapists. With 11 therapy knobs, the Body Back Buddy stimulates in between muscles and pinpoints trigger points for a more finely-tuned treatment.
The Body Back Buddy is engineered to be lightweight, strong and easy to use. This portable massager combines the best of the Body Back Buddy features for those who want the ultimate self massage tool.
Wait. It's a personal massager? Then why does it look like a coat rack*? What the hell's a therapy knob? I'm so confused.
Well, whatever this thing does, it does it well. And it's portable. Portability is key. That's why you need the Body Back Buddy.
* I know you're thinking, "Mike, it looks like a dildo tree. Why didn't you make more jokes about that?" I couldn't disagree with you more. It looks like a dildo vine. Believe me, I wanted to write this whole post about how the Body Back Buddy is clearly a sex toy sent from the future to protect me from the other sex toys that will one day become sentient and destroy us all. Sadly, though, the last time I made SkyMall Monday that sexual, the internet threw up in the comments section. So, instead you got this coat rack post. Hope you're happy, prudes!
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 3)
Mike Barish Aug 31st 2010 12:29PM
Thanks lyung!
jimbarry1946 Aug 31st 2010 1:29PM
HUH???????????? Is this supposed to be cute? I guess I'm too old to be reading gadling.
tana green Aug 31st 2010 2:36PM
Portable? How so? If you put it in your luggage you would surely end up being strip searched and added to the watch list. And if you tried to carry it on...
Disgusted Mom Aug 31st 2010 3:01PM
No, it isn't that any one posting against the review hasn't had sex in a while, it's that the AOL welcome screen and links from it should be a "sex free" zone. Trust me though, I won't be reading any sky mall or other AOL welcome screen links anymore!!
tim Aug 31st 2010 4:21PM
Well, Mike we know where your gutter mind is, and your 7th grade writing skills need much improvement. How people like you hold down jobs is a mystery to me.
J Aug 31st 2010 3:20PM
I don't understand why people have to be so damn uptight!!! This article had me cracking up. If your articles are like this everytime, I will be a lifelong fan :-)
Mike Barish Aug 31st 2010 3:20PM
J - You can check out the SkyMall Monday archive here: http://www.gadling.com/tag/skymall-monday
Hope you enjoy & thanks!
David Aug 31st 2010 4:29PM
I had the exact same reaction to the article as Emily - I thought it was hilarious. The "You are a prude" thing was a little heavy, assuming that Emily didn't know Disgusted Mom (who gives their kid a name like Disgusted Mom anyway - there are some sick people in this world). Without knowing Disgusted Mom I think the most Emily should have said about her is that "she has prudish tendancies" or "she tends toward prudism" or something mild like that.
Anyway, funny, funny article. The only complaint i have is that Mike has now raised the public awareness of this "coat rack" (wink, wink) to the point where my wife could get wind of it and if she does, I could be out of a job.
XYZ Aug 31st 2010 4:27PM
This product has been around for ages by another company, and it is called the Back Knobber. This product does not appear to be exactly the same, having numerous other extensions on it. But its purpose is essentially the same. The other product was outstanding for relieving muscle spasms (knots) in the upper back and other areas that one can't reach oneself, when alone. It also is more effective than just using a fingertip to massage out a muscle spasm, so its useful even for areas of the leg or arm that otherwise could be reached. This appears to be a new (and complicated) twist on a previously streamlined product. As for the write-up, it is childish and immature.
HLH Aug 31st 2010 6:26PM
Great story, Mike. I laughed until I was crying. A little naughty humor doesn't hurt anyone - we are all adults...
Your pal, Erin Aug 31st 2010 5:04PM
I appreciate the humorous spirit of the article, but you spent too much time setting up the joke to properly knock it down.
George Aug 31st 2010 5:11PM
I have something better than a costly someone strange idea. Let me come over for a small fee and let this 275 lbs walk your back just to straighten you out.LOL/ROFMAO
patardugno Aug 31st 2010 6:04PM
Try to take that on a plane! See how far you walk! I wouldn't even let someone walk around in a Mall with that thing! It's obviously a weapon!
Matt of the Future Sep 1st 2010 12:22AM
Dear Mr. Barish,
We, the makers of the Orgasmatron-3000 wish you good tidings in your century! Hopefully the amazing Dildo Vine(TM) that went sent back through time has reached you and spread world peace and harmony and orgasms, as it has been written in our history books!
Enjoy in good health and don't worry, your kids will make you proud, eventually.
Matt of the Future
EVP - Antebellum Product Placement and Marketing
Tycho Brae Industries, Inc.
Mars Colony 12
Linda Aug 31st 2010 10:37PM
The front end looks quite promising as an interesting adult toy, and the numerous other protrusions will appeal to a very diverse group. If this thing ALSO help back pain, I say its a winner!! PS. I bought my favorite pair of slippers ever from SkyMall during a 6 hour delay. Their product selections are really great and this one is..well.. very unique and could make for a more enjoyable flight!
disappointed Aug 31st 2010 10:55PM
Really, AOL? Dildo stories right on your front page? This is perhaps the worst article ever written. Why not expose the millions of children that use AOL to dildo jokes? It's funny right?
It's no wonder people by the boat load are leaving AOL for Gmail.
Crystal Sep 1st 2010 12:03AM
They cannot be serious with this thing. I can't decide whether this article is being factitious or for real! Anybody?
FarmerJohn Sep 1st 2010 1:00AM
I have owned one of these now for over a year. Dispite this thing having a falloc appearance, It is really great! It is a lifesaver for getting those hard to reach points on my back.
Bobo Sep 1st 2010 1:40AM
Somebody paid you to write this shit? Not funny, not entertaining, not enlightening. What the fuck?
hayley Sep 1st 2010 1:50AM
I am surprized you would have a problem with this article as your vocabulary is far worse than what I saw in the post. An article finding humor in a horribly designed item (that quite frankly does look like a dildo vine) is far better than your diarrhea filled rant. Get over yourself, SERIOUSLY!