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Five reasons why life on the road can really suck
Whenever I tell people my latest travel plans, I usually get the same response: "Oh, you're so lucky - I wish I could do that." What they don't realize is that they can do that -- I've made travel a priority and set my life up around it. I could have made a nice down payment on a house in my late twenties, but I chose to spend the money on a round-the-world-trip, for example. But despite the perceived glamor (or luckiness) of someone who leads a nomadic life, there are times when never being in one place for long can really suck. Here are five reasons:1. It can be difficult to make deeper connections with people. When you're just passing through, you're just passing through. The older I get, the more I feel this -- sure, I make friends easily, but the odds of ever meeting up with people again are slim. It makes me sad.
2. People at home go on with their lives, and you become less and less a part of them. With Facebook, I'm privy to all the fun I'm missing at home. I always reconnect easily with my best friends, but seeing the the photos of celebrations and reading the status updates of those having cozy holidays can intensify the loneliness that my solo travel occasionally leads to.
3. Sometimes it feels like your life is standing still. Everyone else is doing age-appropriate things like having babies and advancing their careers. Suddenly, most of my friends have decent salaries and guest rooms - weird. I'm still sleeping in budget hotels and living out of the same backpack I bought six years ago.
4. You can't commit to any one thing, and so never experience anything fully. This is kind of related to #1, but it has more to it than just connecting to people. I'm only in Kunming for three months, for example, so I'm not going to buy a bike and get to know the city and its surrounds as well as I could. Equally, I'm not going to learn as much Mandarin as I would if I'd committed to a longer stay. I'll just get a little sample of everything, and then move on.
5. You continually have experiences that you simply can't convey to folks who aren't with you. Just as everyone back home is moving on, you too are living a life no one else can relate to. That's one reason why Kraig suggested that those who travel without their significant others experience a high rate of breakups. I'm constantly overwhelmed with the scents, sounds, and sights that are impossible to communicate fully. Can anyone really understand what it's like to see entire hillsides terraced by hand, smell piss and oil and spices all at once, or feel air so humid it feels like you're wearing it? You just have to be there.
Of course, I have to qualify that for all the reasons life on the road can be hard, there are many more reasons why it's wonderful. I'm paraphrasing from memory here when I recall Elizabeth Gilbert's passage in one of her early chapters of Eat, Pray, Love, but it's one that really spoke to me: "I feel about travel the way a new mother feels about her restless, colicky, newborn baby - I just don't care what it puts me through. It can barf all over me and I will still love it."
Hence, I'm still on the road.
To read more about my life in China, click here.
Filed under: Asia, China, Budget Travel, Women's Travel
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Chi Dec 18th 2009 3:17AM
I appreciated your reflexion on the downside of traveling, especially in the holiday season. I am not a constant traveller, but I live a continent away from most of my friends and family, and I can completely relate to the feeling that everyone else is moving on without me.
The same goes for the spousal situation - although in the opposite case because I have my spouse with me, and I think that living abroad has made us a much stronger couple.
Magnus Dec 17th 2009 1:42PM
Great post. I totally understand. Number #3 is totally right. couches and guest rooms are what I frequented for a while. Now of course I want to do the same thing... but I have a wife and boy so I have to ask for more than that... FUNNY!
Sherry Ott Dec 17th 2009 3:33PM
Totally agree with all of this. I have realized that living life as a traveler on the road for the last 3 years is not a way to have a serious relationship with anyone - in fact, I've become more of a loner and extremely proficient at the quick 'travel relationships' you build with other travelers and tourists. One thing you can do to combat #4 is to live somewhere for 6 months or more. I just spent the year in Vietnam and realized living somewhere is very different than traveling thru - you do get to experience everything...good and bad; but it still feels like your traveling as it's not your own culture your experiencing!
soultravelers3 Dec 18th 2009 3:47PM
Interesting read! When I saw the title, I thought, that must be a very different "life on the road" than mine, as we are into our 4th year of an open ended world tour and I haven't experienced any of it "sucking" thus far.
So, I think much depends on how one does it and possibly inner perspective or age. We have the luxury to go at exactly the pace we want to go (slow) and exactly where we want to go "winging it in the moment" & we travel as a family, so our most important relationships are along for the ride. ;) We experience everything together and adore the freedom.
I hate to travel in bad weather and think deep immersion is valuable, so we follow the weather and we have spent the last 4 winters in a tiny village in Andalusia, Spain where my child goes to the local school, takes flamenco lessons & we fully participate in village life and all the elaborate festivals. We have all made deep friends here that we will cherish and keep forever. They are fine with it too, if we take her out of school for little excursions.
We've been to 32 countries, 4 continents & over 175,000 miles (most overland) but we also go "back" to places regularly like Barcelona, Italy, France, Austria, UK etc & I think that supports connections too. We've been to Barcelona 8 times since 2006 (often staying a month) and have some friends there that we see every time. I suppose it also helps that we speak the language.
We like the style of half a year of mostly traveling & 5 months of mostly resting & deeper immersion/explorations. We did it for our child, but works for all of us. I do remember having great bouts of homesickness when I lived in Italy for a year in my 20's, but we have never gotten homesick or had "travel burn out" on this one.
We have found webcam calls along with blogging, twitter, facebook etc a great way to keep connected to family and friends. No they can't really relate to what we are experiencing ( although some have come to visit, so have a taste) but we don't expect that, nor do we need that.
I can't say we can relate to any of these "sucking points", but we are very different travelers., so that makes sense. Everybody's "on the road" will differ.
We certainly have our moments of that "colicky baby" kind of travel ( I'm writing this with just my left hand because I am recovering from a serious injury via a bike wreck on the Danube in August that landed me in the hospital & surgery etc), but for the most part I find it more like the ideal baby, that is soooo easy to love!
Catherine Dec 18th 2009 10:40PM
Thanks for the comments, all.
Soultravelers3, I can't help but notice the "we" in your comment, and I have a feeling that that "we" can make all the difference when dealing with travel fatigue. Part of my problem is that everyone who is close to me is across the Pacific.
But again, I want to stress my gratefulness for all of my experiences and say that despite the occasional bouts of homesickness and loneliness, I am indeed happiest living out of my backpack. It's just not always the easiest lifestyle.