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10 Ways Your Cat Will Punish You for Traveling
You may love to travel, but chances are, your cat is not into it when you're gone.
If you think about it from your cat's perspective, the first time you went away, he (or she) probably thought he was being abandoned. When you came back, he was probably all snuggles and relief. Then, slowly, he realized that you pretty much always come back.
In the eyes of your cat, your absence is a minor annoyance -- which quickly becomes a major annoyance if you stay away for a long period of time. As you surely already know, if you annoy your cat, you will be punished.
So, here they are, The 10 Ways Your Cat Will Punish You for Traveling -- and how to thwart his nefarious plans.
1. Toilet paper obliteration.
Cats don't use toilet paper, but they know that you do, and they view it as an unnecessary privilege (which happens to be a lot of fun to
2. Plant consumption.
Your cat may occasionally nip at your houseplants, but if you are gone awhile, they have no qualms about chowing down on the better part of a scrumptious indoor palm. It's not about hunger, it's about getting even. Thwart him: Put your plants where he can't get them; up high or in a closed room.
3. Throwing up on your Persian rug.
Whatever your most expensive floor covering is, prepare to come home to a nice pile of vom on it. This is most often a direct result of #2, so to thwart him, follow the instruction above.
4. Pooing on your bed.
This is an act of domination. Pooping on your high thread count linens is your cat saying "Guess what? While you were gone, I was in charge. And when you get back, there gonna be some changes." Thwart him: Close your bedroom door. Does your cat really need to sleep in your bed without you? No.
5. Expensive claw-made couch modifications.
Without you there to shout, your cat is happy to claw up your fine furnishings (in peace at last). It just feels so good. Thwart him: The only way to stop your cat from doing this is to train him beforehand. Make sure you always squirt your kitty with water if you catch him clawing, then pick him up and set him in front of a scratching post. If you see him clawing the scratching post on his own, give him a treat. He'll get the idea eventually. (If he feels like it.)
6. Writing utensil chewing.
Your cat is very likely to nom on your writing utensils or anything you use regularly to ensure you will have a constant reminder of what you did wrong (left him alone). Thwart him: Put your stuff away.
7. Scoot scoot crash.
"Scoot scoot crash" is a technical term for your cat's hobby of delicately pushing everything off the table, the shelf or what-have-you. If it's not nailed down or bigger than a catbox, expect to find it on the floor. Thwart him: Nail stuff down. Just kidding; put your stuff away.
8. Finding new hiding places.
You may come home to no cat at all. Your sabbatical is a great time for him to explore the house and find new places to hide, such as inside TV stand, behind the books on the shelf or in a shoebox in your closet. In addition to hiding himself, he may also hide anything you didn't nail down in a whole new place you've never thought to look -- forget "under the couch." How amateur. Thwart him: As above, put your stuff away, and when you come home to no cat, open a can of tuna and set it on the floor. Watch to see from whence he comes. You may have to do this a couple of times in different rooms before you discover the exact location.
9. Making his toys disappear.
Your cat may punish you by being an ungrateful sourpuss, achieved by hiding all his cat toys in those new hiding places. "Where's that freaking mousie?!" may come out of your exasperated, travel-weary and cuteness-starved mouth. Thwart him: Sorry, you can't. If the cat hides his own toys, they are under the couch or lost to the universe. Somewhere, there is a dimension filled with cat toys of yore. It's physics.
10. Hatred.
In addition to hiding, your cat may behave like an absolute jerkstore when you get back; ignoring you or even hissing at you. Thwart him: Time heals all wounds. Hiss back at him and wait a day or so. You will probably never be forgiven, but kitty will be back to purring all over you like a motorboat just as soon as he forgets you were gone.
Whatever your most expensive floor covering is, prepare to come home to a nice pile of vom on it. This is most often a direct result of #2, so to thwart him, follow the instruction above.
4. Pooing on your bed.
This is an act of domination. Pooping on your high thread count linens is your cat saying "Guess what? While you were gone, I was in charge. And when you get back, there gonna be some changes." Thwart him: Close your bedroom door. Does your cat really need to sleep in your bed without you? No.
5. Expensive claw-made couch modifications.
Without you there to shout, your cat is happy to claw up your fine furnishings (in peace at last). It just feels so good. Thwart him: The only way to stop your cat from doing this is to train him beforehand. Make sure you always squirt your kitty with water if you catch him clawing, then pick him up and set him in front of a scratching post. If you see him clawing the scratching post on his own, give him a treat. He'll get the idea eventually. (If he feels like it.)
6. Writing utensil chewing.
Your cat is very likely to nom on your writing utensils or anything you use regularly to ensure you will have a constant reminder of what you did wrong (left him alone). Thwart him: Put your stuff away.
7. Scoot scoot crash.
"Scoot scoot crash" is a technical term for your cat's hobby of delicately pushing everything off the table, the shelf or what-have-you. If it's not nailed down or bigger than a catbox, expect to find it on the floor. Thwart him: Nail stuff down. Just kidding; put your stuff away.
8. Finding new hiding places.
You may come home to no cat at all. Your sabbatical is a great time for him to explore the house and find new places to hide, such as inside TV stand, behind the books on the shelf or in a shoebox in your closet. In addition to hiding himself, he may also hide anything you didn't nail down in a whole new place you've never thought to look -- forget "under the couch." How amateur. Thwart him: As above, put your stuff away, and when you come home to no cat, open a can of tuna and set it on the floor. Watch to see from whence he comes. You may have to do this a couple of times in different rooms before you discover the exact location.
9. Making his toys disappear.
Your cat may punish you by being an ungrateful sourpuss, achieved by hiding all his cat toys in those new hiding places. "Where's that freaking mousie?!" may come out of your exasperated, travel-weary and cuteness-starved mouth. Thwart him: Sorry, you can't. If the cat hides his own toys, they are under the couch or lost to the universe. Somewhere, there is a dimension filled with cat toys of yore. It's physics.
