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Life Nomadic: Tynan's Top Ten Cruise Tips
Ahoy! Here's a quick followup on my last post about cruising, posted from Royal Caribbean's Vision of the Seas. I've been on a bunch of cruises now, and have come up with a few tips and tricks to help you get the most out of your cruise.
1. If you're really into safety, go to the "mandatory" lifeboat safety drill. If you've been to one before or think that you can handle following the green arrows and putting on your life vest, stay inside your cabin. They don't actually check names or your cabin to make sure you go.
2. Never go on official shore excursions. If you just walk off the ship you'll find lines of touts waiting to give you the same thing for half the price, usually with more flexibility if you want something slightly different. Walk past the touts and you'll usually find stores offering the same tours for 25-30% of the cruise line quoted price.
3. When choosing your cabin, choose one near the stairwells and elevators. You'll be making that walk many times every day.
4. At dinner you can order as many things off the menu as you want, not just one appetizer, salad, and entree. My record is 31 plates divided between a friend and I.
5. You can also have meals customized based on your dietary needs. Contacting the cruise line in advance will get more promises than actual actions, but if you talk to the Maitre'D the first night, he'll make sure you get what you want.
6. Don't eat your meals at the buffets or informal dining rooms. The food quality in the main dining rooms is ten times better. If you're hungry before or after your assigned dinner time, go to the other seating and eat two dinners.
7. Insist on carrying your own bags up to your room when you check in. If you give them to the porters you'll end up waiting in your cabin for a few hours for your stuff, and you'll have to tip them. It's a short walk to carry them yourself and you'll be able to explore the ship as soon as you get in.
8. On long cruises, don't buy an internet package until the first sea day. The daily newspaper will usually have a 50% off sale, and you can use the minutes you buy for the rest of the cruise.
9. Make friends early. A good way to do this is to enter contests or sing karaoke on the first day there. People will recognize you and start conversations. If you have a choice of what size table to sit at, pick the biggest one possible.
10. You will be assigned a checkout time for the last day of the cruise. The cheaper your cabin, generally, the earlier it will be. Do like I do and ignore the time. Pack up the night before and sleep in until the maid comes knocking to clean your room for the next group. I've been the last person off the ship every single time.
Bonus tip: Make friends with the staff. They're from all different countries and have all sorts of stories. They also know the ins and outs of each port and might even invite you to the staff parties, which are a lot crazier than the passenger parties.
6. Don't eat your meals at the buffets or informal dining rooms. The food quality in the main dining rooms is ten times better. If you're hungry before or after your assigned dinner time, go to the other seating and eat two dinners.
7. Insist on carrying your own bags up to your room when you check in. If you give them to the porters you'll end up waiting in your cabin for a few hours for your stuff, and you'll have to tip them. It's a short walk to carry them yourself and you'll be able to explore the ship as soon as you get in.
8. On long cruises, don't buy an internet package until the first sea day. The daily newspaper will usually have a 50% off sale, and you can use the minutes you buy for the rest of the cruise.
9. Make friends early. A good way to do this is to enter contests or sing karaoke on the first day there. People will recognize you and start conversations. If you have a choice of what size table to sit at, pick the biggest one possible.
10. You will be assigned a checkout time for the last day of the cruise. The cheaper your cabin, generally, the earlier it will be. Do like I do and ignore the time. Pack up the night before and sleep in until the maid comes knocking to clean your room for the next group. I've been the last person off the ship every single time.
Bonus tip: Make friends with the staff. They're from all different countries and have all sorts of stories. They also know the ins and outs of each port and might even invite you to the staff parties, which are a lot crazier than the passenger parties.
Filed under: Cruises, Life Nomadic
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
masanddjs Apr 24th 2009 10:46AM
About that lifeboat drill. I was on a cruise when there was a fire in the engine room and we all had to report to our lifeboat stations with our vests. I think that myself and everyone else on the ship were glad that the drill we had had a few days before was mandatory. They checked cabins, etc., to be sure that everyone was on the deck. On a cruise last summer in the Baltics, they checked your status on deck electronically with a scanner and your room key.
