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Canada "as cool as" America
US President Obama added his two Canadian cents by issuing a spontaneous speech that was later televised on Canada's only TV station: "I have a dream . . . that every child in every school in America. . . . will have his or her own Canada Arm". Canadian businesses have responded to this news by increasing exports of whiny female singers from the prairie provinces and rigging American vending machines to accept Canadian "money".
Not all Americans are enthusiastic by this sudden change in status quo. Hundreds of mouth-foaming protestors marched to the Canadian Embassy in Washington to throw hockey pucks at an effigy of Sidney Crosby. "Fine, but Canadians only do cool things after they move to America," said one protester. "Canadian Trivial Pursuit is stupid!" screamed another. An arrest was made after vandals spray-painted "Maple syrup sucks" on a nearby wall. Canadian counter-protesters outnumbered the American crowd 3-to-1 but they were too busy making a documentary about the protesters to really care.
America's Immigration & Naturalization Service admits that over 300,000 people cross the Canadian-American border everyday, however they fail to specify in which direction said people are traveling.
Filed under: April Fools Posts