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Galley Gossip: Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #4 - Turn around, go that way!
"Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard," I say, and I say this as I'm standing between first class and coach while passengers board the airplane and slowly make their way down the aisle. That's when I spot you standing at your row with your bag sitting on an aisle seat as you stare up at the overhead bin, a full overhead bin, and shake your head.
"Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard," I say, as you continue staring into the full overhead bin above your seat, and as you stare, still shaking your head, I already know what you're going to say before you even say it, and while I wait for you to say it, I continue to greet the passengers during the boarding process. "Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard."
Though I can't make out the words, I see you're talking to those seated around you, pointing aggressively at your seat, at the overhead bin, back at your seat again, and as you begin to make a scene, a very loud one, you turn and look at me.
"Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard," I say, and as I say this, I'm thinking to myself, here we go, and I'm wondering, as I've wondered thousands of times before, why you can't just turn around and put the bag inside the empty overhead bin behind you, the one located three rows back. You see it. I see it. We all see it. So why don't you use it? You can use it, ya know.
Waving your hands in the air at me, you say, "Excuse me, Miss! Can you help me!"
Of course. I slide in behind a passenger and slowly make my way down the aisle. You look very concerned, so I smile at you, but you don't smile back. You never do. Now this is about to go one of three ways, depending on how often you fly...
YOU RARELY FLY: "There are bags in MY overhead bin!"
YOU FLY A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR: "Can you help me find a place for my bag?"
YOU'RE A FREQUENT FLIER: "Can I put my bag up there?" (pointing to first class)
ME: "I'm sorry," I always say, no matter how often you fly, because I am, truly, sorry - sorry I have to say sorry all day long! "But you're going to have to use the bin three rows back." I point at the bin. "I'd grab it quick before someone else does." Now the next thing I'm going to say depends on how often you fly, and usually goes something like this..
YOU RARELY FLY: Look, I know it's frustrating when the overhead bin above your seat is full, but the overhead bin space is shared space. That means anyone can use it. You. Him. Her. Everyone. Yes, you bought the seat below the bin, but you did not buy the bin.
YOU FLY A COUPLE TIMES A YEAR: If I could move some things around I would, but the bin is completely full already and there's no way your bag is going to fit. I know it's not fair! Particularly if you've only brought on-board one small bag, which I see is the case, but I can't go POOF and make all the other bags dis
appear now can I?
YOU'RE A FREQUENT FLIER: There's no need to show me your frequent flier card. Trust me, I already know you're a VIP, which is why you're sitting in the bulkhead row in the first place. You know as well as I do that first class is full (or else you'd be sitting there) and I can't let you use that empty bin, not when we're still waiting for a few first class passengers to board. Now I'm pretty sure you already know why, but since you're still arguing with me I'll spell it out. Because when you spend that kind of money to sit in first class, like you normally do, you expect to find an empty bin when you come on-board, too.
Ridiculous, my least favorite word a passenger can say, has just been used, and as that word is spat at me I see something happen that I knew was going to happen. Someone has just thrown their bags, two of them, into the empty overhead bin three rows back.
Now it is I who shakes my head, because you, dear passenger, will have to walk five rows back to get your bag into a bin, and as I tell you this, I continue shaking my head, and of course I add the word, "Sorry." I'm always sorry.
"I'll hold up the airplane when we land in order to get my bag out of the overhead bin five rows back!" exclaimed a passenger, a passenger who is also MY HUSBAND, a frequent flier I met on an airplane, after I had told him about what I was writing.
Completely appalled, I visualized the man I would NOT have married if I'd have seen him acting like that. "You're kidding, right?"
Nope. He, the husband, a frequent flier I met in business class on a flight from Los Angeles to New York somewhere over Illinois, assured me he was not joking. And here I agreed to go out with the guy in the first place because I thought he was a nice passenger. Just when you think you know a person, they have to go and freak out over an overhead bin.
And so...after discussing the sensitive overhead bin topic quite thoroughly with the not so nice passenger / husband, I have concluded that if he had not been able to get his bag into a bin near his seat I probably would not agreed to meet him at the Starbucks located across the street from our layover hotel seven years ago. Which means we would not have had our beautiful baby boy a little over two years ago. Which means that my life, as I know it, would have turned out totally different.
"And I love my life," I read out loud. It was the very last line of this post, and I wanted to know what the husband, who was now looking at me funny, thought.
