Click on a label to read posts from that part of the world.
Galley Gossip: The mile high club - a question and a story

"So...have you ever caught anyone joining the mile high club?" If it's a single person doing the asking the question is usually direct and to the point, a just-the-facts-Ma'am kind of question, which I have no problem answering. But If it's a couple doing the asking things can get a little creepy. Only because there's always a quick glance at each other before the question is asked, followed by a nervous giggle between the words SO and HAVE, and a blush after the words MILE HIGH CLUB.
Now I actually began writing this post last month when someone going by the name of AlexaRPD asked the following question via twitter...
How many times have you caught people, uh, fraternizing in the bathrooms on one of your flights? Is there a standard, corporate policy about what to do with folks who get caught going at it on the planes?
That question led to a few tweets back and forth about flight attendants knocking and unlocking lavatory doors or hovering over guilty parties hiding under blankets. It didn't take long before I realized all of this would eventually end up in a post. That post started out like this...
Gallery: Galley Gossip: The official laviators club
It's been quite a few years since I've caught anyone joining the club. In fact, the last couple, a celebrity couple, I encountered exiting the lav looking a bit disheveled and not at all embarrassed have since divorced. Knowing what I know now, I'm not so sure they were even joining the club since they have a reputation for partaking of illegal substances. Joining the mile high club is not illegal. But that's only if you stop doing whatever it is you shouldn't be doing when you're asked to stop doing it. Why? Because passengers are required by law to obey flight attendant instructions.
I had planned on writing more but for whatever reason became distracted and never finished the post. It happens. But a week later I found myself in a hotel in San Francisco not far from the airport. That's where I turned on my computer, logged into twitter, and immediately received a few messages from three different followers about Alexa officially joining the club.
"No way," I wrote back. "I don't believe it."
"She did! And she did it with three Marines! She wrote all about it on her blog!"
I could tell by the exclamation marks the guy was overly excited and needed a hard dose of reality. "I can barely fit in lav with my three year-old son, let alone another adult person," I typed, my head shaking side to side. "How small were the marines?"
Out of nowhere Alexa tweeted, "I could care less if you believe me!"
"Cat fight!" several people tweeted at once.
"Send me the post!" I requested. Two seconds later a link popped up on my screen. I took a deep breath and clicked.
Yes, I really did read all about Alexa's erotic escapade in an airplane lavatory with three Marines. Of course I read it purely for logistics, analyzing how something like this could have actually taken place in such a contaminated confined space without alerting other passengers or crew. Sure I was a little surprised to see myself, one of the flight attendants, briefly mentioned in the story. And relief actually swept over me when I realized there was some order involved. The Marines took turns.
Honestly, it's really hard for me to believe that people actually are able (and want) to join the mile high club, especially in this day and age of air travel. Not just because the bathrooms are small, but because flights are full and people are almost always lined up to use the lavs. Whenever a passenger takes a longer amount of time than what might be considered normal, you better believe other passengers are quick to ask me to intervene.
knock, knock, knock - I'll bang my fist on the door. Two seconds later I'll ask, "everything okay in there?" Taking a deep breath, I pray that everything is, in fact, okay in there because I really don't want to have to put my ear against the locked door and hear something I seriously didn't want to hear.
Just when I thought I had finally finished with this post, I logged into twitter and typed, "Just finished the mile high club post." Here are a few interesting responses...
-
I was once propositioned to join the club, but declined. The guy ended up buying me jewelry from the duty free cart instead. The good ole days!
- I came uncomfortably close to joining in the lower lobe galley on a DC-10
- I've never understood the 'mile high' club,as most seem to join in the lavatory. Do you know how dirty plane lavs are?
- I'm a flight attendant and just had this discussion with some pax who were sitting across from my jumpseat!
- If only the lavs were cleaner and larger
- My advice for those considering is ONLY on the 777 with a passenger from your ticketed cabin - the loo between F and J - that's ALL I'm saying
Don't forget to check out the "G" rated mile high club!
I'm a member! I wish I were a member I wish I weren't a member That's disgusting!
