19 perfect dive bars

Salty Dawg Saloon - Homer, Alaska
The buoys strung up on the outside of Salty Dawg Saloon, found inside a plain log and thatch cabin, hardly scream party time, but the partiers on the inside sure as heck do. The walls have thousands of dollar bills stapled to them, each one uniquely decorated by the patron who posted it. In true Alaska dive style, the floors are covered in sawdust. If you're feeling frisky, you could even order a Salty Dog. The bar isn't named for the drink, but they do serve them.

Neptune's Net - Malibu, California
Despite this bar's location in upscale Malibu, Neptune's Net is a bit of a dive. You've got to fight (sometimes literally) for a table, it's crowded with bikers, and the restrooms are of the portable variety. But it's got some amazing fried seafood and beers a plenty. Plus, the outside tables have gorgeous views of the Pacific Ocean.

Crossroads Bar & Grill - South Royalton, Vermont
It's dark, it's dank, and it's darling. Crossroads is the perfect dive bar where you could wile away a night, or an entire winter, given the local weather patterns. Set in the small and idyllic town of South Royalton, this bar is a meeting place for long time locals and cerebral students from the nearby Vermont Law School. There's even a collection of offensive bumper stickers posted behind the bar, if you forget your reading material.

Gentleman Jim's - Gaithersburg, Maryland
It's not often you get a dive bar with two floors of drinking, but they've managed to make it happen in this industrial complex tavern. Upstairs is a small, windowless bar with a bit of a Cheers feel, since the variety of the patrons tends to be limited. Downstairs is the restaurant area with a service bar open to the public. What makes this place worth mentioning is the pizza -- square, with sweet tomato sauce and a swiss cheese blend. Try it on a Monday or Tuesday for half price, and the happy hours are competitive as well.

The Alley Cantina - Taos, New Mexico
If it weren't for the local crowd, a ratty old games collection, and $2.50 margaritas every day from 5 to 7, the Alley Cantina might not have even qualified as a dive. But thanks to the shuffleboard, crooked pool table, and some old french game where you've got to flick checkers around with your thumb, this is the perfect place to hang out and have a beer, or five. They've even got food, if you're into fried.

The Broken Spoke - Austin, Texas
The Broken Spoke has become legendary, perhaps regrettably to its loyal local clientele. It's claim to fame is its long affair with country music, with legends like Willie Nelson having made regular appearances through the years. It's got a country dance hall vibe, and they even offer blue plate special lunches to stick with the theme. Not a bad place to have a couple beers and get rowdy.

Norton Rats - Cusco, Peru
You might not guess that you could find a biker bar in a South American town at an elevation of 11,000 feet but, lo and behold, you can. There is simply no explanation for Norton Rats other than divine providence. They offer a wide selection of beer, and a view of the main plaza in Cusco from the narrow balconies. Flags from a hundred countries are nailed to the ceiling, giving you something to look at when your drinks get to you early due to the altitude. Even if the place has a bit of a divey vibe, its a welcome respite for travelers who have made it this far into the wild.

-- The above was written by Writing Kimberly, Seed contributor.

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Malachy's - New York, New York
Malachy's might be the most miserable place on Earth. Horrendous lighting, depressed staff, despondent clientele and a perfect Guinness every time. The fat, juicy 1/2 lb. burger is real good too. Somehow, the cook has been spared.

Nolan's - Long Beach, New York
A free standing shack made of old cedar, Nolan's looks like even the faintest ocean breeze will knock it over. Trashed motocycles and cars litter the adjacent lot. Every lifer in the place is crusty and pissed off. Coldest bottle of Bud ever served. Step out into the sun, across the street and stumble to the beach.

The Goat Hill Tavern - Costa Mesa, California
The Goat Hill Tavern, an out-of-the-way hole in Los Angeles Southern California, might be the region's greatest anti-attraction. Hundreds of tap beers, cramped quarters, stale smoke and that God awful dive bar smell. Top it all off with the wannabe screenwriter next to you stirring his vodka with his finger while plotting his next "murder the movie exec" thriller at one in the afternoon. Lights, Camera, Misery!

PJ's Pub - Baltimore, Maryland
Is PJ's Pub the best daytime watering hole in history? Homemade Bloody Mary's and baskets spicy Old Bay dusted steamed shrimp at noon chase away any hangover. Hours pass effortlessly until the Johns Hopkins engineering geeks and Lacrosse studs start to file in for their nightly revelry. Guys, if you're lucky, maybe a girl will even show up.

Mission Hill Saloon - San Francisco, California
Mission Hill is the "Cheers" of dive bars. Dark, dingy and depressingly plain - but the misery stops there. Ice, ice cold beers served by good people. Excellent jukebox and locals that have no problem making you feel like a local.

The Cat's Eye Pub - Baltimore, Maryland
Ah, the Cat's Eye Pub. You can't move, you can't breathe. Old salts stare you down and threaten with daggers. Old cougars troll for new meat. Killer blues bands play way too loud, right in your ear. The lost leg of a dead sea captain hangs above the men's urinal. Fun!

The Bronx Bar - Detroit, Michigan
The Bronx Bar is in the "happening" part of town, whatever that means. Great tunes, cold beers. Ultimately, it just looks real cool and divey from the outside. Pure American depression. Rejoice!

Catacombs Bar - Boulder, Colorado
Catacombs Bar is huge hole in the ground - literally. On a weeknight, it feels like "Land of the Lost." Spacious and desolate, an alcoholic paleontologist's dream. Tunes echo from the juke, drinks are served by pretentious, cruncher wannabes who are too cool for school. "Is there anybody out there?"

McSorley's - New York, New York
Step down off street level and into history at McSorley's. The oldest operating saloon in New York. Dingy, quiet - reverent even. Don't go for the music, the TV, the pool table. Go there to drink, lament and repent. That's what you do in a dive bar.

-- The above was written by Drew Moss, Seed contributor.

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