"I never said I'd hold up the airplane!" he exclaimed, even though he most certainly did say that and I remember exactly when and where he said it - on the couch, during a commercial break at 9:15pm, two nights ago.
Okay so perhaps the man was hallucinating when I first read him this post. Or maybe he was just having a bad day. Taking it out on me and my overhead bin post. Who knows? All I know is I'm glad to he wouldn't hold up the deplaning process in order to get his precious bag. He travels a lot. Over 100,000 miles a year. And flight attendants know he's mine! Which means I can now go back to work and not worry about what the husband is doing on the airplane while I'm working another flight, standing between coach and first class saying, "Hello. How are you? Welcome aboard."
Now that you're curious about the other flight attendant pet peeves, click the following links:
- Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #1: Answer Please!
- Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #2: Back to your seat please!
- Flight Attendant Pet Peeve #3: You want me to do what?
Filed under: Airlines, Galley Gossip
Reader Comments (Page 1 of 5)
masanddjs Sep 4th 2008 9:36AM
You really need to retire
Charlie Sep 8th 2008 2:26PM
She doesn't need to retire, people need to wake up and use their manners! What's wrong with you?
dj Sep 4th 2008 9:37AM
I don't think many men would enjoy being referred to as "the husband". Not very endearing.
Brenda SFO Sep 4th 2008 10:26AM
Oh jeeze, haven't you heard of "tongue-in-cheek" humor? Plenty of men refer to their wives as "the wife!"
And I'm sorry, I fly a lot, and the overhead bin usually becomes an issue on every flight. So how can Heather not write about something that creates an issue on every flight?
angelo Sep 4th 2008 11:02AM
oh yea the stewardes, the ones who dont know left from right, who try to give you aircraft caben write ups on tissue because ITS TO HARD to write in the log book, the same knuckle heads who put the ice scoop in the ice tray and then put pour the whole thing into the lav! only to get the ice scoop stuck in it! and the all time best, when you do figure out how to write in the log book its always something outstanding " forward lave's fill quickly when used often" or "loud smell in first class" .
Jane Sep 8th 2008 3:39PM
Angelo, you sound like a disgruntled mechanic...and if you are, you need to learn to spell so others can understand what you say when you respond to squawks in the log book. And if you are, indeed a mechanic, I am a former cleaner (USAir, 15 years) and I, for one, got sick and tired of getting an a/c spic and span to have you come drop your greasy tools on a seat or on the galley counter, so your job and then leave a mess that you expect ME to come and clean up. Let's not forget using the newly-cleaned lav, washing your hands and leaving a mess because you're too lazy/stupid to use the head when you were in the hangar or terminal. I could go on...but I think you get my message.
ualwings Sep 8th 2008 5:38PM
Angelo, I have been a flight attendant for 23 years and I honestly hope to God that you are not employed by the same airline I am! You are nearly illiterate and I can't imagine that someone of your obviously low intelligence could be employed by any reputable air carrier. You should really think twice the next time you decide to mouth off about how stupid other people are.
Maru Sep 8th 2008 6:23PM
First Angelo,we are not Stewardess, we are Flight Attendants. Second, learn how to write in English, maybe then you will understand the cabin write up's...I gather you must be a mechanic...figures.....
Maru Sep 8th 2008 6:29PM
Angelo: I hope you dont work for the same airline i work for..you scare me! We are called Flight Attendants, the same ones that treat you well when your sorry ass is on board. i suggest you learn how to write, maybe then you will be able to read the f/a's write up's. that is your problem, you are dumb, which scares me even more if you are a mechanic!
BrianM Sep 4th 2008 11:29AM
I honestly cannot believe that the Flight attendants union is standing for this crap! Seriously, only one Checked bag now and if you are .5lbs over it's expensive enought that I should have fed exed my bag. Carry-on space was a problem before the new limitation. Hell if they want flights to board easily charge $10 for Carry-On and make checked luggage up to 4 items free.
Passengers are being treated like crap and they are going to take it out on the public facing role of the company that is choosing to treat them that way, and every time the airlines cut some other little thing it is going to rain down on the flight crew. who in turn could put those points into union negotiations.
