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Galley Gossip: Captain A-rod and the cat lady from hell!

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on May 21st 2010 at 9:30AM

I should have known it was going to be a weird flight when the captain introduced himself as A-rod. Short, round and graying, he stood in the galley massaging the shoulders of a tense looking flight attendant. When the agent walked on board with paperwork, the flight attendant quickly slid out of A-rod's reach and eagerly asked. "Ready to board?"

Boarding, for a flight attendant, is the most hectic and difficult phase of flight, and would you believe we're not even getting paid until the aircraft door is closed and the airplane backs away from the gate! It's true. What makes it stressful is the pressure to get full flights staffed with minimum crew out on time. No longer are there extra flight attendants floating around to help passengers the way there once was years ago. Either we're setting up a galley or keeping an eye on our exit doors. And by the time a full load settles into their seats and flight attendants can finally move freely up and down the aisle, we're usually just a few minutes away from taxiing out.

Enter the cat lady. I spotted her right away during the boarding process. Now I love cats. I even own a sixteen pound Maine Coon named Gatsby, so I'm a bit of a cat lady myself. What I don't love are - not passengers who bring on board pets that don't fit under the seat in front of them (it happens), but passengers who don't tell us when their pets don't fit under the seat until the last minute, like a woman did on a flight a few years ago! That cat wound up in the first class coat closet for take off. So when I spotted this newest cat lady with a large hard case carrier, I asked if it would fit under the seat in front of her.

"It should," she said matter of fact. "I went to the airline's website to check the measurements under the seat."

Sounded good to me.

Well not only did the carrier not fit under the seat, an aisle seat, nobody with a middle seat wanted to split from their traveling companion. Cat lady turned red. In the aisle she stood yelling at me because my airline had "lied" to her and now I needed to make things right! Honestly, I was trying, but she wasn't making it easy screaming at me like that. To make matters worse, the agent started making a PA asking everyone - her - to take their seats. That's when it seemed like just about everybody seated in a five row radius began claiming to have severe cat allergies.

Quickly I walked up the aisle to report what was going on to the captain and the frazzled agent, but along the way a passenger waved me down to ask if his dog had been boarded. He'd seen it sitting in its crate on the tarmac and was worried. I told him I'd be right back.

"If the guy with the dog is wearing a red baseball cap, I already told him his dog was on board," said A-rod. "It's a big brown dog, right?"

I had no idea what it looked like, and was just about to tell him so when the agent interrupted us and asked, "Are you going to take the delay Captain?"

A delay is bad news at an airline. And someone has to take the heat. This is why flight attendants and agents start making back to back PA's asking passengers to step into the aisle when stowing their bags and to take their seats as quickly as possible for an on time departure. Otherwise fingers start pointing. Flight attendants, gate agents, mechanics, cabin cleaners, we're all guilty of trying to place the blame on another department. Get docked with too many delays and one could very well lose their job. It's that serious.

I didn't wait to hear A-rod's response, I quickly walked back to coach and asked the dog owner if his dog was big and brown. He just looked at me. Then he told me the breed, as if that meant something to me. I tried again. "Is that breed of dog normally big and brown?"

He smirked. "Yeah."

"Your dog is on the plane." One down, one more to go.

Only when I finally reached the cat lady, I couldn't believe what I saw. Somehow, I don't know how, the other flight attendants had moved passengers around in order to accomodate the cat under a middle seat. In doing so, the cat lady now had an entire row all to herself.

Just as I started to relax, a passenger tugged on my sleeve. "Excuse me, Miss, I want to know what that woman paid for her seat!"

I started to tell him I had no idea what she paid for her seat, or what anyone paid for that matter, when another passenger piped in with, "Did she buy one seat or three?"

Across the aisle a woman yelled, "I don't think it's fair that she gets her own row while the rest of us have to suffer!"

On the verge of a mutiny, I tried calming the passengers down. It wasn't easy. Did I happen to mention we hadn't even taken off yet? And that boarding sets the tone for the flight? Oh yeah. Welcome aboard. Now where the heck was A-rod when you really needed a massage?

Tips for traveling with pets on the plane:

1. Book flights early. Only a certain number of pets are allowed in the cabin at one time.

2. Check the airline's website for pet policies and maximum dimensions for carriers. (21 inches long X 13 to 16 inches wide X 9 inches high seems to be the standard)

3. Purchase a flexible pet carrier or "bag" as these tend to fit better under seats than hard case carriers. (If checking a pet in cargo, only hard case carriers are accepted.)

4. Choose a middle or window seat, as the space under aisle seats tend to be narrower.

5. Pets are required to stay inside their carriers throughout the flight. Make sure it's ventilated on both sides.

6. Line the carrier with an absorbent material like "puppy pads" in case of an accident.

7. Make sure your pet is wearing an identification tag.

8. Personalize your pet. Put a sign on the carrier that reads, "Hi, I'm a cat and my name is____ . This is my first flight."

Photos courtesy of Erica.Hargreave

Filed under: Airlines, Galley Gossip

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

virginia.sprayboat May 21st 2010 1:39PM

Thank you for the heads up regarding what it takes to get aloft. I guess I won't be snatching my daughters new kitty (tempting he is so cute) for my trip back from Hawaii next week, but I will be speedy getting settled on the plane!

