I realize you are attempting to be humorous, but it fell short with me.

I worked for the TSA way back in 2002, when they first took over the airports. We were never trained to give any opinion on a t-shirt. I can't imagine yelling at anyone for declaring their own stupidity by wearing a shirt like the one above. I would just shake my head and let them pass.

I can remember a weekend that a band that covered Grateful Dead music was in town. We were briefed by the supervisor that we might find "stuff" that wasn't exactly legal, but unless it was a hazard to the flight to "keep on screening" and move to the next passenger.

I can tell you some stupid things people have done to slow down their travel experience:

A bridgegroom gave all his male attendants a belt with a buckle that concealed a 3 inch blade.

A passenger wanted to "test" the TSA and give his opinion of the agency by stuffing an ice skate with clay, batteries and wire along with a profanity laced letter.

A passenger traveling overseas departing Dulles had her bag sit in the CRT for hours while screeners, FBI and the bomb squad people tried to determine what was inside her bag. Note: don't wrap brown sugar in foil and stick next to your hair drier.

Don't put your luggage in the garage next to fertilizer (aka nitrates).


Here's a quick rule of thumb. TSA equipment is programmed to ping on 2 of the 4 components of a IED which are:

The charge or stuff that goes boom.

The power supply.

Detonator:

Timer.

So, if you are taking a short hop home from Aunt Martha's and decide to pack that lovely fruitcake and stick it next to your travel alarm clock and throw your Ipod on top, chances are you are going to be selected for further screening.

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