Photos courtesy of sparkypics (couple), Sagrado Corazon (flight attendant)
Filed under: Airlines, Galley Gossip















Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
frank96 Aug 11th 2009 11:46AM
:::smile:::::
I remember watching a couple sneak into the aft lavatory inflight on Valentine's day. LOL, how romantic, huh? They came out of the lavatory totally drenched in sweat. I gave them a smile and a "I know what you did" look.
On the way to STL, many years ago, I watched a female passenger pick up a guy in her row on a light flight. Before I knew it, she was in the aft lavatory of a DC-9 with the guy. I told the other flight attendants and we decided to take the last row of seats and wait...........as they opened the aft lav door and came out, we all clapped.
SLJ Aug 12th 2009 4:41PM
Nope--not uptight--not at all actually--just would prefer to keep my activities out of a flying porta-potty (like you can't find things just as fun to do outside of an airplane bathroom). Nothing to do with rolling around on the floor--don't do that when I use it for a bathroom either. Still yucky.
Ron Aug 11th 2009 10:33PM
33% think it's disgusting! Oh COME ON people....it may not be for you, but disgusting?
SLJ Aug 12th 2009 9:20AM
Ron--
Even using an airplane bathroom for its intended use is disgusting--why anyone would want to be intimate in that space is beyond me! Ewwwwwwwwww!
frank96 Aug 12th 2009 10:43AM
::::blushing::::
I wonder if Heather can tell who the "22" were who clicked on "I'm a member".
Alexa Aug 12th 2009 2:59PM
SLJ, you're probably one of those people who think semen is disgusting, too, aren't you? You're not rolling around on the floor or the toilet seat, just standing on the floor as you would if you were peeing (in your case). Fortunately, not everyone's as uptight as you are. Life's a lot more fun that way. ;-)
ng1336 Oct 11th 2009 11:20PM
i would say its disgusting coz ... ur hands are touching the lav surfaces where gems are residing where ur naked eyes can't see..... i once clean a lav with scats on it ..... would u lean ur head against the confined wall ?? cleaners will only clean the floor the most ..... n gosh we don't even have aroma diffuser in F Class lav ....
mj Aug 12th 2009 2:26AM
How about the flight attendant who got it on with Ralph Fiennes in the lav??
Julie Aug 13th 2009 11:19AM
In another life where I'd have a private plane I'd answer the poll with, "I wish I were a member." But, being a germaphobe (traveling in coach no less..and more often than not on a CRJ not a 777!), I'll have to stick with "That's disgusting!" Like you said, the lav is gross. I don't even want to have to go in there to pee. In fact, having to touch the door alone has kept me out of the laviators club hahah. It has to be a "I can hold it no more" situation for me to venture in there.
Anne Aug 13th 2009 1:40PM
I can't EVER imagine joining the club. As a flight attendant, the things I have seen done to those lavatories has made me start to gag. People are so disgusting and you wouldn't believe some of the gross stories if I told you. Those images are always in the back of my mind...its hard enough for me to use the lavatory for its REAL purpose knowing those things. Disgusting!!
I've caught 5 couples joining the club though...my favorite thing to do is slip a note through the crack of the door "We know you're in there!"
Ross Aug 13th 2009 3:50PM
I've heard some tales from a former Concorde pilot. If you think the lavs on a 747 are small, apparently Concorde's were really tight... and yet people could and did join the twelve-mile-high club from time to time.
Young and Dumb Aug 13th 2009 8:42PM
In another life, when I was young and idiotic (soooo long ago) my buddy bid partner and I flew a trip with two attractive (and single) pilots. Somewhere between Vegas and Houston we left the third in charge and had a weird makeout session with our respective guys in the cockpit. Didn't officially join, but the stars that night made for a really romantic (ha) view. And yes, I am ashamed. I just wanted to mention that the club doesn't always mean a dirty lav.
Kiwi Frequent Flier Nov 2nd 2009 6:06PM
There are definitely airlines and flights where it is easier. Any long haul, overnight flight where everyone is asleep is a bonus.
By far the best airlines I have ever seen are the bathrooms on some of the new SAS Scandianvian airbuses, which are so spacious they have multiple windows inside the bathroom - and have that nice spotlessly clean, IKEA baltic pine look about them that almosts invites you to consider joining the club, even if you might have had no inclination on any previous flight you'd ever flown! Not that I have done "it" on an SAS plane - but if I had to choose.....