Kevin May 21st 2010 6:37PM

Heh. Sounds like A-Rod could have been a bigger problem - at least to the FAs!

Kevin

chris May 22nd 2010 3:54AM

It amazes me that with all the US flight restrictions that pets are still allowed in the cabin.

Also, what is the history behind not getting paid until the door shuts? That seems like an odd way to define your work hours. Why not from pax boarding, or when you board the aircraft?

gretchen Jun 4th 2010 7:19PM

when i worked as a fa, we were required to check in 45min prior to flight departure, and stay 15min after my last passenger left the plane. we only got paid for wheels up to wheels down. And we were paid per diem ($1.20/hr) from the 45min prior to the 15min after the last pax...yep - I recieved a whopping $1.20/hr for the headache of boarding and deplaning. Don't get me started on all the flight delays - up you guessed it...if we had a deicing or a take off delay ---not paid for that. I flew 100flt hrs a month, w/approx 400extra hrs of time away from base per month...and earned a whooping $15,000 my first yr of flying. Fun job, no pay and lots of crabby travelers.

J May 23rd 2010 6:23AM

I only wish the airlines would get their policies together. Sometimes it's this way, other times it's that way...the rules seem to depend on the flight attendant, check in or gate agent you happen to get that day. International flight attendants are way more into pets and even let mine sit on the seat and were bringing it water. I cannot sit in first class because my soft carrier does not fit under the seat.

I WOULD PAY for a seat for my dog if I could because I end up paying almost a full fare anyway with all the fees and vet cert's. I am tired of people complaining about pets on airlines. It's like complaining that you sat next to a baby and their seat is usually for free. I am always courteous, ask if the people near me are allergic and most people do not even know I have a dog until we land and he pops his head out. Knock on wood, I have never had someone give me a difficult time.

I recently had my dog and sat next to a six week old baby. There were no problems with either.

ona May 23rd 2010 10:45AM

i have many good pet stories, but my best happened on a flight to chicago. we had a woman who would not put her cat in the carrier. she argued and argued about it. i finally told her we would not leave unless she put the cat in the carrier and then under the seat in front of her or she could get off the plane. now 'j' this is where i answer your question about all the different rules and why some flight attendants will let you do it and why some don't. all airlines require you to keep your pet in the carrier at all times. you must keep the container closed at all times. if the flight attendant lets you take out your pet then she runs the risk of getting fired and she makes life harder on her fellow flight attendants who will then have to put up with the customer telling them that they where able to let the cat out on the last flight. the customer will then give the flight attendant doing her job a really hard time and probably write a nasty letter about her. flight attendants reallly hate flight attendants that do this kind of thing. i always ask for the flight and the date that this flight attendant allowed them to break the rules and then i write them up myself. i didn't use to write flight attendants up, but after years of having to put up with the nasty consequences i finally decided to put a stop to it. i am sure that most people know what i mean. we all work with someone who doesn't do their job right but it always comes around to bite someone else in the hinney. now back to my story. when we landed in chicago i decided to use the terminal restroom (airplane potties are very gross and must be avoided at all cost. even if you have to buy a new pair of panties.) i was just getting up from the throne when a hair ball came running through my stall. i reached down and grabbed the hair ball by the back of its neck, finished zipping my zipper and stepped out ready to return the cat to it's owner. quess who's cat it was. of course it belonged to the lady on my flight. i handed her cat back to her and told her that this is why we don't let animals out of their carriers.she was pretty embarrassed. all animals are required to remain in carriers because other people are allergic to them. there has also been times when a normally friendly pet has bitten someone, because they are freaked out about all the traveling. sometimes it is just to keep the pet from getting loose and then making the flight attendants run around like fools trying to catch your pet.most of us love animals, but use your common sense when traveling with them. chris , the answer is the railroad commission. they truley railroad you. it looks better for the airline. they can make everyone believe they are over paying us when in fact we may have only been paid a couple of hours pay for working up to 16 hours. it sounds good. i tell someone my hourly pay and they can't believe how lucky i am. but if you looked at my trip i only got paid for a fraction of the time i was at work. example ; check in 4:45 am, 15 minutes to get to the plane from the crew room. must be on airplane 45 minutes to an hour before departure. check equipment, supplies and make sure there are no threats to the flight. start boarding 35-45 minutes before departure, close doors. now the flight could be as short as 29 minutes or as long as 15 hours. let's do the 1 hour flight. land spend 25-35 minutes deplaning. then we have the fun 3-4 hours of airport appreciation. this is when you are stuck in a airport with no place to hide or closr your eyes. we do this for free. then you start the boarding over again and fly another hour. deplaning is another 25-30 minute and lets say you can go home after this.( ha!ha!)you may have just worked 6-7 hours and recieved 2 hours of pay. now that high hourly wage doesn't sound so great does it. love the job , but i think things would be a lot nicer if people knew the truth. or if the public knew about the stuff we know about. there are good reasons for the rules we have. if your flight attendant isn't following the rules then you should be worried about what else she doesn't do. maybe she didn't check the emergency equipment and you won't have any emergency oxygen on board. or the defibilater is missing and she didn't catch it. maybe the slide on the door is bad and is unusable in an evacuation.hey! maybe she didn't catch some guy acting wierd who was trying to light his wienny on fire.