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10 Passengers we love to hate: Day 5 -- American Idiots
I love America, and Americans. As someone who's spent a lot of time abroad, I can say with conviction that we are some of the warmest, friendliest, most determined and able people out there. Sometimes, we're even smart, savvy, funny, fashionable, interesting, all kinds of positive things -- but some of us? Are idiots.What I detest more than anything when traveling in a foreign country is the American Idiots -- many thanks to Green Day for the moniker.
You know these people. They're often obnoxious in America, too. They're the ones that are too loud in the bar, or the ones who tell slightly offensive jokes in mixed company and laugh their heads off, and the ones who demand preferential treatment wherever they go. These problems are exacerbated the second they cross the border.
There are several types of American Idiots you may encounter at the airport. The first kind is American tour groups. They travel in packs -- often wearing matching brightly colored shirts. American tour groups are really, really excellent at mass-oblivion moves like blocking the entrance to the baggage claim, blocking the restroom, and taking over the entire restroom, including with their bags all over the counters as they wait for the rest of their group. The worst part, in my opinion, is their tendency to make loud remarks to each other across the waiting area, and, eventually, across the plane, as though they were the only ones there. Sometimes they have entire conversations, or throw out something blue to embarrass one of their co-idiots (I'm looking at you, school groups). It's as though the minute they enter a foreign country, it becomes them-and-the-locals, and there's no need to pay the locals any notice. Who knows if they even speak English, right?
Well, they probably do. And there are almost always other Americans around, especially in the kind of destinations that tour groups hit. Stop making Americans look bad, tour groups. Have a little self-awareness and humble respect.
Next, let's talk about the families. Sorry families, but you're total jerks in foreign countries sometimes.
First of all, you brought your babies over on a very long flight and couldn't get them to stop screaming -- we assume you had your reasons for this trip that the baby won't remember -- or your adorable toddler kicked the back of my chair the entire way to Amsterdam. What we tend to see in American Idiot families (that is to say, not all families, but the ones that drive us nuts) is either a lack of discipline -- tell your adorable toddler to stop kicking my chair! -- or a demand for special treatment, as though nobody's ever had kids before. Parents, it may be your first time having your babies with you in a foreign country, but I have yet to discover a foreign country where they don't have any babies. You do not get skip to the front of the ticketing line. You do not get to let your children run amok and disturb the other passengers, whether it's because you're tired or because you think they're so cute that no one will mind. You do get to board early -- get your kids on the plane, get them settled, and teach them how to make a good name for our country. Buy them a coloring book or a magic pen workbook, something.
Lastly, there are the lone wolves. Found either solo or in couples, you'll usually find these American Idiots smoking in (or just outside) the designated smoking area at the airport. They've usually got a few drinks in them, and their volume control is totally non-functional. The first thing on these passengers' minds? How to get a free upgrade. They will loudly announce that they're Americans, attempt to bribe the agents with their fancy American dollars, and often insist on telling you what state they're from (I'm looking at you, Texas -- I waited tables in NYC when I was younger and am pretty sure I never served a Texan who didn't inform me of their Texan-ness, as though it were a totally relevant fact) in support of their argument. Sometimes, I've heard these people pull out historical references like "our country saved you guys when the Germans invaded," as though that should justify a free upgrade. You'll find them soon after their loud (or pointlessly loud-whispered) debacle in the airport bar, saying "They wouldn't give me an upgrade, can I get a free drink?" or chain smoking angrily. Guess what, lone wolves? Everyone hates you -- the foreign countries, and the Americans with their decency intact.
So, America, to the small percentage of you who travel abroad, please be considerate of others. But since you're someone who reads Gadling, I can only assume I'm preachin' to the choir.
Find more hopeless passengers here.
Filed under: Transportation, Airports
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Alex Jun 5th 2009 10:29AM
Hey, not all of us are total obnoxious idiots when it comes to travel. I will admit, however, that being half-English and sixteen, I've had my share of "America beat you in two wars and saved you in two more. We're BETTER than you." As if I'm not a citizen and a Boy Scout in the US. And I have noticed that most people who end up ticking me off on trips anywhere are American. Some are toddlers who just threw something across the aisle into my lap, or some drunk idiot practically shouting at everyone around him for no reason.
