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SkyMall Monday: Body Back Buddy
Portability has been the driving force behind most technological innovations in the last few decades. Phones became mobile. Those mobile phones became smaller. Computers begat laptops which begat netbooks which could possibly become antiquated if tablets have anything to say about it. Not all tools have been made portable, though. Sadly, coat racks remain stationary devices despite the fact that our jackets exist solely to be taken places. Yet, when the time comes to take a coat off in a car, plane or any other warm/indoor place, there's no rack on which to hang those coats. How is this possible? How are we not taking coat racks with us to handle our removed jackets? Why are we still tying our outerwear around our waists as if we're Joey Lawrence? Finally, we can stop asking those philosophical questions because our long nightmare is over. The coat rack has gone portable and we have SkyMall to thank for bringing this technology into the 21st century. This week, SkyMall Monday is beyond excited to feature an invention that will forever change how you hang your coats when you leave the house. Feast your eyes on the Body Back Buddy.
Think that a portable coat rack is an idiotic idea? Think that people should just wear their coats all the time? If that's the case, why do they make malls so hot in the winter? Think about that while you're reading the product description:
Our most popular design reflects years of feedback from massage therapists, chiropractors, and physical therapists. With 11 therapy knobs, the Body Back Buddy stimulates in between muscles and pinpoints trigger points for a more finely-tuned treatment.
The Body Back Buddy is engineered to be lightweight, strong and easy to use. This portable massager combines the best of the Body Back Buddy features for those who want the ultimate self massage tool.
Wait. It's a personal massager? Then why does it look like a coat rack*? What the hell's a therapy knob? I'm so confused.
Well, whatever this thing does, it does it well. And it's portable. Portability is key. That's why you need the Body Back Buddy.
* I know you're thinking, "Mike, it looks like a dildo tree. Why didn't you make more jokes about that?" I couldn't disagree with you more. It looks like a dildo vine. Believe me, I wanted to write this whole post about how the Body Back Buddy is clearly a sex toy sent from the future to protect me from the other sex toys that will one day become sentient and destroy us all. Sadly, though, the last time I made SkyMall Monday that sexual, the internet threw up in the comments section. So, instead you got this coat rack post. Hope you're happy, prudes!
Check out all of the previous SkyMall Monday posts HERE.
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
Mikeachim Aug 30th 2010 2:40PM
What worries me is what happens when someone grabs the pokey-out end and tugs on it. I have just consulted a medical doctor on this issue and it is his opinion that when pulled as a joke, this device will cause the human body to break apart and explode with enough force to create a crater 15 feet deep.
Obviously this changes things dramatically on the sex-vine side of things.
Katja Aug 30th 2010 4:19PM
That picture makes it look like a bad prop from a sci-fi film. Something to do with two-headed blue plastic aliens that leap up and strangle people for no good reason at all. The poor girl's doing her best to drag it off by the tail, but I fear it's a losing battle ...
alex smith Aug 31st 2010 7:24AM
Maybe you should consult with another therapist. This item works very well especially on trigger points. What's next criticising leg braces? How old are you? Maybe if you had some aches and pains you would be a little bit more conservative in your comments.
Bill Aug 31st 2010 7:42AM
I think that I'll wait for the movie.
Shefilly Aug 31st 2010 4:11PM
OMG, I am laughing so hard that I can hardly see to type this! First I laughed at the story and then I laughed at the comments! And I thought I didn't have a life until I read some of the uptight, disparaging comments made about the article. Come on, people, it is funny! What is with you? I feel so sorry for you...lighten up or at least don't try to be a downer to those of us who have a sense of humor!
Chuck Aug 31st 2010 8:57AM
i think the author of this article is a moron.
buglebob Aug 31st 2010 9:11AM
One of the most worthless stories ever here !
Big Bob in Brandon
lking4trbl Aug 31st 2010 10:46AM
I really wouldn't worry about the opinion of anyone who refers to himself as "big bob." His perspective is probably a little off anyway.
Hugh Jassol Aug 31st 2010 9:20AM
Undoubtedly, the stupidest thing I've ever seen. This is a joke, right, Mike? RIGHT?
Ray Aug 31st 2010 9:32AM
I've purchased a couple of items through SkyMall that were not only very usefull but, unusual and hard to find elsewhere.
Lori Aug 31st 2010 10:27AM
I expected to read about something useful to help a bad back and got a low-brained article about a device that looks like a sex toy. Is that all we have on our mind now?
It spoke little about the benefits but was a sad attempt at humor.
annie Aug 31st 2010 10:52AM
I'm with ya there, Lori....turn that thing upside down and it's definitely "body friendly"...lol
Jeanie Aug 31st 2010 10:36AM
Sheesh, stupid story
Disgusted Mom Aug 31st 2010 10:41AM
Once again, you've missed the mark! If you can't rate products without bringing sex into the equation then find a job at a sex toy site and not one about Sky Mall products. People reading these reviews expect them to be about the product and PG for anyone to read, including the youngster sitting nearby; however, you must be a pervert to always try to figure out some angle that brings sex into the picture. The fact that we don't like it doesn't make us "prudes", it makes us consumers who want a legitimate review. It makes you truly wonder why they haven't fired you!!!
Emily Aug 31st 2010 3:33PM
You are a prude, you should probably come to terms with this.
Mike, this is hilarious. This is the first article I've read by you, but I will most definitely be looking for more. I actually laughed out loud at my desk!
lking4trbl Aug 31st 2010 10:51AM
I really can't get over the number of uptight people that continue to read your reviews, Mike. They obviously have no sense of humor. In fact, I can hear their anuses retracting from here. Or maybe it's just the crack in the ozone layer. Hard to tell.
Anyway...if anyone out there needs a dildo vine, it's most of the people posting on here. They obviously haven't had any sexual release in a while.
kro Aug 31st 2010 11:01AM
I have something similar to this, green and with only one hook, that I bought from my physical therapist a couple of years ago to get the knots out of my shoulder blades and low back. I think it's a FANTASTIC invention. It released my muscles SO easily and my husband and kids no longer had to stick their thumbs in my shoulder blades or walk on my back! They were getting tired of my requests. I used it several times a day at first, then several times a week, and now not at all. Between doing stretches and walking several times a week, I keep my sciatic and low back pain (and all the knots that go with it) minimal or non-existent, and I have not had to go back to PT (and saved costs). I would HIGHLY recommend this product to anyone who has to have regular massages or PT for those tight bumps and knots throughout shoulders and back!
Joe LeVine Aug 31st 2010 12:07PM
Sex Toy!?!!!!?? This is clearly a coat rack/ back massager to be used in the sixty-nine position people; hence the "S" shape. Get your head out of the gutters and back to looking at the pretty clouds as you cruise over them at 600 mph.
Autumn Sep 1st 2010 8:37AM
I just put coffee threw my nose reading this.
lyung Aug 31st 2010 12:28PM
Damn, Mike, even when you try not to get the Internet to throw up in the comments page...
Oh well, I still look forward to your wise-ass reviews every Monday :)