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Galley Gossip: A question about being a flight attendant and having a young child at home
Dear Heather
You said your husband travels over 100,000 miles per year, and you are spending January away from home. Isn't that hard on your child? I think I'd find a career that kept me home more often.
DJ
Dear DJ,
Two weeks ago I found myself commuting home in first class sitting next to a seventeen year-old boy on a flight from New York to Los Angeles. "Are you going to LA on vacation?" I asked him.
"No, I'm going to Sydney, Australia. I'm just connecting through Los Angeles," he said as he took a bite of ice cream covered in hot fudge.
I looked around the cabin for his parents, but there were no parent-y looking people sitting nearby "Are you going there alone?"
"Yeah. I have friends there."
"Wow," I said, because not only had I never traveled overseas until I began working international routes in 1998 at the age of twenty-six, I still haven't been to Australia, a place I'm dying to visit one day. "I'm really impressed," I added.
He smiled. "My dad's a Captain."
And there you have it, ladies and gentleman, the benefits of being the child of an airline employee. Something tells me that the kid I sat next to in first class, the one eating an ice cream sundae who was on his way to meet friends in Australia is not complaining about the fact that his father worked a job that took him away from home. Though I could be wrong.
Even though my career does take me away from home when I'm working, I feel I have more quality time with my son than other parents who work a regular job who have limited time with their children in the evenings due to after school activities, chores, and parent fatigue. Because when I'm home, I'm home for days at a time. Sometimes even weeks at a time. Keep in mind that a typical flight attendant works twelve to sixteen days a month. Sure some flight attendants choose to work more hours, picking up extra trips on the side, while others work less - like me!
As you mentioned above, my husband does travel over 100,000 miles a year, but he leaves on the first flight of the day and usually makes it home by dinner time. Because we don't have family nearby to help us with our two year-old son, I work a reduced schedule. On months that I can hold a line, I usually work three, two-day, trips, which totals to six days of work a month. That means I work one week and have three weeks off. Not bad, I say.
Because my husband travels often and I commute from Los Angeles (where I live) to New York (where I work), when I'm on reserve (which isn't often) I bring my son along with me to New York. Though I am on call to the company 24 hours a day, I do have twelve schedule days off. That means I'll be on-call for five to six days straight and then have three to four days off. This month while I'm on-call, my son is staying with his grandparents who live in Long Island, a twenty minute train ride away. On my days off we spend time together. Some months I'll even fly him to Texas where he'll spend four to five days with his other set of grandparents. You can bet they are all excited to have this time to bond with him. During the last week of the month, I will fly with my son back to Los Angeles where he will spend one week with his father who has been forbidden to travel while I finish out the month on reserve in New York. It's during this time he gets to bond, really bond, with his father. And that works for our family.
While it's not always easy for me to be away from my son during reserve months, he looks forward to seeing his grandparents and spending valuable time with them. In fact, the minute he got off the airplane last week he wanted to go to his grandparents house.
"Let's go see grandma!" he kept saying, rolling his Mickey Mouse bag behind him through the JFK terminal.
In my book it's because of my crazy schedule that he has become a very well rounded and well mannered child. Let's face it, if it weren't for my job, the one that takes me away from home, and the traveling benefits that come along with the job that takes me away from home, my son probably wouldn't get a chance to get to know the people who love him so. And that, I think, is a good thing!
Photo courtesy of allposters.com
Filed under: Galley Gossip
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Michael de la Force Jan 9th 2009 11:50AM
Dear Heather,
Very well put! While everyone may not be able to make it work, you are a well-rounded grounded
(no pun intended) person who can accomplish excellent motherhood while maintaining your career.
Break a leg!
Michael
PG Jan 9th 2009 1:03PM
Thank you very much for sharing this article, which proved to be informative (about the airline industry) and uplifting (in terms of family bonds). Safe travels to you Mme.
john Jan 9th 2009 1:16PM
Interesting stuff. I assume he's not old enough for school yet?
LawyerChick Jan 9th 2009 3:35PM
Brava, Heather!