But, I've also had some good experiences with fellow American travellers. Well, just one. It involved our train from Vancouver to Seattle getting cancelled; my dad, five random travellers who lived in Seattle and me cramming into a minivan for 8 hours until we got back to our hotel at 3am and they were all polite and tried to keep my spirits up. (I was only 8 at the time.) So, while there are A LOT of terrible American travellers, don't label all of us that way.
Bruce Jun 5th 2009 10:45AM
This is to the OP:
Gee... That's really weird. We travel a lot too, and our experience is nothing like yours. Maybe we don't travel enough. This only our third overseas trip this year. I'm writing this from a village in Provence.
There are not the usual number of Americans overseas (it seems) as most years. We have traveled out of the U.S. pretty much yearly for about 30 years, and I could count the number of "ugly Americans" I've seen on one hand. I wish I could say that about some other nationalities. Most, however, are perfectly fine.
What you need to do is to get out more. Or, start hanging out in better places when you do travel. It's not nearly as bad as you make it out to be... Are you sure you're really American? Should I ask you who plays shortstop for the Yankees (that's a joke you would laugh at if you were a little older) ?
If your post was a class project, I'd give you a pretty low mark.
And to Alex: You need to travel a bit more. You won't really find that many obnoxious people from ANY country..
Alex Jun 5th 2009 4:55PM
Actually, I travel more than you'd think. And way more than the locals here. I visit family across the pond every two years and we usually go to a different state at least twice in the years we don't. I will agree that I see fewer Americans travelling, but that could be from the high cost of tickets and bad exchange rates with the Pound and Euro. And I suppose my bad experiences are just by bad luck. But when a Southner says with some volume that there's a towel-head on our plane, you lose respect for your countrymen. But I suppose bad experiences stick out more than the good. And I would LOVE to travel overseas just once a year, let alone THREE. Would you happen to have some extra accommodations on your next trip;)
Oh, and I DID laugh. The Yankees' shortstop was Philip Rizzuto or "The Scooter."
Justin Jun 5th 2009 12:47PM
This article is hillarious. I'm American in every which way, but have to agree that when I go overseas to Asia and/or Europe and make travels to Canada/Mexico, Americans are typically the only ones demanding to be treated with VIP in mind.
Whether its the ticket counter, hotel registration, or restaurant there is something about being on vacation or being an important business person that supposedly brings out the best in people (just in case, this is my sarcastic tone).
Don't get me wrong there are a fair amount of foreigners that come to America that make a complete ass out of themselves, but I have to say that because we have so much in America and are so politically correct in everything, I feel that we are training people here to become people with their noses to the air.
Ask your average person walking down the street and see if they have ever traveled more than 500 miles away from home and I am always surpised that many haven't. Then, go to Europe and ask what someone did last weekend. They might have taken the train from Paris to London just to go shopping or check out a museum exhibit. Experiencing different cultures as they do people develop better skills for appreciating what others have to offer.
I've been blessed in the fact that business takes me all over the world and I wish more people got a chance to do so because not everyone hates Americans out there. They just don't like the jackass who sits there and brags about how much better he is than everyone else in the world... No one does no matter what nationality you are.
johnmc Jun 5th 2009 3:39PM
To those who are getting offended, please re-read the first paragraph. Not all Americans are idiots, just like not all idiots are Americans. This post is about the crossover area. Unfortunately, because this small group is louder than normal, they tend to get noticed more. Let's all just take a deep breath.
Sue Jun 8th 2009 12:14AM
I might have missed the point here. There are obnoxious people all over this world. Not only the ones that have crossed your superior path in the skies. I think that we are going to have to employ the services of a good old John Deere to pull out the needle in your butt.
Martha Jun 9th 2009 8:13PM
Ha! This is hilarious and oh so true!
I'm from California, but have so far spent 4 years studying, working and living abroad and I know EXACTLY what you mean.
You're right, NOT all Americans, since most are not this way, but, unfortunately, there are waaaay too many who act the way you just described.