DJ Apr 24th 2009 10:53AM
Rooms near stairwells and elevators are always noisy!!!! Some cruise lines don't let you carry your bags on yourself. It's mandatory to hand them over upon arrival at the port.
Karen Alford Willett Apr 24th 2009 3:04PM
I disagree with almost everything on Tynan' list and I am also a frequent cruiser. I've been stuck for over an hour while they tracked down people who didn't show up for the lifeboat drill. Shore excursions are usually cheaper if arranged off the ship but if you are tendering, the ship's trips leave first and the ship will wait if you are delayed while on shore. It has happened to me on more than one occasion. His/her dining habits are stunning -- 31 plates? I have enjoyed the different dining options on board and have found most of them to be good if not great. If I don't have large bags, I might carry them on but usually I let the porters (whom I happily tip a few $$) put everything through security screening and deliver it to my room, and I don't wait for my bags. I am too busy exploring the ship. I think getting to know your fellow travelers and staff is wonderful but would be very careful about attending any below deck parties as the staff can be penalized for infractions. Overall, I would not care to travel with Tynan as we have very different styles.
cruisemates Apr 27th 2009 11:27AM
Those are some of the worst cruise tips I have ever read.
1. They do check and usually invite you to a second drill the next day. Attending is a common courtesy because the ship is legally required to get you there, and in the interest of safety.
2. You take a risk using a non-ship tour, your tip is OK, but should be qualified
3. Rooms by elevators are the noisiest on a ship. You hear bells and people talking outside your door the whole cruise.
4. Isn't 31 entrees a bit excessive?
5. You are supposed to tell the ship before you arrive about special diets so they can stock the right food. The maitre D' is likely to say "sorry." Plus you then have to tip him.
6. What is an "informal dining room" if not the buffet or the main dining room?
7. You don't see the people (room stewards) who get your bags to your room on the ship - the stevedores at the dock only get them to port security. You don't have to tip them. It's up to you. You tip your room steward anyway.
8. I have never seen 1/2 off any internet packages. 10% off maybe. Not a bad tip if you need to save $3.50 and not use the Internet for a day and 1/2.
9. Good tip - just don't share your other cruise tips at the table ;-)
10. A great tip as long as no one takes your bag by mistake or the immigration officers don't leave for the day.
Thanks for the laughs, though!
masanddjs Apr 25th 2009 1:52AM
I believe bags are xrayed now and MUST be turned over upon arrival to the ship
JD Apr 26th 2009 12:27AM
These are the worst tips ever. A few of them are flat out laughable. I feel for anyone who actually follows any of them.
Samuel May 20th 2009 12:20PM
I love cruise tips like this. It's misinformation and bad advice like this that floats out on the internet that make people realise how important it is to work with a true travel professional who will give GOOD advice and not this half baked nonsense.
Skippping lifeboat drills (mandatory under international maritime law) will be noticed on most cruiselines and you will either hold up everyone else while they wait for you, or you will have to attend a secondary drill the next day.
I rarely do cruiseline excursions as I am independent, but there are several ports of call where the advice to 'NEVER' use a cruiseline tour is just plain bad. Places like Kusadasi (for Ephesus), Alexandria, Egypt, or even in Jamaica. Safety and or logistical issues in these ports can cause big problems for travellers who try and save a $ or two - better to enjoy your trip without these concerns and book a licensed, insured operator via the cruiseline even if it's a few $ more.
I can only assume from other posts in this blog that this person never takes travel insurance either. Shame - those expensive airfares you had to buy to catch up with the ship (not too mention reimbursement for taxis, extra hotel nights, meals) would all have been covered by a good policy which would have cost a fraction of the amount you were out of pocket.
Johnnie Rhodes Nov 22nd 2009 1:33AM
I agree with most of the things in this article, and here is another site that has good cruise tips:
http://www.thecruisinginsider.com
But I have to say that I'm a little leery of taking the cruise excursions available at the docks as opposed to the excursions arranged by the cruise line. Why? You're in another country, you don't know these people, and you're letting them carry you away. Don't get me wrong, there are certain ports we know very well (such as Cozumel), where we do go our own way... but most of the time we play it safe.
