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Galley Gossip - Miss Oklahoma, Pop Rocks, a ripped skirt & other strange things on planes
Obviously the best thing about being a flight attendant is being able to travel at a moments notice, as long as there's an open seat available on the flight. The second best thing about being a flight attendant has got to be all those days off! The third best thing about being a flight attendant is that we never know what the day will bring, and being able to leave that day behind as soon as we step off the plane - the good, the bad, and the ugly. Or the not so ugly as was the case on my last trip.
"I'm sorry," whispered my coworker, cutting his eyes at Taylor Treat, the winner of the Miss Oklahoma pageant this year. "But I'm prettier than her."
I looked at her, looked at him, looked back at her, and tried not to laugh. Because...well...In his own special way my colleague did indeed give the beauty queen a run for her money, all 200 pounds of him, with flawless coco butter skin, lashes as long as J-Lo, and....wait a minute, was that gloss? His lips were unusually shiny.
"Why Andre..." I handed a passenger a can of Dr. Pepper. "I do believe you're jealous!"
Snorting, he slapped a beverage napkin down on a tray table and turned to the last row of passengers. "Something to drink?"
Just another day on the job.
It had started out like any other day, only on this particular day when we arrived at the Oklahoma City airport I ripped my skirt leaping out of the crew van like a world class athlete. I don't know what I was thinking, trying to make that five foot jump to the curb. The sound of fabric splitting caused my entire crew to gasp, which caused me to walk backwards, or sideways, depending on where passengers were located, as I made my way into the airport, through security, and onto the airplane.
One thing I've learned over the years is that bad things can lead to good things. It's true! Because if it weren't for the ripped skirt I would have never met the passenger with the double-sided sticky tape, and if hadn't met the sticky tape man, I would have never met the beautiful young woman sitting beside him, a woman who will actually be competing for the Miss America title in January. And that's how I almost - ALMOST - got wear a sparkling crown during the beverage service. Only something tells me if I had worn it, Andre would have snatched it away and placed it on his own bald head.
One of the great things about being a flight attendant is that I meet all kinds of interesting people, flight attendants and passengers alike. Take for instance passenger 3B on our flight the day before. He sat in first class wearing a black polo shirt with the word POP ROCKS plastered across his chest in bright red letters.
"It must be an amazing feeling to walk through an airport terminal and make people smile," I said eyeing the logo that now had me smiling my own first class smile.
He looked confused. "What do you mean?"
"Your shirt. It's great. It brings back memories."
Two seconds later twenty bags of Pop Rocks in the newest flavors were pressed into the palm of my hand. "I came prepared," he said, and then went on to tell me that Mikey is not dead. In fact, not one kid ever exploded from mixing Pop Rocks with Coca Cola - in case you were wondering. You know you were!
Where are all those bags Pop Rocks now? Tucked away in my tote bag. They're housed inside an airsick bag that was decorated with flowers, suns, and moons by an adorable five year-old girl named Hania who lives in Pakistan with two boisterous brothers who refused to keep their seat belts fastened and sit in their seats regardless of the illuminated sign or how often Hania and I told them to. I must admit, we became friends near the end of the flight, but I didn't find the child all that adorable during boarding when she decided to lie down in the middle of the aisle in first class, holding up a long line of passengers who were trying to get to their seats. One would think her parents might try to move her along, but instead they just stood there smiling at me as I tried to coax the child off the floor and to her seat in the last row of coach.
Now back to the exploding candy housed in a bag featuring artwork by Hania. I've actually promised to send the Pop Rocks to a couple of people who follow me on Twitter that correctly guessed the number of passengers - nineteen - I had to personally ask to turn off and stow their electronic devices after the aircraft door had been shut and the announcement had been made. And that does not include the guy who sat next to my jumpseat on landing who decided to pull out his blackberry and start texting.
"Excuse me!" I said, eyeing the device.
"Oh," he said, and turned it off.
Two seonds later a young man seated a row back pulled out his cell phone, the glow of the display illuminating his face in the dark. I could see his fingers dialing. I could also see the twinkling lights down below on the ground. I yelled from my jumpseat, "Can you turn that off and keep it off until we land, please!"
The commuting pilot sitting beside the kid just shook his head. Then he passed me a 4 x 6 photograph of a beautiful chocolate brown horse that lives on a farm in upstate New York. Very soon that horse may find himself saddled up on a couple of green acres in Texas. The pilot and I spent a good ten minutes talking about the benefits of having a horse, and now I'm thinking about taking a western style vacation with the family. The people you meet, the places you want to go...
