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Galley Gossip: 20 ways to use a maxi pad in flight

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on Sep 1st 2009 at 9:30AM

Before I share the list - 20 ways to use a maxi-pad in flight, I first must explain
how this post even came to be. I don't want you to think I spend my time sitting around thinking about maxi pads. Trust me, there's a method to the madness.

So there I sat at La Guardia airport in New York inside flight service operations, relaxing in a beat up, reclining chair, not watching the weather channel on the screen in front of me. I'd been sitting there for hours due to the fact it was my turn to serve standby. For those of you who aren't familiar with airline lingo, standby is a term used when flight attendants on reserve are required to spend three to six hours, depending on the airline, at the airport just sitting around and waiting to be called out to work a flight in case someone doesn't show up at the last minute. At my airline, this happens once or twice every reserve month.

On that particular day Sean sat in the recliner beside me. He'd been cracking me up since the moment I'd sat down. Now I've written about Sean in the past. In fact, he was the lead flight attendant, the one in charge, in the Galley Gossip post about a child who had gotten lost in first class. At some point our conversation turned serious and Sean shared a story about a medical emergency that forced him to become quite resourceful and do something that impressed me greatly. He used a maxi pad as a bandaid.

"You're brilliant, Sean. You really are. I would have never thought of doing something like that," I said, and that's when it hit me, "hey, we should make a list of all the different ways we could use a maxi pad in flight!" We didn't make the list, but we did laugh about it.

Flash forward three months later. On a flight to Los Angeles, I walked into the galley, looked up, and saw it - a maxi pad shoved between two ceiling panels. It was there to soak up condensation that would otherwise drip on me. Right then and there I knew I had to make the list, and with the help of my crew, flight attendants who never cease to amaze me, we came up with 20 unique ways to use a maxi pad in flight.

The day after the list was created a passenger on our flight back to New York stepped into the galley, held out a white sleeve, and in a British accent asked, "Do you have anything I can use to get this off of me?" Red lint covered her white cotton blouse. "It's from the blanket!"

"I'm sorry," said one of my coworkers. "There's nothing we can really do...except give you a few wet paper towels to wipe it off."

"But I've got somewhere important to be when I get off this flight and I can't go looking like this!" she exclaimed, shaking both arms at us.

If we hadn't made the list the day before, I would have never thought of using a maxi-pad as a lint brush, which means I would have never said, "Well...there is something we can use..." I nodded my head in the direction of the lavatory, smiling mischievously.

Heather, one of my colleagues, explained to the passenger that a strip of tape on the back of a maxi pad could be used to remove the lint- that is if she didn't mind patting herself down with it. The passenger just nodded and then disappeared into the lav.

Two minutes later the passenger spun around in the galley and sang, "It worked! Thank you so very much."

20 WAYS TO USE A MAXI-PAD IN FLIGHT...

Headrest
Oven mitts
Light shade
Condensation absorbent.
Towel
Mop
Bag handle
Hair remover
Band aid
Tape
Arm rest
Eye mask
Lint brush
Curtain holder
Shoe insole
Cool compress
Beer koozie
Coffee filter
Post-it note
YOU TELL ME!

That's right, this is your chance to channel your inner flight attendant and come up with an interesting way to use a maxi-pad. Just leave a comment below and I'll choose the best idea. May the best wanna-be flight attendant win!

And just when you think you're done with a post, you go to flickr.com to search for photos to go along with your bizarre post and find this...

(just had to share!)

Photos courtesy of (smiling girl) pinkcandylemon, (hair tie back) Hyesterical Bertha, (blister cover) Elizabeth Mcquern

Filed under: Airlines, Video, Galley Gossip

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

Malaycobra Sep 1st 2009 9:35AM

Gag

littledeviloqo Sep 1st 2009 8:20PM

Knee Pads!

For the extra tall passenger with an inconsiderate recliner in front of them!

The pads will help alleviate some of the pressure of having someone's seat back crushing their knees.

Heather Poole Sep 4th 2009 10:25AM

GOOD ONE! I could have used this idea on my last commuter flight home.

Annie Scott Sep 1st 2009 8:18PM

This is HYSTERICAL. Heather, you kill me.

