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Galley Gossip: A question about traveling with kids and scoring an extra seat

by Heather Poole (RSS feed) on Nov 21st 2008 at 11:30AM

Dear Heather,

I've written to you before and now I have another question. So I've told you that we're traveling w/ our one-year old next month. No car seat, etc. Are there any sneaky ways to insure that we could get an 'empty' seat for her???? I think currently we have it booked so my husband gets the window seat and I get the aisle. We thought that might work as nobody would want to sit in the middle of us. But, I'm sure they'll have to put a single traveler in the middle. We're leaving on the 26th of December w/ American Airlines. I'm sure it will be busy, but what do you think?

Thanks so much!
Marlo

Dear Marlo,

I remember your question, as my answer did get quite a rise out of many Gadling readers, especially those who do what I do for a living. Flight attendants everywhere scolded me for telling you that it was okay to travel without the car seat, even though I did point out that it was much safer to book the extra seat and take the car seat along with you. For those of you who missed that one, here's a link to Galley Gossip: a question about traveling with car seats and strollers. If you'll be traveling with kids during the Thanksgiving and Christmas holiday season, make sure to check it out, along with Galley Gossip: The best invention for kids on the airplane - CARES,

As for scoring a middle seat, Marlo, I think you did all that you can do, as that's exactly what I would have told you to do - book the aisle and window and leave the middle seat open. Remember, you are traveling during one of the busiest holidays of the year, so if the flight is not full, it's probably getting there. I have yet to work an empty flight this year. Since the back of the airplane is a lot less desirable than the front (and also bumpier if there's turbulence) you could move your seats to the rear of the aircraft, cross your fingers, and pray no one wants to sit that close to the toilet. It's your best bet. I'd also like to point out that there are going to be mostly other families traveling during the holiday season, so that single traveler sitting between you and your husband is probably not a single traveler at all, but a traveler displaced from their family, a traveler who is praying he or she can get you to move to another seat! So be patient. Be kind. And remember, holiday travel is never fun. Unless you can just relax and go with the flow.

Your question brought back a memory from long ago, so there's one more thing I'd like to mention. If you do decide to book the aisle and window seats, leaving the middle seat open in an attempt to score the extra room, remember that middle seat passengers are people too. Please, do not talk over the unfortunate person who ends up getting stuck between the two of you. And please, do not pass things over the person, particularly food, even if you think that person is sleeping. Twice I've awoken to loud voices, crumbs in my lap, and my magazine gone after getting stuck between two people traveling together. For more information on what you should and should not do concerning the middle seat, check out my other post, Middle Seat Etiquette.

Happy Travels

Heather Poole

Have a tip when traveling with kids? Post a comment below. I'd love to hear from you.

Whenever I travel (traveled) with kids, I always
Book the extra seat	79 (67.5%)
Pray there's an open seat	10 (8.5%)
No kids, just pets (or plants)	28 (23.9%)

Photo courtesy of matth

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Reader Comments (Page 1 of 1)

Jim Nov 21st 2008 12:44PM

"Are there any sneaky ways to insure that we could get an 'empty' seat for her????' There sure are, pay for it. If your child needs a seat it needs a ticket.

Dan Nov 21st 2008 12:57PM

Marlo,

Nice to meet you. Given my middle seat luck, I'll be the one seperating you and yours. Although I'm much more sympathetic to children now that my friends are having them, I just wanted to inform you that your plan to "get" an empty seat without having to pay for it will fail, and I'll spend 6 hours being subjected to crosstalk and items -- if not your little one -- being passed back and forth. Thank you, ahead of time, for my foul mood upon my arrival.

Maz Nov 21st 2008 10:38PM

Heather--here is a great oportunity to advocate the CARES restraint for children 22-44 pounds!

As you know from my reply to your previous article, I think the FAA and industry as a whole does a huge injustice to families by allowing parents to feel that it is safe to hold a child when we all know it is not. However, things being what they are, I would never question a parent's choice onboard my aircraft.

I do take every chance I get to suggest purchasing a CARES restraint. It is compact and fits in your purse or carry-on and is therefore especially perfect for the situations when you get lucky and have an openseat available. It is enough of a drama to drag the car seat around when you've purchased the seat, let alone for a "just in case" scenario.

I cannot not think of a single parent that I have told about the device who hasn't been grateful to know they have this option. One mom even told me that she didn't purchase the seat because its difficult to handle the 16 month old, 4 year old, luggage, etc--she was traveling alone. It wasn't the cost of the seat at all--just the logistics.

http://www.kidsflysafe.com/

Heather Poole Nov 23rd 2008 5:57PM

Maz

I have written about CARES, twice! But I think I'll go back and add a link to that post. Thanks for the suggestion.

Lisa Nov 22nd 2008 2:51PM

Having been on both sides of this situation (stuck in the middle and also traveling parent), I would suggest that your flight will be more pleasant for everyone if you or your husband give up your window seat and trade with the occupant of the seat across the aisle, once the plane has boarded. Passing items and kids across the aisle is less intrusive to other passengers. If you need to take a stroll or change a diaper, either parent is available and no one has to crawl over another passenger.

Hopefully that seat is a single traveler. If not, trade with the middle seat. It's the next best option. But I'll keep my fingers crossed that you get lucky with that empty seat. It IS a lot easier to have that little extra space to spread out when you have a little one.