Talk about work-life "balance" - this sounds more like a juggling gig with multiple team members. I'd add some other benefits, too - your son grows up knowing that moms can work outside the home, he learns that dads know how to be the primary caregiver, and he's probably really well-socialized. (Your son, I meant, not your husband!)
Traytable Jan 9th 2009 10:13PM
Well said, Heather. As long as your son knows he is loved, that is far better than seeing a parent everyday who may not be as interested in him. Every family is different... and yours sounds pretty-well adjusted for an 'airline family'
chickenorbeef Jan 10th 2009 11:12PM
Heather,
Thanks for addressing kids of flight attendant. I'm a single mom of two and have been flying 21 years. I do have to agree with you that I spend more time with my kids then other single parents. It's taught my ex husband to be a hands on dad...and because of this he's a great father to our kids!
Gaynell Conley Jan 11th 2009 11:47PM
KUDOS! From one Flight Attendant to another!
jennifer Jan 12th 2009 11:45AM
Great article. I am a mom of two (14 and 10) & a F/A. When I came back to work after having my boys (at 8 weeks!) my father was their primary caregiver when my now ex and I were at work. To this day I think they would rather be with Grandad than anyone else. Not every kid is lucky enough to know their g/p. It won't be easy but I hope your son can continue to have time with his g/p after he starts school.
Susan Jan 12th 2009 5:34PM
Hi Heather,
It sounds like you have it all together and I don't want to be a downer but of course it is easy now...you only have ONE child and he is NOt in school yet...NOt that it can't be done but it will get a little harder to juggle. As for the young man you met on the flight- he is lucky if his airline family took advantage of flying nonrev flights. As a nonrev famliy (of six) we were able to show our children the world... it was so much fun!! Exciting, etc! I'm talking all over the US, Europe, Hawaii every year, etc. I have been surprised to encounter many airline families who NEVER travel-ever. I mean this does not commute (so to speak.) They say it is too stressful to deal with the uncertainty of nonrev flight. In over 20 years we maybe had to stay at a hotel 3 times when we couldn't get on a connecting flight....and as far as the kids they just thought of it as part of the adventure. I know of one airline family where the Dad is a captain. He refuses to get on an airplane on his days off. Heather, have you run into many airline people like this? So anyway, when I fly nonrev by myself here is my secret for getting a seat. I was sitting at the airport most of the day and all the flights were full and leaving one after the other without me...so as I waited on the last flight of the day I thought-OK, if I don't get on I will stay at the Westin-great dining and cocktails, wonderful work-out room, maybe I'll even order room service. And just as I am beginning to want to NOT get on the flight...my name is called!!LOL
Susan
Jan van Eck (CT) Jan 26th 2009 1:02AM
Further to your comment on unaccompanied minors, I suspect I still hold the record as the youngest UM to fly the Atlantic both ways. I was sixteen months. It was October 1947 and exchange controls on the currency kept my parents from going with me. I was tossed onto a KLM aircraft in Amsterdam and sent on to LGA, a 24-hour marathon in a triple-connie doing perhaps 240, by way of Shannon, maybe Iceland, certainly Gander, then LGA. Then interlined onto somebody else to go onward to PHL. And then all the way back. That stunt made all the newsreels and front pages of the New York papers; I was carried on and off the aircraft by the flight attendants.
Just to make sure flying stays in the family bloodline, I took my young son flying three months before he was born - New Haven to Pittsfield in a Beech single, with a few stops in between on 1800 ft strips just for practice. Mom did fine on the controls! (her first try at it).
At about age 10, I did the run again, also as a UX, also a KLM Connie. The starboard inboard caught fire somewhere over the blackness of the Atlantic - quite spectacular. That was my first diverted landing. Hopped another Connie in Newfoundland to get back home. Been flying ever since; but sure love that old Connie. Fond memories. Nowadays you just can't toss infants onto those trans-Atlantic flights. Oh, well.
tintin Apr 8th 2009 11:17AM
Hi, I agree that it's a little bit hard to be a working mom with a young child. As a mother I really experience this kind of life too but we are in different kind of job. For your standing, I think it is too hard for you to coop up especially your job is on travel. But don't get worried, just cheer up, that's life. Keep strong! Thanks for sharing this post.