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Galley Gossip: Celebrities on the plane game

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on Mar 30th 2009 at 9:30AM

I see celebrities all the time on the airplane. In fact, on my last flight one of the Real Housewives of New York City (the one who is not exactly a housewife) slept all the way from New York to Los Angeles. The first thing I noticed was the cutest eye mask I've ever seen. It practically covered her entire face. When she woke up and came to the back galley for a glass of water, I couldn't help but notice that even though she looks good on television, she's even prettier in real life. Not normally the case when it comes to celebrities.

On the same flight an actress from The Shield, one of my husband's favorite television shows, decided the best time to put on her gold, tall, high heel boots was not on descent into Los Angeles, not as we were taxiing to the gate, and not as all 200 passengers unbuckled their seat belts, stood up, grabbed their bags out of the overhead bin, and slowly but surely exited the aircraft. Oh no, she didn't stick her feet inside those boots and zip them up until every single passenger on board the airplane had departed. Because flight attendants can't leave until all passengers have deplaned, eight of us just stood there holding onto our own bags quietly waiting for those high heel boots to walk.

I've already written about Lindsay Lohan throwing a fit over a denied first class seat, Bret Michael's wonderful manners aboard my mother's flight, Ivana Trump calling two adorable kids barbarians, so you better believe I've got stories! Here's your chance to figure out which celebrity goes with the story...

THE CELEBRITIES: Lauren Bacall, Bobby Brown, Michael Bolton, Leonardo DiCaprio, Sean Combs, Ethan Hawke, Goldie Hawn, Anthony Kiedis, Whitney Houston, Michael Jackson, Angelina Jolie, Kimora Lee, Alanis Morrisette, Rosie O'Donnell, Dolly Parton, Diana Ross, Britney Spears, Uma Thurman, Luther Vandross, Barbara Walters, Elijah Woods, Raquel Welch

THE STORIES:

Wouldn't breath the air at 35,000 feet without a face mask, but had no problem eating two airplane meals
Did sit ups on the floor in first class
Fell asleep with a hand down the pants
Ran to the bathroom as the airplane was taxiing to the gate
Refused to wear a seat belt until threatened to be taken off the flight
Asked the pilot not to make any announcements in flight because, "the baby is sleeping."
Actually worked the cart down the aisle and then invited the crew over to spend the night on the layover
Bit toenails in business class
Cut an omelet into bite size pieces with a knife and fork and then proceeded to use hands to eat it - not the knife and fork.
Ordered the flight attendant not to talk to "her man!" when the flight attendant asked, "Would you like something to drink?"
Flirted with the captain's six foot tall, very mature looking, 16 year-old daughter who was non-reving in first class
Traveled with the largest entourage I've ever seen
Exited the lavatory with spouse looking extremely disheveled
Told a flight attendant, "My dog likes you. I don't know why."
Gave a gate agent $50 after borrowing the agent's cell phone for ten seconds
Left such a mess in first class, passengers and crew were shocked
Due to a fear of flying, would only sit in the first row of first class.
Lectured a flight attendant on the importance of being nice to his mother on mother's day
Sat in first class while son sat in coach.
Got caught checking out the flight attendants you-know-what as she walked down the aisle
Spent a good half hour watching an in-flight entertainment segment about themselves
Sat in coach even though their movie was #1 at the box office
Wouldn't allow a passenger in the window seat to pass in order to use the lavatory until that passenger quietly meditated with them first.

Photos courtesy of (Britney Spears) eupaparazzi, (Leonardo DiCaprio) Chaubaby

Filed under: Galley Gossip

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 2)

DJ Mar 30th 2009 10:45AM

Duh, somebody has to be the LAST person off the plane. Why not her and her boots?

Stijn Mar 30th 2009 12:13PM

Nice one! ;)
Interesting stories though!
Eating an omlette with your hands XD

MTN Mar 30th 2009 10:54AM

Will we get the answers?