You forgot about American college students who arrive to Europe where there's no minimum drinking age, and take over European streets, partying, screaming, and getting drunk.
Some in my class faced expulsion from the university because one girl fell out of a 4th floor window in the middle of the night after heavy drinking and partying, and everyone was too drunk to notice. A taxi driver found the teen-age girl badly hurt on the street below. They were immediately driven to the airport to face disciplinary action back in our home campus.
BCN Jun 11th 2009 7:05PM
Hey, I laughed too. But in Europe, THERE IS a minimum drinking age. Just to clarify that.
I have a bad experience with a drunk american when I was at barcelona, and they were NOT underage. I'm talking full grown up guys here, about 35 or so. I has having dinner by the harbour in Barcelona with a bunch of girls from a class I was attending. We all were about 15 or 17 years old, well behaved, enjoying some paella and really just minding our own business. Then, these two guys approach us, clearly drunk and clearly american. And one of them tells us, with no shame at all, that it was his buddy bcahelor party and if there was "something special" we would like to give him ('wink' 'wink'). We just stare each other, completely amazed at the request. They stood there for like a minute, waiting for us to respond something back, smiling at us. Then they get the hint, and move on. I still can't believe that happened.
Marc Jun 9th 2009 10:37PM
This is a great rant - I can't wait to read the rest of the series! But first, as a Texan whose been traveling the world for the last 8 months with my 2 young children, I want to reassure everyone that we're not all like that!
It does drive me crazy how many other parents don't seem to care about teaching their kids how to behave in public, though most of the examples I've seen in my travels have NOT been Americans.
Americans also don't have a monopoly in the tour group department, either. In fact, the behaviors described here exactly match those of the Chinese tour groups we've encountered all over SE Asia - we've nearly been trampled to death at least twice!
Hopefully, there's room in the countdown for the Chinese - they are by fare the rudest, most insensitive travelers I've ever encountered. And I've met a lot of American Idiots.
Ava Jun 10th 2009 4:32PM
I'm not sure which is worse: the families or the drunken college students. Many of these same idiots are the main people asking the question: Why do they hate us?! Note to the idiots: It's not just "them" who detest you; some of your American comrades do, too.
As the world order continues to change (and simply it's the right thing to do), we Americans should definitely learn to be kinder and more tolerant to our fellow global citizens. Maybe the airlines should start showing "ugly traveler" videos on international flights (with various nationalities represented) so that people can see what a horrible impression they leave. On second thought, maybe not; I can only imagine the distorted view the idiots would take.
sue Jun 13th 2009 11:55PM
I have read all of the contents above. It seems that this airline person is not acquainted with the human condition. Drunk or not, babies or not, you have chosen the field that you're in. Nothing is perfect, no one is perfect regardless what your training has or has not prepared you for.
Your job is to do your training and not bitch about all of the small things that irritate you personally. This is what you have chosen to do. We, the passengers are not there to soothe your feelings, or alleviate your angst.
We are the reason that you have your job. Deal with it.
I, personally have not flown that much, but I do respect the on-board personnel and their duties. If I came upon someone with your attitude, I will
think twice about flying again with you.
I just fly short stops and have developed a great relationship with the crew. Break-downs or not, the crew has ALWAYS found a way to make the flight tolerable for adults and children. NOW, THAT'S GOOD TRAINING.
Unless we have to ditch in the ocean, and I have to rely on you, god help me.
Sue
boredwell Aug 4th 2009 8:30PM
Ah, the fabled "ugly American!" However, I would have to say while this observation is true it is not exclusive to Americans. What about those incorrigible Parisiennes who believe getting to the head the line is part of THEIR liberte, equalite and fraternite and do so without so much as a "desole" or tendering a perfectly acceptable alternative "pardon?" Then there are the Germans who persist in quizzing you about American politics thinking it a perfectly introductory topic for conversation although you've just met the person(s)? Or, when in Egypt, Turkey or Italy, those males who feel they are enfranchised to touch you arbitrarily and insult you when you take offense? Yes, traveling is an education. And Americans often seem to have a lot to learn. We take up the most personal space of any people on the planet and, I must agree, we are, for the most part, loud. But we share these flaws with many other nationalities, too.