I remember getting a fresh baked warm cookie in first class :'(
Lori Sep 8th 2008 3:08PM
You know why no one wants to put their bag in a compartment BEHIND their seat? Because you can't get to it to get your bag when deplaning..and you often have to wait until last or until another passenger has the courtesy to allow you to step out of your seat and back to get it. The flight attendants don't help or care..all you care about is saying goodbye as everyone gets off the plane. A little assistance is at times appreciated and maybe I could understand your "peeve" a little more. Sitting in a broken seat and having the stewardess condescend to me about not putting my seat in the upright position didn't sit well, either. Flying is a nightmare anymore for a lot of reasons. I hate it...just remember when I start taking busses to my destination (and I am)..that I helped pay your salary and keep you employed, too.
Susan Sep 4th 2008 11:36AM
This is so ludicrous! Who cares where your bag is stored-ON THE PLANE? These people should just be glad they have their bag in hand when they get off the plane. I once reached the door to the plane with my carry on-only to be told that there wasn't room for it on the plane so it would have to be put it down below with the checked baggage. As they pried it out of my hands I thought to myself-OK, what could possibly happen? They will hand carry it off the jetway, down the stairs where they could not possibly miss the plane sitting RIGHT THERE in front of them. Right? On no, you would be wrong! My carry on (which is all I was traveling with) did not arrive at Newark when I did. It ended up in....Rhode Island! So as I said, who cares which overhead bin the luggage is in. Just be glad that it ends up with you when you arrive at your destination.
Bill Bower Sep 4th 2008 11:57AM
LOVE the story. I am a DTW based F/A, and have shared your pain many times. My crew "de-briefed" in my room during my last trip and we were in tears laughing at your stories. Keep up the good work. Maybe "Earthlings" will someday get a clue about our job. Fly safe...Bill Bower
JJ Sep 8th 2008 7:34PM
Oh Bob - you poor, poor man who probably makes well into the 6 figures. Don't try to compare yourself with Flight Attendants who certainly do NOT make 6 figures. Your job is important, but you need a reality check
Raymond Sep 4th 2008 2:27PM
This story reminds me of the "chat" I had with someone I was dating! Same type of thing, but over a whole can of soda! At the time we only had enough on the flights to POUR 1 GLASS, if we didn't we wouldn't have enough for the return flight! I bought him a WHOLE six pack the next day!
Willy Sep 4th 2008 2:53PM
Ha. People HATE putting their bags behind them because they don't want to swim upstream once the flight is over.
Here's a solution: pack less on your carry-on and you'll be able to stick it under your seat.
And I wouldn't mind being called "the husband." Better than some of the things I've been called.
iso opto Sep 4th 2008 3:19PM
If you do not like the responsibilities of your job then quit your job. You are miserable your, passengers are miserable, your coworkers are miserable and your management is miserable. Employee discontent is an obvious problem for the airline industry. Now, what do you think are you part of the problem or the solution?
Magenta Sep 17th 2008 1:40AM
Reading the comments makes me wonder how clueless some people can be...even when we explain they want reality altered for them. Six seats and two bins is what it averages out to with a single aisle aircraft. Now all of you want to roll a bag on that you would never had brought had you had to carry it. If the bin is full do you want the other five people in your row to move their bags for you? I work hard to find and assist my passengers but lift your overstuffed bag by myself for you...no..it is not my job. The airlines do not want us to do that because on the job injury costs them$$$...then there is the pain of an injured back or rotator cuff that we have to live with. There is one flight attendant per 50 passengers...they all have bags.Thankfully most are grown up enough to be responsible for themselves.
Secret Asian Man Sep 4th 2008 4:03PM
Passengers can avoid this by either boarding earlier and thus get first dibs on the overhead bins or just pack less and use the under-seat storage.
Oh, but of course that's just too hard.
Your trademark greeting reminds me of a flamboyant male FA who repeated "Hi, welcome!" in such a way that I always smile just thinking about it. He says it exactly the same way everytime. It was as if he's been saying it that way all his career.
Do every FA has their own unique greeting and the execution of that greeting?
JohnnyJet74 Sep 5th 2008 2:05AM
Looking at the picture, I swear I thought you were going to say you had the same pet peeve as me; which is when people put their rollaboard in lengthwise instead of wheels first. At my old airline (I recently stopped flying after 14 years) part of our standard boarding announcement is "This aircraft is equipped with extended overhead bins...to maximize the available shared overhead space please place your rollaboards in wheels first" and, inevitably, as you finish saying that you watch someone throw their bag in sideways taking up WAY too much room.