Click on a label to read posts from that part of the world.
Five ways to get the person in the seat next to you to stop talking
It's not your responsibility to act as your seatmate's captive audience, but ignoring people is mean and feels awful. Here are five ways to delicately end the conversation.
1. The Book Heisman. Rather than the traditional "stop talking hand," get your book between you and the talker. This works especially well when you have the window seat; pretend to lean against the airplane wall. Magazines can be even more effective, as they are larger. Once they notice the book is open, and between you, they should get the hint. If not, say "Sorry, I really have to finish this." Let them figure out why you need to read Pride and Prejudice and Zombies on their own.
2. Offer them an activity. No, don't give them a book or puzzle; they'll ask you for help and talk to you about it the whole time. Just remind them of what they (hopefully) brought. Say: "What did you bring to read? Oh, I haven't read that book, can I see it?" This gets their book (or laptop, or whatever they have) out of their bag and into their lap. Digging out their own entertainment may have been what they were trying to procrastinate by talking.
3. Headphones. The only problem with this is that they'll know there's nothing to listen to during takeoff (because that's before plane music starts and you're not allowed to use your iPod) or landing. If you can stand it, let them talk through the first few minutes of your flight, then pop the earbuds into your ears and close your eyes or get to work as soon as you can. The trick? You don't have to actually listen to anything at all. If they ask you anything, make sure they ask at least twice and pretend you didn't hear them over the music. If they still don't get the hint, add #1, The Book Heisman.3. Get excited about your activity. Even if it's feigned,
4. Get excited about your activity. Even if it's feigned, tell the person you are so excited to read your book, or dive into work, or nap. This works best right after they've told you something that you didn't know (no matter how mundane). "Huh. I didn't know that. Thanks. [yawn] Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this nap. Have a good flight." If they interrupt whatever you're doing, give them the puppy eyes so they remember they're disturbing you.
5. Honesty. Is it always the best policy? Maybe not always, as this one might make the person feel bad. Still, if you're tried 1-4 to no avail, the person probably needs someone to level with them about airplane talking: not everyone is into it. You'll be doing someone on a future flight a favor. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't like to talk on the airplane. This is one of the only times I get to be quiet" works well. If that doesn't work, or you have to repeat it more than once, you are totally within your rights to just ignore the person. You tried to be nice.
More ideas? Share them below.
4. Get excited about your activity. Even if it's feigned, tell the person you are so excited to read your book, or dive into work, or nap. This works best right after they've told you something that you didn't know (no matter how mundane). "Huh. I didn't know that. Thanks. [yawn] Anyway, I'm really looking forward to this nap. Have a good flight." If they interrupt whatever you're doing, give them the puppy eyes so they remember they're disturbing you.
5. Honesty. Is it always the best policy? Maybe not always, as this one might make the person feel bad. Still, if you're tried 1-4 to no avail, the person probably needs someone to level with them about airplane talking: not everyone is into it. You'll be doing someone on a future flight a favor. "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't like to talk on the airplane. This is one of the only times I get to be quiet" works well. If that doesn't work, or you have to repeat it more than once, you are totally within your rights to just ignore the person. You tried to be nice.
More ideas? Share them below.
Filed under: Airports, Travel Health
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Zach Nov 24th 2009 6:24PM
A good fake case of Tourette syndrome also does the tick, er, trick.
cyndigo Nov 24th 2009 7:15PM
Ask them if they'd like to accept Jesus Christ as their savior. If they're already a fundamentalist, start telling them about Amway. If that fails, you're going to have to break out the descriptions of your oozing rash. And order A LOT of those little bottles of gin from the flight attendant.
Andrea Nov 24th 2009 8:57PM
I had a high school teacher who swore by his copy of Charles Manson's autobiography. Apparently it did the trick on multiple-day Greyhound Bus rides.
Rachel Nov 24th 2009 9:50PM
I always check in before hand and make sure if i can to get the window seat. i put ear plugs in ( and they're the Bright pink and yellow ones so they're noticeable ) and stare out the window. i like the scenery so it doesn't bore me !
M-D Nov 24th 2009 10:30PM
Window seat + sleep = WIN.
Jennifer @ Approach Guides Nov 24th 2009 10:45PM
Phenomenal post. I had implemented strategies 5, 3 and 1 before (although I had never called it by my-now-new-fave-term a "Book Heisman"), but 2 and 4 will definitely be strategies I implement next time! I thank you in advance. :-)
Unexpected Traveller Nov 25th 2009 1:29AM
All good tricks. I've deployed 1 and 3 before. Sometimes you do find the odd person who doesn't annoy you - a quick "Where are you going and what are you reading?" and then they clam up and leave you to it. I find these travellers to be the most friendly as they know when to keep to themselves. I've often exchanged e-mail addresses and I keep in touch with a few people.
On rare occasions, you get people who are the exact opposite though: http://unexpectedtraveller.wordpress.com/2009/05/04/patience/
:-)
The Unexpected Traveller
Kara Nov 25th 2009 9:39AM
An eye mask is also a helpful "leave me alone" prop.
That said--and I really, really do dislike talking to people on planes--I also know this has at times cost me opportunities to talk to people I should have talked to. On a cross-country flight earlier this year, my persistent seat-mate, an elderly gentleman, ignored all my efforts and--I kid you not--even at one point read aloud from a PDF I had open on my laptop.
What he read prompted him to ask a question which within two more questions revealed that he was actually the father of one of my friends. He turned out to be a very interesting guy and I wished I'd had more than the last twenty minutes of the flight to talk to him.
To be honest, however, I haven't really learned my lesson. I still pop in the ear buds, open the book, and pull on my best "entranced by the scenery out the window" look.
Sam the Deaf Nov 25th 2009 10:26AM
You know what's terrible that nobody talk to me? I told them I'm deaf. Very few of them are interesting on me to know how deaf I am.