Nora Charles Mar 30th 2009 2:34PM

I love you Heather! I’m laughing so hard my guts hurt. Another Galley Gossip classic. I think you should have a contest to see if anyone can match all twenty-three. I don't think I can (Or really want to. Do you want to really know who chews their toenails? Gross.)

Barbara Walters was Surprised that her dog liked you, and Rosie O’Donnell worked the cart and invited you over to her house. How am I doing so far?

Keep up the great writing.

Cheers!

Heather Poole Apr 1st 2009 2:52PM

No and no!

wineharlots Apr 1st 2009 1:24PM

Great post.

Lets’s see. Whitney wanted you to stop talking to her man. Whitney & Bobby Brown shared the bathroom. The toe nails are to disgusting to contemplate. Ditto the hand down the pants. Angelina Jolie asked for no announcements because the baby was sleeping, the face mask freakshow was clearly Michael Jackson…..

Heather Poole Apr 1st 2009 2:55PM

Oh man, you're getting good. That was not Angelina

Julie Apr 1st 2009 1:19PM

Hahah this was too funny, we have been sitting here trying to match these up for awhile, you'll have to give up the answers! After watching a few episodes of "Life in the Fab Lane" I almost think the person who requested no announcements was Kimora, but it could be Britney too if she actually said "my Baby"..I think she refers to her kids as "Baby" or "Babies" a lot. I agree with wineharlots, the oxygen guy had to have been Michael Jackson. Could the toenail biter be the guy from Red Hot Chili Peppers? I'd really like to see who watched the in-flight entertainment about themselves too, that is hilarious.

Heather Poole Apr 1st 2009 2:55PM

You got Michael right!

FlightMemory Apr 1st 2009 12:57PM

Hi Heather,

you rock - really, you do. Read a couple of your articles and it is really amazing how well you do it.
Your quiz is too much for me, though...but I would throw in a small prize, if anyone really makes it :-)

Heather Poole Apr 1st 2009 2:54PM

How about flight attendant greeting cards designed by me!

Tina Apr 1st 2009 12:53PM

Is there some funny video which might accompony these stories? If anybody has, please upload a torrent at http://file.sh - such things schould find their spectators!

Frank Apr 1st 2009 12:52PM

Psssstttt.

I've had a certain Reverend that does the "Lucy" everytime he flies. Lucille Ball was famous for not talking to the "help". Rev. does all his communications through his assistance onboard. Both coat hanging and beverage orders.

Frank Apr 1st 2009 11:46AM

Actually worked the cart down the aisle and then invited the crew over to spend the night on the layover
-------------------------------------------

My guess: Dolly Parton

I know a Captain who had Dolly on his flight. She stopped by the cockpit to say, "Hello". He, of course, invited her inside the cockpit. The Captain said, "My daughter just loves you. As a small child, we used to play a song by you to put her to sleep" She replied, "Lets call her." As the Daughter answers the phone, Dolly begins singing that song into the cellphone. She was just blown away by her kindness.
Celebrity reputations get around by flight attendants. I've heard numerous "wonderful stories" about Dolly

Heather Poole Apr 1st 2009 2:53PM

YES! You got it, Frank. Dolly is an amazing person.

Sharon Apr 2nd 2009 10:38AM

Isn't there some type of "confidentiality" clause that flight attendants should abide by?

Frank Apr 2nd 2009 7:22PM

Nope. You're reputation gets around in the air. LOL.

Had an anchorman from a morning show on my flight a few years ago. Threw a fit because we were holding the flight 25 minutes for other passengers. The Captain explained that those passengers were fleeing a big hurricane in Florida and thought it wouldnt be too big of an inconvenience since we all had watched the coverage on the news.
See the irony in this? A News/weather reporter didnt want to wait for other passengers in a horrible WEATHER situation.
I tell people about his lack of compassion all the time.

Karma