Greg Sep 1st 2009 8:15PM

Great List. I was once at a regional florist meeting, as President of Indiana's Teleflora unit (I was a florist 16 years before becoming a FA). The regional director, a woman, put maxipads on all the guys plates before dinner. When we got into the room in the restaraunt, we all looked at them, pulled off the strip, and stuck them to our sleeves. We jokes that these we true guy napkins, since we could wipe our mouths on our sleeves and still keep our shirts clean. Great fun evening, and we kept them on our shirts all night. LOL. Not at all what she was hoping for.

Heather Poole Sep 4th 2009 10:24AM

That's pretty funny. I shared your story with my husband who actually laughed. It's not easy to make him laugh!

johnmc Sep 1st 2009 8:14PM

So that's why airline coffee tastes so bad?

On the ground side of things, we use bag tags for lint removal - especially when they're test prints etc.

Blondie Sep 1st 2009 8:06PM

A few years ago, on a regional jet, my First Officer kept whining and complaining about everything and everyone. So, when I turned in my passenger count for the weight and balance, it was written on a maxi pad that I slapped onto his thigh. He stopped kvetching, for a while...

Heather Poole Sep 4th 2009 10:58AM

Ah-ha! Something tells me he didn't bother you the rest of the flight. Too funny

MyMothersKnees Sep 1st 2009 11:06PM

Problem: Sticky Galley Floors

Solution: We used to stick the pads onto the bottom of our shoes, pour hot water on the galley floor and mop away. They worked beautifully and were oh so absorbent :o)

Steve Sep 2nd 2009 12:36AM

I hope nobody needed any for their intended purpose.. ;-)

These are actually quite clever, especially the condensation absorber and the band-aid.

Ooh, my suggestion: Fuselage hole repair!
http://twitpic.com/a9vk8

sky Sep 2nd 2009 7:56AM

when you break a glass or a plate in the galley, the sticky part of the maxi pad gets up the small shards and pieces of glass.

Heather Poole Sep 4th 2009 10:30AM

Now this is a great idea! One that will, I'm sure, be used in the flying future!

Heather Poole Sep 4th 2009 10:55AM

It's official - YOU WON! Well...you're one of the winners. Scroll down to the bottom to read more.

Bob, the semi-talented singing pilot Sep 2nd 2009 12:10PM

Careful!

Using a maxipad to aborb condensation is not a FAA approved procedure.

The FAA can fine you up to $10000 per flight for each violation, costing your airline millions of dollars. Furthermore, they can ground your fleet of maxipad planes, which will cause havoc with your airline's schedule and cost millions more.

That is unless you are Southwest. Then it's OK. Once again, the FAA is letting Southwest slide on the rules. As far as the FAA is concerned, SW can use unauthorized parts, be it maxipads or metal. For instance, as most of you have seen in the news, the FAA is presently letting Southwest use un-approved engine exhaust heat sheilds rather than ground those affected planes. But hey, it's no big deal. The heat sheilds only protect the fuel tanks in the wing from getting hot enought to explode. Not like that is a major safety concern, right?

So watch where you put those maxipads.

Except for Southwest.

Again.

(no, I'm not joking)

Jamie Rhein Sep 2nd 2009 12:13PM

Bob, very funny comment. And astute observation.

FlyingPhotog Sep 2nd 2009 12:23PM

Get over it Bob. Both Boeing and the FAA said the parts are up to snuff.

Bob, the not at all pleased with the FAA, pilot Sep 2nd 2009 5:30PM

Would that be the same FAA who 10 years ago said in a televised press conference that Valuejet [now Airtran] was up to snuff after Valuejet had a long series of incidents, accidents, and violations..................only to have Valuejet crash into a swamp killing everyone on board a few weeks later?

Bob, the not too happy with what Beoing is becoming., pilot Sep 2nd 2009 5:29PM

And would that also be the same Boeing who sees nothing wrong with using a fake part from a subcontractor's subcontractor made in china?

I guess that would be the same once great Boeing who is outsourcing more and more work each year.....to foreign countries.....many of which are unfriendly to US interests....and have dubious records of quality in manufacturing.....in order to pay higher management bonuses.

I'm just trying to keep you safe. That's my job. Other parties aren't exactly helping.