10. Hatred.
In addition to hiding, your cat may behave like an absolute jerkstore when you get back; ignoring you or even hissing at you. Thwart him: Time heals all wounds. Hiss back at him and wait a day or so. You will probably never be forgiven, but kitty will be back to purring all over you like a motorboat just as soon as he forgets you were gone.
Filed under: Stories
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 3)
DTravelsRound Jan 14th 2010 11:00PM
What a great post!
I have two kits and the last time I went away, I came home to two VERY angry cats. Funny, I don't have to go traveling to have them pissed at me. Much of the behavior (the scooting of items off coffee tables, etc.) occurs right front of me. My favorite is when they look at me as they do something. Its like they damn well know they shouldn't be taking that remote and pushing it off the table, or digging their little claws into the couch, but they do it just because they CAN. Love them to pieces though. I am going to miss them when they get fostered while I go tour Europe/N. Africa.
www.dtravelsround.com
Anna Jan 14th 2010 2:32AM
His expresssion says it all: "And what....?"
Jackie Jan 14th 2010 4:40PM
We have a rabbit that is treated very much like a cat - litter box trained, free reign of the house. etc. - and she absolutely despises it when we travel. So far, the casualty toll includes a brand new couch that is now riddled with holes, our precious carpet (riddled with one giant hole), and countless wires for the TV, sound system, computers, you name it, she's chewed it. Obviously we now lock her up in a large, covered pen when we travel, but the damage has been done. Luckily, rabbits don't seem to have quite the memory as cats, so she gets over her grudge fairly quickly when we return. Ah, so cute, yet so destructive.
Paul Jan 14th 2010 8:50PM
My dad's cat peed in his stove burners while he was away.
laura Jan 16th 2010 10:55PM
Oh, that is nasty! Bad kitty!
pete Jan 15th 2010 8:15AM
HOW DARE YOU POST THIS STORY WHERE MY CATS CAN READ IT!!! NOW I HAVE TO SHUT OFF THE COMPUTER WHEN I LEAVE THE HOUSE!
JWinn Jan 15th 2010 10:37AM
My favorite solution if I'm gone for a weekend is catnip. I leave piles of it on old towels on the floor. A stoned cat is a happy cat - doesn't seem to know I went anywhere. But be aware that the scoot scoot crash will increase considerably, so definately put everything away.
emma Jan 16th 2010 4:25PM
thanks for the great read! cats rule!
Kat Jan 16th 2010 5:23PM
My cats usually don't care when I go out. I do have one who screeches excitedly sometimes when she sees me, then morphs into a purring, cuddly fool. I did have a cat who, when slighted (usually stepped on), would wrap herself aroundmy ankle and proceed to shred it. We used to make fun of her and she would growl at us, or worse yet, hiss, then slink off to pout.
We had a dog who would shred anything cardboard or straw (think decorative hats) when we'd leave her alone.
Joan Jan 16th 2010 5:42PM
Thanks for the great read. I can't leave anything on a table top or my dresser or desk....on the floor it goes.......covered with cat fur and loving it
Barb Jan 16th 2010 6:07PM
Had lots of cats over the years but never had one that had to stay in the house 24/7. One, however,managed to have a littler of kittens in the middle of my bed!Got to say, tho,she may have had them there but everything was spotless! She was a clean lady.
Kathe Jan 16th 2010 6:26PM
My cat hid her toys and there were quite a number of them. Could not find them anywhere. Then one day we moved the organ and out spilled a cache of cat toys. The twerp got inside the organ via the peddle opening. Come to think of it, that's probably the hiding place when I couldn't find HER a few times!
Linda Jan 16th 2010 6:22PM
Great read! I love my kitties, but one time I came home after being away on business, got into bed in the dark (it was late when I got back) only to awaken an hour or so later to the smell of dried cat pee. She had peed on top of the comforter right where I sleep & it had gone through all the layers...
jbjg24m Jan 16th 2010 6:29PM
puppies will do some of the same exact things! espcially the toiletpaper thing ! i have to close the bathroom door everytime that i leave the house !
Steve Jan 16th 2010 6:39PM
When we are away we set up our Skype at home to automatically answer. Then we call once in awhile to say hello to our cat. She seems to wait by the computer for our calls.
JJ Jan 16th 2010 7:27PM
As soon as we walk in the door (after being away) our cat will go to the middle of the living room floor and sit down facing away from us. Classic "cold shoulder". Every now and then he will glance back at us to make sure we are being sufficiently punished by his shunning...
kathy Jan 16th 2010 6:59PM
had a dog that would get on the bed and poop when my husband was out of town and i went to work while he was gone. the funny part of it was, when i got home, he was sitting next to said poop and it looked like he was laughing at me.
Michelle Neff Jan 16th 2010 7:01PM
Baloney!
robyn Jan 16th 2010 7:05PM
i have 2 kittys and they dont do any of these things when i go away. i was sick and in the hospital for 3 weeks and my mom had to bring the one to the hospital to see me because she had stopped eating all together. when i go away they usually dont eat while im gone, but nothing else is wrong in my home. they are always very happy and wanting love when i get back. i usually cant get them off me for a few days.
Karen Jan 16th 2010 7:25PM
I have a domesticated feral cat I saved from a neighbor's cat trap. I went away only once. Before I left, she was very independant and aloof. Since I've come back (over a year ago I was gone for six days), she won't give me any peace. If she is awake, she is constantly meowing and begging for attention.
I love my cat very much, but, trust me, the constant meowing and wanting to be carried around like a baby can be a bit much at times.