Good Luck

JD Nov 23rd 2008 12:18AM

This lady is an idiot and deserves to travel on Grey Hound. And the "Flight Attendant" who writes this column deserves to be driving the bus.
Dear Marlo,
I am a real flight attendant. First of all, people like you are the reason I think people should have to apply for the rights to have kids- you're willing to compromise your child's safety to safe a few bucks. Secondly, if a child under two isn't safely secured in a child's seat you get to hold the little bundle of joy all flight, unless your stupid scheme to score an extra middle seat works out. Finally, even if you're lucky enough to score an extra seat you would be required by Federal Law to strap down the toddler to a seat with a belt that is designed for an adult.
I hope you hit severe turbulence. You're one of those people who leave the dirty diapers in the seat back, aren't you?!
P.S. - Thank you for chosing American Airlines, I have no chance of having to deal with you this holiday season.

Mark R. Nov 23rd 2008 10:43AM

JD.....relax! Did you just work the flight from hell or are you always this bitter? If you are the"real flight attendant" the flying public and your airline are in TROUBLE. Your bad attitude unfortunately is what gives all FAs a bad reputation. I will take Heather any day over you as my FA, and thank God I usually only fly AA so I will not have to deal with your funky attitude. Marlo sounds concerned enough or at least now educated enough to give up her window or aisle seat so her family can sit together and not bother the other passenger in her row.

JD, have a Happy Holidays!

Maz Nov 23rd 2008 5:27PM

"…you would be required by Federal Law to strap down the toddler to a seat with a belt that is designed for an adult."

Obviously you are not a "real flight attendant" or you would know that Federal Aviation Regulations (121.311, 91.107) allow a child who has not reached his/her 2nd birthday to be held by an adult during all phases of flight, including taxi, take-off, landing and any time the seatbelt sign is on. There is no caveat to this policy, therefore regardless of the availability of a seat (purchased or otherwise); the child may be held under the guidelines of “Federal Law.”

Furthermore, most (if not all) US carriers have their own policies (which are not Federal Law) that require a child to weigh no less than 25 pounds to safely use the aircraft seatbelt alone. If the little one is less than 25 pounds, an FAA approved child restraint must be used when occupying the aircraft seat for taxi, take-off landing and any time that the seatbelt sign is illuminated—the use of “a belt that is designed for an adult" would actually be prohibited by your own airline.

I wholeheartedly disagree with allowing lap children, but I know the FARs and my own company’s policies. Perhaps you should get out your manual and review FARs, your company’s policies and talk to your Inflight Supervisor about what is lacking in your carrier’s training program that causes you to speak with so much confidence in your ignorance.

JD Nov 23rd 2008 10:19PM

you donkeys- this lady is purposely trying to cause an inconvenience on a flight over the holiday's that she knows is going to be full.
the inflight crew working that leg will be the ones stuck with your poor advise. if there are enough available seats that a passenger can try to munipulate the rest of the cabin they should have just bought the whole row, problem solved.
what upsets me the most is that she is not the only parent who would jeopardize their infant's safety and inconvenience others to save the extra money.
you are correct, any child under the age of 2 must be in the adults lap any time the seat belt sign is on, taxi, takeoff, and landing. i re-read my post and my thoughts got mixed. if every parent would strap their children into a child's seat in their car then why do they not do so on an aircraft?
cheers, here's to the flight attendant call button going off 10 minutes before departure because this lady needs to rearrange her family!

Jane Nov 24th 2008 9:34AM

Marlo, I know everyone wants to go home for the holidays and times are tough economically, but if isn't too late, please rethink purchasing that third seat for your daughter. I have an acquaintance who tried what you are doing. A few years ago she was holding her "just under two" son in her lap when the seatbelt sign was on because of turbulence. They hit a particularly rough patch of air, the plane lurched violently and she was not able to hold on to him. He shot out of her arms into the seatback across the aisle of them and was badly injured. He made a full recovery eventually, but for the price of one ticket, she could have spared him a lot of pain and medical procedures, in addition to the expense. She will never forgive herself. How much is your daughter's life really worth to you? Less than the cost of a seat?

Amanda Nov 24th 2008 10:54AM

First of all, I'm not commenting on the safety factor, as I'm not in any kind of position of expertise to do so. I think we all realize that it's probably best for a child to have their own seat, with some type of child restraint system, but I think we also can recognize that for some people that is not financially possible. Having said that, I have a couple of thoughts.

First, if two people are travelling together (with or without a child), and book a window and an aisle seat with the hopes of getting the middle seat for free, and someone does get seated in the middle seat, can one of them switch? As in, could the member of the party of two who is seated in the window seat swap with the person in the middle? If I were travelling with someone and we had done that, I’d rather swap my seat and sit in the middle, but still next to my travelling companion, then have a window/aisle and be split up.

Second, how long is your flight? There's also a big difference between an hour long flight with a child on your lap and an eight hour flight. The longer the flight, the more I would suggest buying the extra ticket.

Finally, at least you and your husband are travelling together with your daughter, so you can switch of holding her. My sister once had to take a six hour flight on her own for a funeral, with her 22 month old (just under the limit, I know) on her lap the whole way.