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The "Travel Test": Before you administer it...
Travel Test: (noun) a trip that is taken fairly early in a relationship and designed to gauge the commitment level and compatibility of the two persons involvedPassing the Travel Test usually leads to a deeper relationship and greater trust. Failing the Travel Test signals the end of the relationship and often results in either one or both parties despising the other.
Whether he liked/knew it or not, every one of my boyfriends has been given the Travel Test. While most of them passed the Test enough for us to continue our relationship, one of them failed the Test so miserably that I had to flee Italy, undergo therapy, and ultimately move away to avoid further contact with him. With that experience alone, I wholeheartedly believe in the Travel Test, but there are some distinctions that need to be made if the Test is to serve as a true relationship gauge.
Thus, here are a few tips BEFORE you embark on a journey with the possible yet untested love of your life:
- The Relationship: Don't hit the road with your partner unless you feel it's worth testing. Make sure the relationship is strong and healthy beforehand, as traveling with a loved one always puts a strain on the relationship no matter how solid it is.
- Timing: The Test should be administered in the early stages of the relationship -- around 6-12 months after it started. At this point in the relationship, you should know your partner well enough to plan and prepare accordingly.
- Location and Length: If this is your first Test or if your partner is not well-traveled, it might be best to go somewhere close by, familiar, or technically "easy" and to travel for no longer than 2 weeks. If you're both travel pros and want to truly test each other, then go for broke -- make the trip exotic and long.
- Plan ahead for road bumps: It's always best to have an exit strategy even if you're certain things will work out while you're on the road. Come to some sort of agreement before you go as to how you're going to handle one another if things fall apart while you're on the trip. This will be one less conversation you will want or need to have later.
Filed under: Learning, Stories, Travel Health
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)
Liz Kao Dec 11th 2008 1:02PM
I just read your truly-failed test story - OMG what a S.O. travel story from hell!!!
These are some very helpful tips here... Living in SF, I think it's an easy jaunt to Napa, Sonoma, Mendocino, or Yosemite (if you want to "rough it"), to administer the Travel Test.
Re: planning ahead for road bumps. any example scripts you can share with us as to what have been most effective negotiations for you? :)
Brenda Dec 11th 2008 9:36PM
hey Liz!
glad you liked the tips. as for the road bumps and exit strategy, a conversation starter might go something like, "What should we do if we start hating each other? Should we continue traveling together or go our separate ways?" i remember watching Flo and Zach on the Amazing Race and thinking Zach would be so better off alone. that's at the heart of the matter, i think: "Know when to hold 'em / Know when to fold 'em" (Kenny Rogers). :)
aloha,
Brenda
Skylab Dec 11th 2008 5:24PM
I never thought of it like that but your article makes perfect sense. The travel test works 100%. Great article!
Grant Martin Dec 11th 2008 11:22PM
Two WEEKS? My travel test is like two days.
www.plwha.org Dec 12th 2008 10:26PM
Your travel experience is extremely valuable to other PLWHA
Sometimes the official information about HIV travel restrictions differs from the reality discovered by positive travelers. Recently a good friend told me that she applied for residence in Poland and she didnt have to undergo a medical testing,contrary to the official specifications.
Please post your travel experiences in this blog ( http://countries.bravejournal.com )so we can have a clearer idea about positive traveling and help each other.
http://www.plwha.org