Eventually we, the crew, as well as the Captain's electric guitar, made it to our layover hotel in Oklahoma City. Once inside my room, I whipped open the floral print curtains, looked across the bare parking lot, and spotted it - a Cracker Barrel restaurant located directly across a busy street. Honestly, I think everyone should visit a Cracker Barrel at least once in their lives. It's that good. The following morning I unleashed my inner Brittney (Spears) and dug into a plate of chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes with gravy, and green beans. It was more than worth the calories, and anyway, calories don't count while traveling! Not when traveling today is like being on an episode of Survivor in that you never know what's going to happen. You've got to be prepared, not just for the worst, but for anything - especially if you're a flight attendant. Three hours later I ripped my skirt.
Filed under: Airlines, Transportation, Galley Gossip













Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Mark Nov 25th 2009 10:03AM
That whole article was worth reading just for the Cracker Barrel mention...not that the rest of it wasn't interesting. I just love Cracker Barrel and have to stop at them whenever we pass one on an Interstate. Great place to do some holiday shopping!
And it's true, you do meet some pretty awesome (and strange) people in the hospitality field...
Nick Nov 25th 2009 10:59AM
Double-sided sticky tape for a ripped skirt?!! Please tell me I understood it wrong LOL. I thought all airline crew always carried with them a neatly-folded extra set of uniform in their sleek carry-on's for just these kind of ripping/spilling/staining emergencies. Atleast I know of some ultra long haul international crew do!
Thanks for your posts. They always crack me up and give new insight into cabin crew lifestyle. I'll take your blogs anytime over that much hyped Virgin 'Fly Girls' show.
Traytable Nov 25th 2009 11:49AM
Nick, we do carry spare uniforms,, but it's much easier (not to mention quicker) to just do an on-the-run repair as the spare uniform is generally crammed inside our bag and would be far too wrinkly to wear right out of the case :)
In a pinch, one can use bandaids from the first aid kit or even catering stickers if the situation is desperate!
Craig Nov 26th 2009 12:01PM
I thought this was so funny, loved the pop rocks dude, I have encountered flight attendents with a sense of humor, thought only a few. Heather you should've won the Noble Prize, good job, I will look forward to you next post. Be Well
Greg Nov 26th 2009 11:59AM
Your blog always rings so true.
I love meeting and talking with my passengers. I had a couple in their 70's last month that had never flown before. This was their first time flying, and they were going to see their son. I was so excited for them, and congratulated them on their adventure. I then asked what was the occassion... They were going to see him in the hospital, he had had a motorcycle accident and was braindead, and they were going to turn off his life support. WOW, sure put my excitement in check. I've learned to ask the occassion before congratulations now.
We have a man who flies out of Philly monthly, and he always brings a box of chocolates for each crew member. We all enjoy seeing him come aboard.
And about kids... the little darlings. I think ticket agents should weight the toddlers upon check-in, and administer the appropriate dose of Dimatap. Bye the time they get to the plane, they are limp, docile little creatures. Peaceful flights for all.
Keep flying Heather, you are a benifit to your kind.
RON Nov 26th 2009 10:13PM
And about kids... the little darlings. I think ticket agents should weight the toddlers upon check-in, and administer the appropriate dose of Dimatap. Bye the time they get to the plane, they are limp, docile little creatures. Peaceful flights for all.
LOL!!!!!!!!! PERFECT!
Sara Dec 3rd 2009 12:22AM
You're so right! My mom used to give it to us.
The decongestant helps with the painful ear popping for little ones too.
frank96 Nov 30th 2009 3:41PM
Obviously the best thing about being a flight attendant is being able to travel at a moments notice, as long as there's an open seat available on the flight. The second best thing about being a flight attendant has got to be all those days off! The third best thing about being a flight attendant is that we never know what the day will bring...........................
================================================
:::smile::::
This comment reminds me of working with a coworker who entered the galley after take-off and proclaimed, "OMG, do you guys know who's on the flight?" Puzzled, everyone waited to hear the passenger's name. He proceeds to empty half the liquid carrier into a bag to "comp" the guy and quickly disappears into the aisle. Everyone walked by the seat row and still no one could figure out who it was. Finally, our co-worker laughed with excitement and, proudly said, I know him very well. He said,
He's a gay porn star.
Sarah Dec 3rd 2009 12:20AM
I know exactly what you mean about the glow from the cell phone lighting up someone's face!
When kids start texting during movies in class and I ask them to hand over their phones, they look at me like "how did you know?" Duh.
Fortunately I can confiscate them. :)
Pauline Dec 11th 2009 12:32AM
Cracker Barrel! I love going there with my aunt and uncle when I visit them backeast, the chicken pot pie is the best! If they aren't sold out, which is very upsetting. Okay, I am in my forties but that's not the point!
If anyone in the Cracker Barrel organization is reading this, how come you don't have any restaurants in California? Specifically Los Angeles? Specifically Glendale/Pasadena/Burbank?