Has the Loch Ness Monster gone extinct?

Things aren't going well in Scotland. Last year was the worst year on record for sightings of the Loch Ness Monster. A documentary studied the possibility that Nessie has gone extinct, and even the Official Loch Ness Monster Fan Club is worried.

Only one "dependable" sighting, by a local man back in June, shows there might be life in the old critter yet, but if that's a false alarm, where does that leave us? Locals around Loch Ness are worried last year's poor showing may affect tourist numbers. In the United States, liberals are saying Nessie died of shame from being called a "monster" instead of the more politically correct term "evidence-challenged endangered species". Conservatives claim Nessie was the first victim of the death panels set up by Obama's America-hating, terrorist-loving national health care.

The number of sightings has been going down for a few years, so the creature or creatures may very well be dying out. Is it gone for good? Unless AOL coughs up a few million to equip me with sonar equipment and a submarine, I really can't say.

Whatever happened to Nessie, take heart. There are plenty of lake monsters to go around. There's a Nessie-like creature in Minnesota, one in Lake Champlain, and others scattered around the world. There's even another Scottish beastie in Loch Morar, which was the subject of a recent investigation by blogger Tom Gates. He took the amazing photo shown here. Believe it or not it's actually a fake, made with a little Nessie model and some basil, and should serve as a warning to serious cryptozoologists that common household items can be used to construct a photo that can fool even the experts.

I, for one, don't think Nessie will ever die. Despite having walked on the Moon and plumbed the depths of the ocean, we as a species love a mystery, and will always need creatures like Nessie, Bigfoot, the Mothman, and Raw Head and Bloody Bones until we ourselves go extinct.

Filed under: Europe, North America, United Kingdom, United States