There won't be many lonely nights in Tampa this Super Bowl weekend. Prostitutes, it seems, will be widely available. As one of these sex workers remarked, "Pimps see the Super Bowl as a moneymaking opportunity sent by God." So, if you're making the trek down to Florida for the biggest sporting event of the year, know that you won't be alone.

Now, if street-corner encounters are not for you, remember that Tampa is the world's lap dance capital. Strippers will be out in force, with memories of their financial success from Super Bowl XXXV. Bernie Notte, for example, remembers pulling down $6,000 in four days and dancing even after her feet bled. Liquored up football fans were willing to drop $100 for a $25 dance.

Why focus on strip clubs gentlemen's clubs? Tampa has 43 of them. "Trampa," as some call it, has what everyone wants: "Football and naked girls."

Interestingly, local authorities expect, to a certain extent, that patrons will be on the "honor system," as they are not stepping up enforcement for the weekend. So, it is up to you to maintain the six-foot distance from a stripper that is required by law. Obviously, local strip club owners are happy about this.

Not that you have any chance of getting that close anyway ...

Approximately 7,000 journalists from 500 media organizations have received credentials for the Super Bowl, and they'll all be pushing up against the main stage when the game is over. Don't worry, though. The media industry is in crisis, and these guys will run out of singles in less time than it takes to pound an $8 beer.

[Photo of Carmen Luvana thanks to Adam & Eve]

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