Crop circles are over. Enter crop triangles!

It started in the English countryside, we think. Now they've been spotted everywhere from Iowa to the open fields of Mexico: Crop Polygons.

Crop circles have been appearing all over the world for years, with debates going back and forth over whether they're alien, man-made, or some crazy weather phenomenon. Now, as if mother nature is slapping us in the face and laughing, we are suddenly being presented with crop triangles, rectangles, and there are even rumors of a hexagon near Dyersville, Iowa.

"We're just glad there are no pentagons or stars," says a local farmer. "That would be scary."

"Look what those bastard aliens did to my corn," says another.

The perfect circles are typically created by using a rope and cutting/orbiting around a specified central point. In theory, the fastest way to create these new shapes would be to place a triangle or square form around an epicenter and pull ropes out equidistant from that center, lining up with the angles of the shape. By connecting those endpoints, they would create a perfect, larger version of that shape.

We hope that is what's happening, because if someone has found another way to do this, chances are that person is wasting even more time than necessary.

Filed under: April Fools Posts