Also, call me an early bird, but we like to do the "self checkout," where you carry your own bags off the ship. This way, they'll let you be one of the first ones off. With a long day of travel, the last thing we want is to be midnight getting home, so we like an early start.
Ashlee Jan 6th 2011 8:33PM
This is without a doubt the absolute worst set of tips I have ever seen anywhere. Please do us all the service of advertising heavily months in advance which ships, and dates you will be cruising so the rest of us can avoid you, and your party.
1. So you are the one. You are the dirt bag that keep the rest of us standing under a lifeboat wearing a hot life jacket forever and a day while they have to go and find your lazy rear end. Thanks a lot idiot, I bet you would be the one running around like a chicken with it's head cut off if something did go wrong, shoving women and children out of the way to save your own precious butt.
2. As has already been pointed out here there are certain ports where this is bad advice due to the inherent risk of going it on your own. When I was on one island as a 15 year old I was asked if I wanted to buy ganja 3 times within two blocks of the ship (probably very lucky nothing bad happened to me that day). Additionally if your tour runs late and it is not sanctioned by the cruise you are going to have a lot of fun watching your ship and belongings sail away with out you. Sometimes going on your own is fine, but it is not something I would recommend to a first timer, or unseasoned cruiser on any but the most commercial and safest of islands.
3. As stated multiple times, rooms by elevators or stairs are among the noisiest rooms on the ship. The only rooms you could choose that would be worse would be those too close to a galley(kitchen) or one of the public rooms that has a lot of late night activity. Besides if you really shared 31 dishes at one meal with a single partner you really probably need the exercise anyway.
4. You are of course free to eat as much as you want on a cruise, but my Lord is it some kind of personal challenge for you? You can't eat ALL the food on the ship so you need not bother trying. You remind me of the women they caught stealing food from the buffet after it closed down for the night on the last cruise I went on.
5. Again so you are the dirt bag that thinks the world revolves around you and that you and you alone shouldn't have to follow the guidelines about requesting special dietary requirements. I bet you wear jeans and shorts (or have attempted to) in to the dining room as well haven't you?
6. What?!? Outside of the Freestyle, or select dining concepts they don't let you just stroll in to the main dining room anytime you want and sit at any table you want at least for dinner. Now the proper way to do this is to order room service from your cabin off of the dinner menu which is available during normal dining hours.
7. Security requirements forbid you from carrying your own bags on the ship these days, and thank God they do because there is nothing worse then waiting behind some idiot blocking up the gangway while trying to manhandle 5 pieces of luggage at a time. It's bad enough to have to put up with people like you in the airport, I really don't care to deal with it at the ship terminal too.
8. I don't get people that can't live without internet for as little as 3 to 7 days. Isn't the point of going on vacation to get away from it all? It reminds me of all the people that whip out their cell phones the instant the ship is in range of the land based network.
9. People will recognize you and find a way to avoid you based on the advise you have given here. Ever heard the response to " I'll see you later," that goes, "Not if I see you first"? Well that phrase was created for people like you.
10. One last time, so you are the dirt bag that is clogging up the gangway and hallways because you can't follow the rules. And incidentally how much you paid for your cabin has little to nothing to do with when you are let off the ship. Only the very upper tier suites get priority debarkation. Debarkation is generally based on whether or not you are local or have a flight to catch, and whether or not you have an early or late flight. So in addition to just being a nuisance you are causing needless stress to a bunch of people trying to catch flights home.
Bonus Tip. Fraternization is frowned upon by most cruise lines, and can even cause a cruise employee to lose their job. But then a person like you really doesn't care what kind of disruption you cause in other people's lives as long as it doesn't directly impact your life do you?
K Najera Dec 3rd 2012 9:57AM
This seems more like a list of what NOT to do rather than a helpful post. I'm going on my first cruise this weekend and I'm glad I read other posts before this one. Pretty ridiculous...