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Fake Canadians go home
I am.
I've taken to asking people their nationality when I see them sporting a Canadian flag and only about half turn out to be Canadian. The other half are American. No Brits, no Aussies, no Latvians. It seems the fake Canadians all come from south of the border.
Are they illegal immigrants coming to steal our heath care and eat all our maple syrup? No, they're pretending to be Canadians because their guidebooks have told them they'll be safer in all those scary foreign countries. Americans are targets, the guidebooks warn, so it's best to lay low. Lonely Planet started this ridiculous trend, but I've spotted the advice in other guidebooks too. It's stupid, and here's why.
First off, it's hypocritical. I've seen these sunshine patriots screech with rage when anyone says anything the least bit negative about the U.S., but they'll gladly give up their identity on the advice of some random guidebook writer. If you're proud to be American, that's great, the U.S. has a lot going for it, but then show you're proud by wearing an AMERICAN flag.
Secondly, the idea that a Canadian flag will protect you overseas is simply untrue. Thieves see you as a rich Westerner, and don't care whether you come from Manitoba or Montana. Terrorists see you as an evil Westerner, and don't care either. Some of the biggest attacks against travelers have been against British and Germans, not Americans. Besides, while the Canadian flag is a glorious national emblem, sublime in its simplicity and beauty, it is not bomb proof. Suicide attacks don't discriminate and usually take out more locals than foreigners.
Thirdly, Americans aren't as hated as they think. Oh, there are the jokes about fat, ignorant Americans that unite the world from Egypt to Ecuador, but few people really mean Americans any harm. I know, because I am regularly mistaken for one. When I worked and traveled for a couple of years in the Middle East, nobody threatened me. I even witnessed the 14th anniversary of the Islamic Revolution in Isfahan, Iran, and didn't have a problem. In fact, the entire month I was in Iran people constantly assumed I was American (or British, equally bad according to government propaganda) but I was never threatened. Instead I was treated to embarrassing levels of hospitality and the only danger was the very real possibility of being fed to death on massive dinners and cloyingly sweet desserts. The Iranians, it seems, can distinguish between people and governments. Oh, I occasionally had to endure odious lectures on the evils of Israel or how Zionists run Washington (snore) but I was never treated to even so much as a harsh word. It was the same in Palestine, Egypt, Morocco, Syria, and Turkey.
So Americans, please, show some love for your country and wear your own flag. The world doesn't hate you as much as you think it does. But I wouldn't suggest wearing a t-shirt saying "Employee of the U.S. Government". That's what most people are really ticked off about.
And if you are truly that embarrassed by your own country, I suggest one of two things--either stay home and work on fixing it, or move to Canada. We're underpopulated, so there's plenty of room.
Filed under: North America, Iran, Canada, United States
Reader Comments (Page 2 of 2)
Sean McLachlan Sep 1st 2009 2:29PM
JP,
Thank you for your rational and measured response. You're right that my statement that Americans aren't as hated as they think is pure opinion, but it is an opinion developed over twenty years of travel and being mistaken for American (thanks to the accent thing you mentioned). Of course, saying Americans ARE as hated as they think is opinion too. There's really no way to measure these things other than lots of time on the road in supposedly anti-American cultures.
It's true Americans are the number one enemy in some countries, but lets not forget the attacks on other nationalities. For example, the 2005 bombings in Sharm el-Sheikh, Egypt. One American was killed, but also 11 Brits, 2 Germans, 6 Italians, one Czech, and one Israeli. The bombers were obviously targeting Westerners in general. There are many other examples of this kind.
And I don't think that Americans wearing the Canadian flag are doing it because they adore my country. They're doing it because they want to hide behind my country. It's a bad choice anyway. Canadian troops are constantly in the line of fire in Afghanistan, so we're not as neutral as we used to be.
Jon Jan 14th 2010 2:21AM
I am a dual citizen of the US and Canada. Do I need to sew both flags on my backpack?
Spunkysmum Apr 18th 2010 3:26AM
Point taken.
I am actually a dual citizen of Canada and the US. I was born and raised in Canada. And if I go abroad for a vacation anytime soon, I will be carrying a USA backpack and wearing a Thank God for George W. Bush T-shirt.
I'm just ornery like that.
Real Canadian May 14th 2010 12:43PM
Americans have been passing themselves off as Canadians for various reasons for many decades now, at least since the 1930's.
Back then, however, it was to courageously put themselves in danger for the service of the free world while their own country after two years had still not joined WWII on the side of the Allies.
Although as a Canadian "fake-maple-leafed-backpackers" are a bit annoying, I figure "Fake Canadian" airmen such as Billy Fiske somehow even our the karma:
http://www.bbm.org.uk/Fiske.htm